


You're My Fate...

by fakeaccunt



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Awkward First Times, Awkward Sexual Situations, Birth Control, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Dead Phil Coulson, Deaf Clint Barton, Developing Relationship, Dubious Consent, Dubious Ethics, Dubious Morality, Getting to Know Each Other, Heavy Angst, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Insecure Bucky Barnes, Insecure Steve Rogers, Insecurity, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Knotting, Lack of Communication, Limited Reproductive Rights, Loss of Control, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Medical Examination, Medical Inaccuracies, Medical Procedures, Mpreg, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Omega Bucky Barnes, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pack Bonding, Pack Family, Pack Feels, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Porn with Feelings, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Steve Rogers, Rutting, Secrets, Self-Hatred, Sign Language, Smut, Soulmates, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2020-02-28 04:00:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 50,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18748591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fakeaccunt/pseuds/fakeaccunt
Summary: .oOo.When Steve fought the Winter Soldier, he was expecting a man who wouldn't hesitate to kill him. A soldier who could match him in the fight. A mission he wouldn't have survived.He wasn't expecting to leave the helicarriers. At the expense of everyone that would have been killed, he was willing to pay that price.He wasn't expecting that man to be his Fated Mate..oOo.





	1. Salvage What We Can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falling from the helicarriers, Steve hadn't expected his mate to save him.
> 
> Waking up with the man on top of him, he'd never hoped he'd been more wrong.
> 
> And it didn't get any better from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyyyy gais~ <3
> 
> It's been a spell, I've had a lot going on in my life and it hasn't been pretty but hopefully it starts to get better. I do have more time for writing now, so that's good.
> 
> I did decide to work on the Cu Sidhe Story and a couple others *cough*causeihavewanderingbrain*cough* and it's coming along nicely~ but then I had this one there and I really liked how it was comin' along and...
> 
> Distractions~.
> 
> Anyway, this one is pretty angsty, very dubious in terms of morality. Hydra is actually the big bad this time but it still toes the grey areas, all that jazz. You know how much I love all that~.
> 
> No Beta but I'm sure you already knew that~
> 
> I enjoyed endgame, and yes, I do have a fix it fic in mind cause we all know steve would NEVER go back in time without it being to save bucky~ But for now?
> 
> Enjoy~ <3<3<3

.oOo.

 

Steve woke up with the man he'd just been fighting on top of him, straddling him, leaning down on his chest, and looking up at his face with a grumpy if curious look. _God, his head hurt._

 

And... _shit._

 

He wasn't mistaken then...

 

He moved to sit up and the man sat up himself, pushing him back down. His body was still burning and he let out a growl.

 

This man was his soulmate, which meant he'd present soon if he hadn't already.

 

He thought he'd been mistaken when they had that pause on the bridge, when he'd been fighting him. But the moment he'd managed to get the mask off, the scent and feeling stirring were unmistakable.

 

Steve felt his cock stir and he was overwhelmed with the scent of the other man, trying to reorient himself. This... _seriously_ wasn't good. He gave another growl and a groan when the man wiggled his hips a bit over him so the cleft of his ass was caught against Steve's responding crotch. The other man let out a small gasp as Steve started to recognize what their scents were.

 

His head was still clouded and hurt like hell, but all he could take in was a sweet scent like honey and hard cider, spiced to high hell but he wanted to bury himself in it. A bitter overlay masking it that brought out another growl. _Omega_.

 

But that... that didn't seem right.

 

If he was smellin' Omega... wouldn't that make him...

 

 _Shit..._ shit...

 

He bucked his hips, and felt the other man moan before giving a whimper. Sweet and cute and way too satisfying to Steve's senses.

 

He gave another growl before hearing the man start to give a low continuous growl of his own and taking in some more scents.

 

The feeling he should have felt being an _'oh, thank god'_ when he recognized them, not his emotions souring and hostility pouring into his senses. He barely heard the strangled _'Steve?'_ before he saw his mate get a Widow's bite that made him let out a whine, and felt himself pulled away from him. He couldn't do much with Steve having dislocated his arm.

 

Everything went black.

 

.oOo.

 

When Steve woke up, he was in a salvaged S.H.I.E.L.D. medical facility. He hadn't had the anger to fight Nick on saving what was left of S.H.I.E.L.D.... even if he had thought it was a bad idea.

 

He could hear growling in the distance. Mixed with the occasional whine and whimper. He got up, shaking his head. Half a mind questioning what had happened, the other, one track toward his _mate_. He gave a low growl without realizing it before stepping out into the hall. The other growling had stopped but he'd heard where it had come from. He started walking in that direction before hearing a sharp whine cut through the air and seeing the other man from before, who seemed to light up before running to him.

 

He saw some S.H.I.E.L.D. agents come after his mate and he couldn't stop the growl before it came out. That seemed to shock them as he felt the man whimper against him.

 

It also landed him a seat in the new, and much smaller, office of one Nicholas J. Fury. Steve was breathing much harder than he wanted to, Nick didn't seem very angry, but Steve was having... _trouble_... registering what was going on.

 

“Caused quite a commotion with that new Omega a yours, Rogers.”

 

Steve took a breath. He wasn't mistaken then. And he'd never been prepared for this... he'd always thought... and with an enemy? A soldier from Hydra? He shook it off, forcing himself to talk.

 

“W-who is he?”

 

“Natasha told you that. The Winter Soldier. War criminal. Hydra assassin. Terrorist. Nearly killed me, and you and everyone else. Did kill Stark's father... and a lot of others.”

 

Steve swallowed. His mouth dry. Nick continued.

 

“Before that though... James Buchanan Barnes. Sargent borrowed from our allies for the U.S. Army. Captured with the 107th during the war. Never made it out...”

 

Steve looked up. A soldier he'd missed... one they couldn't confirm dead then...

 

“Considering his crimes, there's a lot of people that want him dead or on trial, with a death sentence. I'm willing to bet he's not nearly as guilty as Hydra made him out to be. He's running on instinct, bordering feral. And there's a lot of evidence of torture. If the files Natasha found on him aren't enough to convince a person. That he's your mate... complicates things further. But it might also help. Omega puts a leash on himself for his Alpha...”

 

“W-what am I... supposed to do?”

 

“That depends on you. You wanna keep him? You'll have to bind him.”

 

Steve's anger flared. He stood up. “I can't just—. You want me t-to  _rape_ him?” No matter who or _what_ he was—.

 

Fury looked impassive but resigned. “Easy Alpha. I don't _want_ you to do anything... I'm just here to tell you the options they gave me, given the situation. He's a prisoner of war, but he is also a _criminal_. That he's enhanced makes him _dangerous_. He's about to enter heat, you're about to enter rut. If you would like to _keep_ your mate, you're going to have to bite him...”

 

Steve could hear the unspoken words in Nick's tone. And it didn't calm him down. _They_ only saw the criminal. _They_ didn't want to play fair, because apparently human rights only apply to people who aren't enhanced. If Steve wanted to _save_ him... in _any_ way...

 

“What's going to happen if I don't?”

 

Nick was quiet a moment. “I don't think you want that answer. I can only do so much with what's happened.”

 

Steve was quiet a moment himself, willing his breaths to calm down. He finally hesitated with a nod. “Understood...”

 

Nick gave a nod back, before calling for Agent Hill. It didn't seem very surprising to him, but most people knew that once you'd met your soulmate, you'd be drawn to the person. To him, it was probably obvious that Steve would want to save him. He was probably already starting to feel his mate, discern what was true from what Nick had told him and understand it better than anyone could, just with that small glimpse he no doubt could catch from Barnes. They had likely been banking on Steve only seeing the monster in him, the Winter Soldier which had tried to kill him.

 

They didn't know Steve Rogers if they thought he wouldn't save someone who needed it.

 

.oOo.

 

Maria came by and Steve went with her. She escorted him to where his Omega was. She didn't give anything other than a nod at the situation, and after a while, spoke. “They placed him in a heat room down by the south ward, where he can nest. It's... sterile, but it will... work.” A light way of saying it wasn't as cozy as they could've hoped and they weren't gonna be offered anything better.

 

“You'll need to be prepped and checked. It's likely they'll give you a preventative, most likely a shot. It's also likely Hydra never knew what he'd present as, so he's still fertile. His system is still flushing out the drugs, but they'll be giving him multiple preventatives as well, before and afterward. We've... received strict orders from the brass. He's not to fall pregnant...”

 

She took him to a few doctors first. They checked him over, took a sample with a small needle. They had to be thorough, which meant a little invasive, prompting a growl from Steve. They seemed nervous but he could tell they were trying to make this as quick as possible. After a few words he didn't care to hear, they had him lay down and injected him with something. Twice, they stabbed his sac. Not a pleasant feeling. It left a lingering ache that wasn't exactly comforting, and seemed to be growing by the minute. It took him a moment to remember how to walk properly. Once he did, Maria took him to the room they had his mate in.

 

They had him laying on the bed, docile. One doctor making sure a steady stream of sedative was keeping him at bay. Steve's nostrils flared the moment he entered the room and caught sight of his Omega.

 

“Steve.”

 

He didn't realize he started growling and had to pull himself back to make sure they didn't or wouldn't think he needed to be restrained.

 

His mate was naked on his back, legs spread as the other doctor seemed to be checking him. Steve could smell the slick and sweet scent along with bitter chemical that made him want to growl even more.

 

“He's been given a strong oral contraceptive as well as laced with spermicide. Should the mating be successful, we'll discuss further preventatives from there.” There was a certain twinge to his tone that wasn't friendly, like he believed Steve should just let the man be killed. From guilt or mercy, Steve wouldn't be able to tell. What's worse, he didn't know how to react, because he wasn't even sure of that himself.

 

They left the room, but left the sedative, attached by I.V..

 

And Steve... he took a breath.

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, bottom Bucky~
> 
> This one, I'm not planning on making too long. To be honest, I just wanted a weary housewife Bucky that Steve helps make everything better for and vice versa, but it got a little more story along the way (don't they always? heh)...
> 
> It's got some interesting... things~ and if it wasn't clear, Bucky and Steve are strangers to start with, and this will definitely be a learning process for both of them, i'm not kidding when it comes to dubious morals and angst, this is probably gonna be one of my darker works (but still not too dark, i can only handle so much, shut up, i'm a pussy i know, don't judge me)
> 
> anyway, there's one song that's always been pretty consistent in my mind regarding stucky, and that really spoke to me for this fic
> 
> if you've never heard the song "Never Too Late" by 'Three Days Grace', go listen to it, i might add a link at some point but it's a good one
> 
> i think that's everything... ah well
> 
> Toodles~ <3


	2. Bucky...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve feels the full brunt of his rut. 
> 
> And the full brunt of guilt that comes with it.
> 
> But his mate...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a dirty dirty pervert, okay...

.oOo.

 

The first thing Steve did was remove the sedative. Looming over the man as he came back to himself. Eyes fluttering open. Steve just hoping he was okay.

 

He took in his surroundings and his Alpha's scent. He didn't sit up, instead looking up at Steve. His eyes glazed over, cheeks flushed with heat fever already starting to affect him...

 

Steve winced and... wasn't really sure how to go about this. He opened his mouth as if to speak but the man didn't seem interested in talking as he felt a knee nudge his crotch. Almost too firmly, just enough to brush by. Steve gave a groan. At the Alpha's response, he gave a much softer touch to gauge reaction. Steve pulled back if a bit before a hand stopped him, grabbing his wrist.

 

A small whine coaxing him to come back. Steve sat back at that but still hesitated, still sure he was too close, still leaning inbetween his Omega's legs. And after a moment, the man seemed to pull his legs up so Steve could clearly see his tiny little hole, legs spread wide and pretty. Pucker oozing slick.

 

He was presenting, Steve realized. And he wasn't really sure how to react but he figured he should do _something._ He moved a finger, trembling to that small hole, feeling it twitch at the small touch. Another whine let out. He knew if he waited long enough, this might start to hurt him. He pressed it firmer against the small rim, against the cloaca still making itself more obvious. A little more and his finger was sucked right in, a gasp from the man.

 

Steve figured he shouldn't be too surprised he was a little stretched. They had just been putting... contraceptive in him. The Omega gave a small purr so Steve continued for a moment, getting that little bit closer. Eventually adding more fingers, feeling the pathway, the slick flesh, the heat of it... When he heard another whine, something meant to coax him again, he stopped. Looking for something in the Omega's eyes but not finding anything other than... lust.

 

He removed his fingers and hesitated in obliging, but took off his shirt, then his pants. The Omega seemed patient enough, relaxing a little if still holding his legs spread, letting them go a little lax and even wider for Steve.

 

He really, _really_ , was not sure of what he was doing. But some part of his instincts seemed to answer that, urge him on. He could feel a dull ache in his balls and something in the back of his mind making him release a low growl. He hadn't even noticed how hard he'd gotten or how hard the other man was until he'd lined himself up. Which was something, because you really wouldn't think that's somethin' that'd slip by him. His mind felt foggy and like it was getting more so by the minute.

 

The head of his cock was pressed against that small hole but he hadn't pushed in. The Omega under him was staring at him. The same glazed over look in glossy eyes before something different shined over them in a flash. Something of defiance, maybe? They weren't angry, or full of hatred but... there was something in them Steve couldn't quite bring himself to grasp. He still hadn't moved. Still unsure, waiting... waiting for _something._

 

His mate seemed to get impatient. Wiggling his hips and nudging himself down onto Steve's cock. The tip slipped in and he let out a barely there moan covered up by Steve's gasp. Steve was about to pull away and out. The Omega had stopped holding his legs and relaxed a bit but seemed to sense this and quickly moved them to wrap around Steve's waist in encouragement. Steve was so surprised, he moved forward instead, and slid right in, buried to the hilt.

 

And _god_ , if that slick, tight, heat didn't feel amazing wrapped around him. He moved to pull himself out again, still not really sure what to do, but those same legs tightened with a vice grip, keeping him in place. His Omega was trembling. And after a second, he realized the other man was still adjusting to his size. Was he... _was he really that big?_

 

Granted, Steve had never been inside another person before. Or really done much of anything. He'd always expected that when he'd found his mate, he'd have someone inside of him instead... Growing up, the doctors first assumed he wouldn't have a mate, but when the mark appeared, they started checking for small hints of what he would present as. Everyone always told him Omega, but they'd never find anything. He was small, and sickly, went to church, was told to keep himself _pure_... whatever that really meant... Steve just didn't have much interest in messing around. They say it's not likely you will until you meet your mate and present.

 

Thinking on it now, maybe they couldn't find anything because they weren't searchin' for the right things.

 

People only presented once they'd matured and found their mate, but until that moment, everything stayed hidden with only the minor occasional hint. And the mark to prove you had a mate. Typically a small thing, akin to a birthmark though not appearing at birth, and hard to spot. His ma had asked so many times why he was so temperamental, always gettin' into fights and the doctors never had a reason for that one because they figured an Omega shouldn't be that way.

 

Sometimes, people presented early, because they'd already met their mate but hadn't matured yet and would present as soon as they did, even if their mate wasn't around in that moment. Sometimes people got confused cause not everyone had a mate. Just the Alphas and Omegas which weren't the majority of people.

 

Omegas that presented late went through a lot of pain on the first heat. Their insides catching up to make em' nice and fertile, ready for their Alphas. An Alpha was supposed to be able to help with that...

 

Steve expected to be going through that pain. Not having to figure out the Alpha role to relieve it as the man under him gave light whimpers.

 

He stopped trembling after a moment and gave a small bite to Steve's collarbone. Steve looked down at him but still didn't move. Unsure of what to do. After a moment, he got impatient again and moved his hips to jostle Steve. He got the picture.

 

He pulled back to just the tip still being inside of him, slow drag, and pushed back in, same pace. He didn't want to hurt him. Didn't know what his Omega could handle, what he, himself could handle. Didn't want to overwhelm, didn't want to be overwhelmed... he still wasn't really sure what he was doing. But he could manage gentle. And his mate seemed to like it. Soft purrs starting to escape him again.

 

He urged Steve on, and he managed to pick up some rhythm, trying not to go too much harder but having trouble keeping himself bound. Breaths started escaping the man under him to match his thrusts, and he got faster, harder, wanting— _needing_ more. Both of them.

 

Before he knew it, the other man's legs were tightening and warm fluid spilled between them, sticky and messy. His mate's walls, tight and flutterin' around him. He faltered a bit but couldn't stop. He remembered a few things. He kept grazing past a small node inside of him and realized what it was.

 

He remembered them teaching him that an Omega's prostate was a lot more sensitive than a Beta or an Alpha's. He angled himself to hit it more directly, getting deeper, as deep as he could. The head of his cock was stopped every time by a different little node inside of him. Probably the man's cervix. Whatever it was hugged his tip gracefully and was drivin' them both mad.

 

A little while more passed and he felt his mate start clenching around him again, pulling him in as if to milk him for all he was worth, his cock starting to get hard between them again. Steve gave a growl, low and satisfied before he could realize it. His rut was hittin' him as much as his Omega's heat was affecting him. All he could think about was chasing his own release. Pleasing his Omega, satisfying them both. Stopping the pain. The dull ache in his sac was still there, getting heavier even.

 

He felt a small node start to build at the base of his cock. Growing. He'd switched to shallow, sharp and quick thrusts that had his mate hanging on tight but felt like he needed to get deeper.

 

He freaked out when he felt that rim hug his knot. _Knot._ **Knot** _ **.**_ Okay, this was real. He was an Alpha. And he was about to—.

 

He seemed to re-register what had been happening after being lost in it for so long. Abruptly pulling out and getting a whine from his Omega as he scrambled away in panic.

 

The Omega seemed to take it in stride, wanting to soothe his Alpha. But when Steve pulled back further, he had a different plan to get him back. He turned over, got on all fours and re-presented himself. Small hole, pretty and used, still leakin' plenty of slick and a little bit of blood. No doubt from—... Steve's eyes widened. He bared his neck. An invitation to mount and bite. The traditional way and it _really_ spoke to the Alpha in Steve.

 

His teeth got antsy, he could feel himself itching to bite. He let out a growl and crawled back over, and it was barely a moment before he was slinking home, back into that warm, welcoming little hole. He got lost in it again. Not realizing it until he felt the rich iron tang of blood wash over his tongue, the ache leave his teeth, left with the feeling of sinking into soft flesh, his knot grown to the point of being locked in, rim constricting around it in even spasms.

 

Sheer ecstasy as he marked his Omega, inside and out, and felt the bond forming as he poured himself into the other man, deep and seeming like it wouldn't end. Even streams of cum, his hips held tight against the other man's ass. The ache finally feeling some relief with every burst, willing the pleasure to continue with each twitch of his hips. The Omega's hole, unwilling to let him go, trapping him as deep as his cock could go, head trapped right where it needed to be so his mark wouldn't have anywhere else to go.

 

He finally let go with his teeth, lapping up the blood to see a perfect, toothy mark, marring his nape. The sheets under them had been made dirty from his Omega's release and slick that had dripped out. Steve held him tight, tighter when he realized what happened and finally came down from his high and back to himself. Arms wrapping around his Omega's waist and face pressed into his shoulder.

 

It shouldn't have felt as good as it did.

 

He choked on his breath, willing himself to calm down, for his breath to calm, and failing miserably when he felt his mate tense, no doubt feeling the tears from his face.

 

What kind of Alpha claims his Omega and then starts crying. Pathetic... isn't it...

 

His Omega made no move to react, just gave a soft whine as if to soothe him once more.

 

They got lost again. Heat and rut taking over and he eventually lost count of how many times he'd knotted his Omega, how many times he felt those inner walls flutter around him. It felt like his body wouldn't let up, like there was something... _angering_ him that he needed to get passed. That bitter chemical overlay just making things worse. He _hated_ that smell masking up the sweet scent of his Omega's heat. Eventually, his Omega leaned in closer, held in tighter, purring more profoundly. The souring scent and feeling on him, the ache in his balls leaving. And his Omega taking a different scent, sweeter, better, softer, creamier, and suddenly he didn't mind the nasty bitterness as much anymore. They were drenched in sweat, in each other, and still, he couldn't get enough.

 

He couldn't even remember the breaks they took or the people who'd left food and water for them. Couldn't remember how he managed to get his Omega to eat, let alone eat something himself.

 

By the time the heat and rut broke, they had knotted one last time, the Omega on his side and breathing heavy with Steve behind him, holding him tight as he poured himself into him for the last time. He could tell the man had his head back. Had seen it in his eyes, the way they changed, the way he blushed... before he glanced off and they'd changed positions. Steve was ready to feel hatred, rage, anything—.

 

“Bucky...”

 

It was spoken so quietly, softly. With those same heavy breaths finally starting to calm down. The bond was mostly numb, with a hint of worry and relief, but still, there were no sparks of anger in any form. It was the first word the other man spoke to him. And it took Steve a while to realize it was a name... maybe a nickname?

 

_'James Buchanan Barnes.'_

 

The name the man gave him echoed in his mind, sounding so different from the one Fury had given him. _'Bucky...'_ It took him a moment to manage his response.

 

“Steve...”

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am filthy and yes, I have been rolling around in the mud...
> 
> I thought you knew this...
> 
> I wonder what Bucky's thinking... hm.


	3. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heat and rut end.
> 
> Steve now knows the man's name.
> 
> And deals with the after the fact mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, i think i'll stop with the spoils now, i just get excited, you know what i'm sayin'~
> 
> lol, it's gonna be periodic posts from here, probably every 3 days, haven't decided yet as i am a bit ahead and have ideas flowing well enough, but i did wanna give just a bit more of the story before then for funsies and i think 3 chapters is sufficient
> 
> anyways~ hope you gais enjoy~ <3

.oOo.

 

Steve woke up, still wrapped around the other man who was soundly sleeping. Sticky and tacky from their activities, kinda gross and—... still inside of him. Though now that his dick was flaccid...

 

He pulled out. Hearing his mate stir slightly and give a small gasp, but stay asleep. Cum oozed out and he winced. Still hardly able to believe what had happened was real...

 

He sat up, rubbing his face a bit. He saw food in the corner on a small cart. A message left, likely Maria or Nat, as well as clean clothes. For the both of them. He walked over to read the note. The room was still heady with the scents of sex and the two of them. The note told him to get changed and go down to the meeting room, with directions on how to get there.

 

He wasn't hungry, so he took a shower instead in the small bathroom connected to the room. When he stepped out, his mate—... Bucky... was still asleep. He grabbed some clean clothes, a uniform, he realized. A bit dressy, not for fighting. So, formal meeting. He took a breath. Glancing over at Bucky before he used his key card to leave. The room would lock automatically.

 

People didn't say anything to him as he walked through the halls, but he could feel them staring. Hear the whispers he couldn't care enough to make out the words of.

 

Steve Rogers was an Alpha... and while he was sure that thought thrilled some of the brass, who his mate was, who he'd chosen to mate... certainly didn't. The thought absolutely _terrified_ him. He'd always expected to be the Omega, worried about being rejected by his mate for what he'd become.

 

He was sure the situation would have been very different if that were the case though. Had Bucky been his Alpha... he would've been shot on sight. Not a single chance for the mating to occur. It's easier to deal with a demure, crying Omega than it is to deal with a livid, aggressive Alpha.

 

He took a breath when he got to the door, his own heart beating in his ears.

 

.oOo.

 

Fury, Maria, and Natasha.... A few men in suits he didn't recognize, didn't care to, some more in lab coats.

 

The first thing one of them seemed to do was check under his collar. Steve tensed his jaw as they did.

 

“No bite.”

 

“Good.”

 

There was silence before anyone spoke.

 

“Are you aware, Captain Rogers, that this man you've just mated is a terro—.”

 

“Perfectly.”

 

The man gave a humorless laugh. “And you still made the decision to mate him... He will be going on trial for his crimes, anywhere from 7 to 9 months from now.”

 

And there was the reason they didn't want him pregnant...

 

“Then I guess I have that long to find out who he really is.”

 

The man gave a sneer. “See that you do.”

 

He barely listened as they sat down and started speaking. Mostly about the crimes his mate had committed. They had files and documents for him to not read over and sign. Likely not expecting him to do the opposite.

 

“I'm not signing this.”

 

“Captain—.”

 

“It says I can't let him bite me back—.”

 

“Only until after he is tried and given a sentence.”

 

Like he's already guilty.

 

“He's my _mate_.”

 

“And should you testify, we need your head clear and free of his influence. That you bit him is to keep him docile and at your side.”

 

Because they wanted Steve to testify against him. In their minds, he didn't have a chance, and this delay was just a minor hiccup.

 

Steve took a breath. He went through the documents once more, signing the ones that weren't ludicrous and highlighting and crossing off things on the ones that were and setting them aside.

 

“He's still my mate... amend these, and I'll sign them. I'll choose his lawyer.”

 

He got up, resigned. Just wanting to get back to Bucky and not caring or stopping when he heard them call him back.

 

There were documents regarding breeding him, even suggestions to remove his reproductive system. None of which treated him like a human being.

 

None of which Steve planned on giving his written consent on, as his Alpha. To them, probably the only one that mattered, even though he'd thought they'd gotten rid of this backward way of thinking and treating Omegas like second class citizens.

 

.oOo.

 

When he got back, Bucky wasn't there. But the food had been eaten and the other set of clothes was gone. He turned to see another one of those doctors.

 

“Captain Rogers, your mate has been moved to the main med ward.”

 

He sighed but gave a nod and followed. When he got there, Bucky was laying down on a medical bed... drugs again, keeping him barely lucid. They probably thought it necessary to keep him from getting aggressive. He was staring at his wrist, which was currently stitched up.

 

“Ah, Captain Rogers, just in time. We've taken the liberty of adding a S.H.I.E.L.D. issue tracker and monitor into the wrist of your mate. This will make it much easier to keep control of him. As we suspected, his reproductive capability shows both high compatibility with yourself, and a high probability of pregnancy, even with contraception. Condoms would be the preference to prevent such, and will be provided at your request, however, as you already know, they've urged me to suggest removing his uterus. With your permission. This would ensure he will not carry—.”

 

Steve could feel the anger in him rising, rolling off of him. “Why are you talking about him like he isn't here?”

 

That seemed to surprise the doctor and make him realize that Steve wasn't exaclty liking what he was hearing. “With all due respect, Captain, as a newly bonded couple, there will be a strong urge to breed between the two of you. If he is a victim of torture, it is likely he's reverted to baser instincts, and that urge may be stronger with him, apart from the factor of your enhancements. It would also mean his mind would not be stable enough to handle caring for a child. Now wouldn't be the best time—.”

 

“They already asked and _urged_ me to give consent to do the same thing. I'm not making that choice for him. I _can't_. He's his own person, and you want me to agree to let you _sterilize_ him? Against his will?”

 

The doctor seemed taken aback before reading that Steve wasn't going to budge on this subject. He spoke his next words more carefully.

 

“The other option... is a strong hormonal implant, that can be placed in roughly the same spot on his wrist. It will prevent him from breeding but we will have to closely monitor him, as his metabolism may burn through it much faster than it would a normal person.”

 

He failed to mention it would also decrease the fertility of a person, caused mental instability, and contained abortive chemicals as a failsafe, should everything else fail.

 

Steve, all too unaware of this, simply tensed his jaw but nodded. He moved to wait outside, willing his breath to calm down. He saw Nick walking down the hall, towards him.

 

“Heard you had a lot of fun with him...”

 

Steve glanced over and his nostrils flared up again.

 

"Their words, not mine."

 

Nick seemed apologetic and Steve calmed down but gave a wince. Then he realized there was still one th—. “How long was I out...”

 

“10 days.”

 

Wait... _what?_

 

“10... _days_?”

 

“I didn't stutter, did I?”

 

Steve didn't really have a response for that.

 

“They were expecting it to last 2 to 3 at most with your enhancements. 5 to match the average. That it lasted so long has them worried you two might have sweated out and burned through the preventatives they gave you. Though they wouldn't tell you that, I'm sure. That's why they're being so pushy.”

 

“And they really don't want him...”

 

“Not for the trial. Especially not for the jury. As impartial as I'm sure they'll try to make those people be. They'd prefer you find someone else to breed in all actuality. I wouldn't be surprised if they tried to fling someone at you with that mission, sometime later. The less attached you are to him, the better their chances of convicting him are.”

 

“I-I wouldn't—.”

 

“I said the same thing. That they really don't know Steve Rogers if they think they'd be able to get him to cheat on his mate. Just a heads up...”

 

“Thanks...”

 

“Natasha's over in the north ward, she has more paperwork and headaches for you, if you're up for it.”

 

Steve sighed but went, whatever it was, he'd deal with it.

 

And as it turned out, it wasn't nearly as bad as he was expecting.

 

“Why a house?”

 

“Because they're being strangely generous... if I had to guess, likely because it's isolated, small town, spaced out, and they can keep a closer eye on him when you're away on missions. It's also a safe house. Keeps anyone else from getting to him. Off the record. So his location and yours won't get into the wrong hands.”

 

Steve sighed. That at least was a small comfort. It also meant they at least recognized Hydra viewed him as a pet. He hadn't spoken with Sam since this whole thing started, but he figured his friend was worried.

 

“Sam wants to see you.”

 

“Can you read minds?”

 

“Just faces...”

 

Despite himself, he gave a half smile to Nat.

 

“I take it this means you won't be calling that nurse...”

 

“She wasn't a nurse to begin with... where is Sam?”

 

“Waiting, he's your escort. You should go and get James—.”

 

“Bucky... he told me his name is Bucky...”

 

Her eyes widened for a moment before she continued speaking. She nodded. “You should go and get him...”

 

Steve didn't think much on her using his mate's first name. Wondering if she wanted to avoid calling him as his Omega or if she simply wasn't sure if Steve would plaster his last name on the man. When he got back to him, he was staring and scratching at his wrist until he noticed Steve. Eyes widening.

 

Steve hadn't noticed what a beautiful silver they were... like ice on its best day. He clung to Steve, though not quite as eagerly as before. And without all the commotion or brain rattling pheromones, it was so much easier to see how pretty he was. Long brown hair, washed clean, chiseled jaw and well defined cheekbones, cleft in his chin, big, beautiful eyes. He was cute... apart from handsome and he was _very_ handsome, but also... he was really fuckin' cute... and it was hard to see how a face so innocent could have done so much... damage...

 

Steve wanted to believe his mate was someone good... someone worth all this trouble at heart. He hoped... but he didn't know him... and if he was, he just felt all the more guilty for what was happening...

 

They got to Sam, and he felt Bucky tense in the presence of another Omega.

 

Sam gave a sigh. “You know... I was hoping I imagined it...”

 

Steve didn't say anything. The smile he tried to give fell flat in light of the situation.

 

_'So was I...'_

 

Sam gave a gesture for them to follow and Steve kept his mate close.

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so it builds...
> 
> i found a mountain of onions, some serious drama llamas, and steve is pissed at me, i'm sure~
> 
> don't worry though
> 
> we'll get Bucky's perspective soon, hang in there~
> 
> <3<3<3


	4. A House is Not a Home.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve takes Bucky to the safehouse.
> 
> Communication never was his forte...
> 
> Instincts are a little overwhelming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my brain still hates certain number sequences and I am a needy as fuck attention whore so have this chapter a little bit early~
> 
> next one for sure though, every other other day~
> 
> . . .
> 
> mmmmmmmmmmmmaybe~

.oOo.

 

Steve checked for food the moment they got there. The fridge was stocked, but not well enough for two supersoldiers... He checked the pantry, the cabinets.

 

They'd filled the house with basic necessities, and nothing more. Bucky seemed very preoccupied with his wrist.

 

When Steve started hearing low growling and turned to see Bucky biting at it, he moved to stop him. He gently took his mate's hand and kissed the inside of his wrist, not really sure what else to do, but that seemed to work to get him to stop...

 

They had told him Bucky might fall on baser instincts as opposed to acting like a person. He'd been silent the whole time. And Steve wondered if he could even remember how to talk, apart from his name.

 

Steve focused on food, focused on other things. He left a stew on low heat to slow cook. Venison, for rich iron, hardy and earthy vegetables and yams to feed an overactive appetite. Bucky hadn't done much but watch him from afar and start nesting. Still not saying a word to him.

 

Steve was about to call out to let him know he'd be going out for more groceries and food when he noticed his mate had fallen asleep. Instead, he caught himself staring a moment. He looked so peaceful wrapped up in a blanket... bundled on the couch like that...

 

He opted to leave quietly instead. And was as quick as he could be with everything he needed. He tried not to panic when he got home and didn't see his mate. He could still feel him, lightly. He willed himself to calm down and scented the air. Then shook it off and brought everything in. He would have been alerted if Bucky had left the property. Even the house.

 

He wasn't expecting that when he finished up with the soup and put everything away, that he'd turn around to see his mate standing there, staring right at him.

 

It startled him. Bucky didn't make any noise when he walked, which was surprising because Steve had much better hearing than most people and his mate wasn't exactly a small or lightweight guy.

 

“Um... hi?”

 

Bucky didn't say anything.

 

“Did you... want some? I... um...” He was about to point out that he'd just finished making it, but the words got lost somewhere.

 

Bucky tilted his head before saying something in Russian that Steve didn't recognize, then pressed closer and skipped every formality possible, sticking his hand straight into Steve's pants and grabbing his member, which had been soft but was all too sensitive under his mate's touch.

 

Steve didn't want to say he started panicking but... well, kinda hard not to. He didn't want to suddenly push his mate away either, but he didn't know what to do. This certainly wasn't what he had been expecting.

 

“ _What are y—?_ ”

 

“Sex?”

 

He said it so innocently, Steve lost his train of thought and stared blankly for all of 2 minutes as it took him that long to start processing thoughts again. Did Bucky think that's what he was offering?

 

“N-no, _food._ I made some stew, did you want some of _that?”_

 

Bucky seemed to glance over his shoulder before giving Steve a curious look with a brow raised. And then shaking his head, speaking again but more slowly and softly. “Sex...?”

 

Oh... he _wanted—_... Steve felt a pang in his chest, slowly reaching down and removing his mate's hand from his pants by intertwining their fingers. This wasn't... did he actually want sex or was he just acting on instinct? Was this who he really was or was he still missing pieces of his mind? Steve knew it was likely the latter of the two... or if his mate had managed to get back to himself, he was still trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation. It wasn't likely he knew the implication or actually wanted Steve...

 

He took his hand and then the other, the metal one, and walked Bucky to the sink before turning on the water. He washed their hands together, making sure they were nice and clean before speaking.

 

“We can have... sex... if that's really what you want... but maybe, let's eat first?”

 

He seemed to contemplate the thought before nodding. And Steve almost gave a sigh of relief considering he hadn't eaten anything that day... unsurprisingly, he wasn't really that hungry though.

 

But Bucky seemed to be, which was a relief in a different way.

 

Still, Steve ate a lot slower than him. The soup turned out really good, amazing even. But Steve was still out of it, rolling the events of today and... just after the battle... over and over again in his mind. He only had a little bit left, but he really didn't want to eat anymore.

 

He looked up, noticing Bucky staring at him blankly, before looking back down and putting his spoon on the side. He couldn't eat anymore. He looked back up, noticing Bucky wasn't there and furrowed his brows.

 

“Buck—?!”

 

He felt something warm, wet and flat rub itself over his crotch and nearly hit his knees on the table. He quickly moved his chair back, to look under that table and see his mate and stare in shock. Bucky climbed up and sat himself in Steve's lap, while his Alpha was so stunned, he couldn't do anything.

 

He muttered something in Russian again, but this time, Steve did recognize the words. Something about him being too slow and he got the message when Bucky finished off the remaining soup for him before starting to move his hips in small circles to make sure his Alpha would be affected. Steve couldn't keep up, his breaths getting heavier. He didn't want to push Bucky off but—.

“Buck, stop—... _ha_... we need to—... we need to...”

 

He couldn't bring out the words with the movement in his lap, rubbing over his hardening length still trapped inside his pants. He didn't register the sudden shift, or really notice when it seemed... more _free_. He gasped a bit at the cold metal touch but could hardly think until he felt smooth, velvety slick flesh envelope him with a near vice grip.

 

His Omega encouraged him to wrap his arms around his waist, and before he knew it, he was managing small thrusts to meet his mate, bouncing in his lap, fucking himself down on his Alpha's cock.

 

And it wasn't until he'd knotted him and Bucky was lightly purring and releasing that same, soft, satisfied and spent Omega scent that he'd realized his mistake. He was careful, when he picked him up, still tied together. And somehow managed to take them both to bed, still incredibly freaked out and completely confused.

 

He woke up, about an hour later to the same horny Omega, this time with a different wet hole around his cock. Steve would've never even asked for his mate to put his mouth on his cock, but Bucky _really_ didn't seem to have any care for formalities... or anything apart from having sex it seemed. Steve realized what time it was, and realized they had to shower and get to sleep, but Bucky seemed to have a one track mind.

 

It was like his heat hadn't ended, but he acted differently then. There were no whimpers or whines this time, and Steve didn't have very many baser responses from rut. Not much of an urge to dominate. Still, he had to get them to bed. They said he'd be called on another mission soon, which meant he had to be prepared for it.

 

He'd managed to usher his Omega over to the shower, but ended up frustrated enough to fuck him from behind against the shower wall. And Bucky seemed all too satisfied with himself for it. Thankfully, he didn't knot him that time.

 

Getting him to brush his teeth was also a hassle, because it was like he knew this would mark the end of their day and they'd do some actual sleeping afterwards. Steve had to have Bucky sitting in front of him, looking at the mirror with the brush ready trying to run it over his teeth. He ended up letting out a whine of his own before Bucky even thought about giving in, and even then, when he finally took the brush, he was very slow to finish.

 

He did calm down though, tiredness finally setting in for him. Steve was surprised. Bucky wanted to be cuddled... to be close to him. He still wouldn't speak but he...

 

Steve thought his mate might hate him for the sudden bond. But Bucky didn't... and holding him close... His mate fell asleep quickly, so Steve tried to drift off with him.

 

.oOo.

 

Steve couldn't sleep. He'd been trying for the past few hours. The same thoughts of bonds and mates and the entire  _shit show_ that this was.

 

Most fated couples took time before they decided to bond nowadays. And sometimes... they even decided not to.

 

It can take anywhere from 12 to 72 hours before heat and rut will hit after a pair has fully presented.

 

Tony had spent his heat with Pepper helping him... while Bruce had spent his rut alone after they met. The only thing having delayed the process had been the battle.

 

The fact that Tony was dating Pepper had made the situation complicated, but Bruce had said it was better that way, and then... then, Steve had felt the pain in his words and wished there had been something he could do about it.

 

Back then, couples would give in to their ruts and heats, and bond after the first meeting. Hole themselves up for a few days, and everything would be just peachy when they emerged. It was idolized. The idea. And Steve bought into it, never really thought about it, hoped he'd have a nice Alpha one day...

 

Turns out, things weren't always as nice as they seemed. Sometimes the Alphas would force their partners or vice versa with how hard it was to resist each other. And if one party wasn't happy in the bond, they would always shy away from the other. And sure, he knew about that, knew it could happen. Typically did, when one soulmate was in a prior relationship, which was why relationships for people who were marked were often discouraged.

 

Still... he never expected it, the system... to be as... _broken_... as it was.

 

The idea of a soulmate was supposed to be a happy thing... someone fate chose to be your other half... your perfect match... so that you wouldn't have to be alone. Some people didn't want fate to choose for them... and others... others lost their mates...

 

Sam lost his Alpha.

 

Clint lost his Omega, and they'd all felt that...

 

Natasha never got to know who her Omega was...

 

Tony and Bruce decided it was for the best they stayed apart.

 

Thor had his mate, but finding him had nearly started a war with his people, and their continued separation had nearly made him go crazy and let him fall into the hands of a madman, more than willing to take advantage of a weakened mind.

 

It made the whole thing seem like a promise that couldn't be grasped... like a taunt for a happy ending that wouldn't really be there...

 

And he never even expected to be the Alpha.

 

After 70 years trapped in ice, he never thought he'd find his mate... would've expected whoever it was to be long dead... That was why Natasha had been so persistent in finding him someone else...

 

He wondered how his mate felt about it. He seemed... so peaceful... when he slept. And right, now, all it seemed like he cared about was sex... but maybe that was just to distract himself. Even if his mate was the monster everyone thought he was... what the hell was he supposed to do?

 

It took him a long while more before he was able to fall asleep, holding his Omega close. Even then, he silently cried himself to sleep.

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~<3


	5. Invasive Eyes and Ears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is alone and reflects on the previous few days.
> 
> His Alpha is good.
> 
> S.H.I.E.L.D. cannot be trusted...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have serious issues with numbers and sequencing, i'm not spoiling you, don't you judge me...
> 
> I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM, OKAY.
> 
> *squints*
> 
> next time for sure... i think... mostly...

.oOo.

 

When Bucky woke up, his mate wasn't there. The house was empty too, which meant he had gone somewhere.

 

His mate... his _Alpha_.

 

The man on the bridge... who'd taken him from Hydra. Stolen him... _freed him_.

 

His breath hitched.

 

He was bonded now... to that man. To _Steve_.

 

And for the first time in a long time, it felt like his head was clearing. The thought of returning to Hydra made his stomach turn and ache. Steve was... _good_. And Hydra was... Hydra was...

 

He remembered running from them... fear... pain...  _and every time, they—_...

 

He doesn't remember enough... but he remembers _enough_.

 

Hydra wouldn't be able to get him now, wouldn't be able to control him... now that he had an Alpha... there was a... wedge.

 

It's almost funny. He was not the Alpha stud Hydra had painted him to be, tried to create and use. They tried to make him present without his mate and it hadn't worked. They put him through numerous exams trying to find some semblance of a sign for his presentation and found nothing.

 

They'd tried to force him to breed others, Omegas and Beta women... Whether stolen or volunteered...

 

He didn't want to... he'd tried not to. The reaction to the drugs they gave him was always much different than expected. Where they wanted aggression, he was withdrawn, timid. They would give the order and his instincts would refuse. So they—... He cut the thoughts away. He was relieved, every time it had failed.

 

 _All of it_ made sense now... he wasn't the Alpha. And his Alpha certainly wasn't anything expected for an Alpha. Anything Hydra would want. He wasn't the aggression driven, domineering Alpha most would expect.

 

Steve was kind... shy... sweet. Fearful. Guilty.

 

Bucky wasn't sure why Steve felt guilt, but he could feel it, almost too well through the bond. Maybe he loved someone else... or felt guilty for having had to bond his enemy... Bucky hoped it was the latter. But regardless, Steve was... _good_.

 

Loving...

 

And Bucky felt guilty for using him to get away from Hydra, hiding behind his Alpha like the meager Omega he was. Steve would keep him _safe_. Protected. And for that, he had to make sure his Alpha was satisfied with him.

 

Sex was easy enough... enjoyable... with Steve.

 

He didn't want to be thrown away. He didn't want to be found by Hydra again...

 

It didn't stop him from feeling sick for what he was doing to his Alpha.

 

Eventually, it was enough to pull him out of bed and have him vomit into the toilet. He felt better when he did, but it was strange... He looked down at his wrist.

 

He knew they put in a tracker and a monitor for his health and heart rate. The other thing... possible birth control. He wasn't coherent when they put them in, was barely coherent for the last one, but he remembered his Alpha... so perhaps he didn't want to breed Bucky just yet... or at all.

 

Maybe that was... better.

 

He ignored the pang in his chest. He should check the house for bugs and cameras.

 

Steve trusted them. Bucky did not.

 

Because he knew there were still Hydra agents in the ranks of S.H.I.E.L.D.. Hydra knowledge hidden deeper than they searched. They'd been weakened, revealed in part, but they wouldn't be cleaned out until S.H.I.E.L.D. was done away with completely.

 

He found at least 2 bugs in every room, which wasn't many but also too much. He piled them on the dining table. Most of the cameras were outside, watching the windows. There was one in their bedroom, which was... creepy, and another by the front and back door inside. He rearranged what little furniture they had to block the view of the ones outside. He disabled the ones indoors.

 

By then, he was hungry.

 

He went to check for food. There was leftover soup... or he could make something fresh. It was already midday. Still no sign of his Alpha... but maybe he would appreciate a homecooked meal.

 

He hadn't cooked in a _long_ time... but there was one thing he could remember that was at least much... easier...

 

.oOo.

 

By the time Steve got home, he smelled something... very good...

 

But also burning plastic.

 

He ran in after a moment, heading towards the kitchen, noticing Bucky standing there with a fire going in a large cast iron skillet.

 

His eyes widened and he ran over, immediately taking the skillet off the stove and running it under water. Bucky didn't seem to react much but stared at him. Once the steam cleared, he was able to see what was in the pan.

 

Melted... he wasn't sure... but if he had to guess, three looked like they _used_ to be cameras, the others... a mass of small microphones...

 

 _'Bugs.'_ His mind supplied. Bucky must have...

 

He sighed. He hadn't even thought about that. He turned to see his mate. “Buck...”

 

Bucky ignored him, instead moving to take whatever he had put in the oven, out. Now that the smell of burning plastic had settled, there was just the scent of whatever he was making. Steve was quiet, watching his mate.

 

Bucky had made... a casserole of some sort, with something similar to a pie crust topping. It was very simple looking, but it smelled amazing. He checked it before up and staring at Steve again. After a while, Steve wanted to scream at him to use his words, but when Bucky blushed and glanced off, he wondered if there were very many words he _could_ give. Steve helped him set up some plates, the kitchen was a mess but they'd worry about it later.

 

It was a simple casserole, lots of vegetables and meat under the crust, a simple sauce pulling it together. And a filler veggie, cabbage, he realized. It was the type of the thing a family trying to feed as many mouths as they could without stretching their wallets would make... Something easy, but good...

 

Steve finished his helping faster than he expected. And when he looked up, he noticed Bucky about half way done with his and crying. He was quiet a moment, not really sure what to do.

 

“Bucky?”

 

His mate just shook his head and wiped the tears but finished eating. He didn't take another helping, but he wanted to be held right afterward, and Steve found himself having a quiet moment with his Omega, wondering what was running through his head. He remembered them telling him to get information from his mate. Fury telling him to try and pull the good memories from him... that those would reveal a lot more than the bad. Depending on what Bucky considered to be what. When he spoke it was very soft...

 

“What made you cry, Bucky?”

 

“I... don't know...”

 

Steve's breath hitched. He hadn't heard his mate speak much, but every time he heard that voice... he wished there were more for Bucky to say...

 

“Did you... remember something?”

 

He shook his head before he started crying again and Steve held him tighter.

 

“My... mum... she used to make that... for us...”

 

He had a light accent... like he'd learned English well, but wasn't used to speaking it. Steve was quiet a moment.

 

“I don't know why it... hurts...”

 

“You miss her...”

 

Steve said it all too quickly... his mate held on tighter.

 

“That's... okay... I miss my ma too half the time...”

 

Bucky clung even tighter before really starting to sob against Steve, hiccups and all. He must have made it from light memory and not really remembered anything until he'd started eating it...

 

It felt so strange... comforting someone he didn't really know... but he just... he didn't want Bucky to feel any pain...

 

Eventually, they both fell asleep. When he woke up, Bucky wasn't there. He looked around for his mate before noticing him in the bathroom, staring out of the small window. He got up and walked over there to see what it was but didn't see anything. Bucky looked at him as he came over, then at the shower, and back out the window. He looked at Bucky a moment, who had gone back to staring at the shower, like he wanted to take one but something was stopping him.

 

His brows furrowed when he remembered the melted cameras and bugs. He took a closer look and after a moment, noticed a small camera peering in, outside of the window. He felt rage setting in, not realizing he started growling until Bucky let out a whine. It was one thing to set a boundary, it was another to set cameras where they would need privacy. He flushed, recalling what they did last night in open view of the camera, suddenly embarrassed.

 

This needed answers. He went outside to remove the cameras he could find, and any bugs that were outdoors, Bucky had gotten all that was indoors.

 

.oOo.

 

“You wanna tell me what this is?”

 

Steve had dumped the mass of cameras and bugs, partially destroyed, onto Fury's desk. His boss furrowed his brows and Maria, who was next to him seemed surprised.

 

“Precaution and surveillance, I assume.”

 

“Invasion of privacy. So much for _off the record._ ”

 

“Where did you find these?”

 

“That damn home they put—... they put me and... Bucky... in.”

 

“No, I figured that, I mean what places. We had the home surveyed before it was approved, this was never discussed.”

 

Steve sighed. “He found most of them, some a them made sense. At the doors, and watching the escapable windows if they were trying to make sure he stayed put. But in our _bedroom_? Watching the shower? And peering _into_ the house from the windows, instead of just watching the outside of them, which would have been more than fine? He found at least 2 bugs in every room. That's a violation of the 5th, forgetting that this is a man who doesn't even remember himself. It's one thing to make sure he doesn't leave the perimeter, _this_ is going too far.”

 

Nick seemed to stay quiet for a moment as Steve tried to calm himself down. “You seem upset.”

 

“Oh, I'm _passed_ upset.”

 

“Steve...”

 

He turned. Maria had spoken up.

 

“I understand your concern, Rogers. I'll be the first to tell you, I didn't know about this, nor did I approve it. Which can mean one of two things, possibly both, and neither good. I'll make some calls and have Agent Romanoff on this.”

 

“And what do you expect me to do?”

 

“Nothing, for now. Just keep playing house with your new mate until we can figure this out...”

 

Steve tensed his jaw but said nothing.

 

“Something happened.”

 

Steve was silent another moment. “He cooked me something... cried when it made him remember his mother...”

 

Fury didn't say anything but nodded. Steve left.

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear sweet Bucky, who are you really?
> 
> <3


	6. House Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time goes by much quicker with distractions.
> 
> Steve just wants to do right by his mate and give him the space he needs. 
> 
> But he's still not sure of everything that is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every other other~ day... just like i said
> 
> totally didn't get off kilter and post 2 extra chapters because numbers bother me.
> 
> Nope. No sirree~. You're all crazy and imagined it.

.oOo.

 

When he got home, he really wasn't expecting to have his lips crash with his mate's the first thing when he opened the door.

 

It took him a few seconds to realize Bucky had kissed him, and a few more to get over the why and return it when he hesitated. It was chaste and unpracticed, like he wasn't used to doing this or had never done it before. Steve hadn't done much either, but he moved his lips against his mate's to relax him into it, to relax himself.

 

After a moment, it got easier, and he could hear the soft purrs escaping his mate. He swiped his tongue between Bucky's lips, begging for entrance, and Bucky parted his in a gasp, maybe not realizing his response by the surprise he gave when Steve dove in and deepened the kiss, pulling his mate closer to him. The purring faltered a bit but then got stronger.

 

Bucky pressed closer when Steve was about to pull away, instead bringing both arms around his Alpha's neck. Steve's hands slid down his waist and over his ass, squeezing lightly before moving just onto his thighs and encouraging him to give a small jump. He was heavier than expected, but Steve caught him, holding him up with his legs wrapped around his Alpha's waist.

 

The next thing Steve knew, he was looming over Bucky on their bed, a small bounce from the beautiful Omega he'd just dropped there. He had a lovely, bright red flush burning over his cheeks.

 

It seemed like the next few steps were a blur, and by the time he registered what was going on, they were having sex. That same beautiful Omega moving above him, a gentle hand on his hip in encouragement, the other on his thigh in support. That slick, tight hole Steve was starting to recognize but couldn't seem to get enough of. He pulled him down for another kiss and flipped them over as he felt his mate falter and cum. He could feel his knot forming, which meant he wasn't far behind.

 

By the end of it, he did knot him, holding the Omega close with them both on their sides. Listening to his soft breaths and feeling them on his collarbone. Running his fingers through soft brunet hair as he pressed a kiss to his forehead. Bucky's legs were still tightly wound around his waist, his arms hugging Steve tightly.

 

Steve had so many thoughts running through his head... so many questions. But Bucky didn't seem to want to speak, and Steve didn't really want to ask, knowing it might hurt him. Knowing there was so much pain Bucky was already hiding... They spent the next few weeks living simply, sharing meals and quiet moments, and mostly having sex.

 

It was easiest... for both of them. Bucky seemed eager, and Steve didn't know how to deny him, not really. So he just... let himself get lost in it. To give Bucky something, rather than nothing. There were no bugs or cameras to watch them and the issue hadn't been brought up, which meant that Steve was never supposed to find those because they weren't _supposed_ to be there. Sex seemed to be Bucky's focus without that lingering. But he still had followed every other rule they set.

 

Steve gave him as much as he wanted.

 

When he woke up to the sound of Bucky vomiting one morning, he started to worry. When he realized it was a consistent thing, for Bucky to be sick at least every few days, he wondered how something like that had slipped passed him...

 

.oOo.

 

After about a month of playing house, they had Steve sit down and confronted him about his progress with his mate. He'd just come back from a mission.

 

“Have you made progress with your mate? Has he given you information regarding his serving Hydra?”

 

_Has he given you information proving guilt?_

 

Steve's jaw tensed at the hidden question. “No.”

 

“And what, pray tell, have you been doing this entire time with him, Captain Rogers?”

 

A light way of him saying those cameras should've stayed in place.

 

“Mostly having sex.”

 

There were a few gasps as some of them scribbled some things down, whispers amongst them. At this point, Steve couldn't bring himself to care. The knowing raised brow on Fury' s face and the smirk Agent Romanoff hid said a lot.

 

The man seemed like he wanted to give a sneer but didn't really have a reason to at the honest answer, so he changed the subject.

 

“We have reports that say your mate has been sick?”

 

Steve was silent a moment.

 

“We had an agent watch over him during the time you were gone.”

 

Meaning not under Fury then...

 

“He throws up, every so often. He hasn't talked to me about it...”

 

The man stared, then raised a brow. “There are consequences, should he—.”

 

“That's not up to me...”

 

The man gave pause and a frown. He seemed to write something down before speaking again. “Get him checked.”

 

Steve gave a nod before they dismissed him.

 

.oOo.

 

When he got home, he found his mate sleeping. Bucky had been doing a lot of that lately... like he couldn't keep up, and it just made Steve worry more.

 

Director Fury said he'd send a doctor with a house visit from Agent Hill to make sure his mate was okay. Steve went on ahead so he could settle Bucky before they got there.

 

He held his hand close to Bucky's forehead, moving it through his hair when Bucky pressed into that same hand. Steve gave a slight smile when he saw his mate open his eyes and look up at him.

 

“Hey... they're sending a doctor to check on you... they wanna make sure everything's okay. Should be here soon, do you wanna sleep some more?”

 

Bucky seemed to close his eyes again before opening them fully and rubbing his face. He let go of the pillow he'd been holding and sat up. He still spoke very few words, but he'd been more comfortable with Steve.

 

“Shower...”

 

Steve gave a nod, walking his mate over. He stayed at the door before reading the look the Omega gave him and joined him. They hardly heard the doorbell ring, and Steve was really glad, once again, he hadn't knotted Bucky in the shower. He got out and dressed as quick as he could, not really bothering to dry himself as he ran to the door. Bucky didn't seem to care much to put on proper clothes, simply taking one of Steve's slightly larger shirts (which really wasn't much since the Alpha wore shirts that were too tight for him anyway) and a pair of boxers.

 

He waited in their room until Steve had led them back there. He tensed up when he saw the doctor.

 

Steve noticed. Immediately gluing himself to Bucky's side and taking his hand, squeezing lightly for reassurance. The doctor seemed to give pause before speaking.

 

“We'll start with a blood test. You've been eating well, Mr. Barnes. Yes?”

 

When Bucky simply stared instead of responding, Steve got the picture. “As far as I can tell, he's been eating well. More than me sometimes...”

 

The doctor seemed to get annoyed but moved to speak to Steve. “And does he vomit after every meal, at specific points of day, at certain scents or—.”

 

“No, it... it's every so often... it seems kinda random.”

 

“Mmhmm.” He wrote a few things down before moving to take the sample. “Is there anything else, out of the ordinary?”

 

Steve looked at Bucky but he seemed to be paying attention to the doctor, still not speaking. “He... he's been sleeping more lately...”

 

“Sexual habits, sensitivity?”

 

“Um... is that really necessary?”

 

“For what we are checking, yes.”

 

Bucky gave a squeeze back to let Steve know it was okay to tell and the Alpha took a breath before speaking. “He's more sensitive... but he's had a strong libido from the start, so I wouldn't know about that...”

 

He felt Bucky tense up once more seeing the doctor check his chest. He'd been especially sensitive there lately.

 

“Mmhmmm... and the only method of birth control is still the implant?”

 

Steve sighed but gave a nod.

 

The doctor asked for Bucky to stand before putting him on a scale and taking his weight. Bucky had gained about 10 pounds since, but that was good because he was considered underweight before. He was heavy for his height, but it was mostly because of the arm and metal grafted to his spine. He then moved to take the small kit he'd brought and test the sample. After a few minutes, he muttered something under his breath.

 

“May I speak with Mr. Barnes privately?”

 

From the way Bucky tensed up and squeezed Steve's hand without looking toward the doctor, it was a no. “Whatever you need to say to my mate, you can say to me. He's still not... comfortable...”

 

The doctor seemed to grimace without wanting it to be noticed but gave a nod.

 

“When did the vomiting start?”

 

“Second day I got here...”

 

Steve was quiet when he heard his mate speak, just as surprised by the answer. The doctor seemed to mutter something else under his breath. Steve turned back to him.

 

“Is that—?”

 

“It would be too soon. And the results are negative. They suggest something else. Perhaps it is simply a side effect of drugs given to him by Hydra. It is possible he is still detoxing.”

 

He suddenly seemed... dismissive. Steve noticed Bucky frown.

 

“But it's... it's been a month? Would it really take that long?”

 

“Even so, we do not know what Hydra used or if his nonorganic arm could hold or provide additional doses. I do not have the equipment to test such a thing here. I can prescribe a few things to help with his nausea, but I would suggest taking him down to the facility.”

 

Bucky seemed to tense up again. Steve gave a nod.

 

“They've granted permission for him to leave?”

 

Maria spoke up. “In lighter news, yes. He's been on good behavior, so as long as that continues, he's free to explore within a 10 mile radius. To travel to and from the facility, he'll still need an escort, but he won't have to be holed up here for all of his time if he doesn't want to. He will have a curfew to follow, but he's not under house arrest anymore, which is progress.”

 

Fury was pulling as many strings as he could then... Steve gave a nod and a sigh. It was progress, at least. Bucky seemed to relax but only slightly. He didn't relax fully, even when the doctor and Maria were gone.

 

“Buck...”

 

“That man... I remember him...”

 

Steve's eyes widened. “But that—.”

 

“He's Hydra...”

 

“A—... are you sure?”

 

Bucky nodded. “He was lying. The arm doesn't have any of that, and even if it did, they'd already have me back or my metabolism would've burnt through it within the first week... they want me alone... something else... is making me sick. I'd rather not take what they give me.”

 

“Buck—.”

 

“You've hurt them... but as long as S.H.I.E.L.D. sticks around, they still have the upper hand...”

 

Steve was quiet another moment and nodded. “If you want... we can try it a different way... finding out... you could be—.”

 

Bucky nodded. “They're likely to send out scouts.”

 

“Stick to public areas. I'll be right back.”

 

Getting a pregnancy test for his mate was surprisingly easy, and also difficult. He picked a few, just to be sure. Waiting had been the hardest part for both of them. When they all came up negative, Bucky let out a breath of relief.

 

“You're... happy?”

 

“Relieved...”

 

Bucky didn't miss the look on his Alpha's face.

 

“Hydra wouldn't mind...”

 

Steve's eyes widened at the implication. He was silent another moment. “This is the most you've spoken since I met you...”

 

“I'm sorry...”

 

“N-no. Just... I like it... when you speak... I just... I wish you... had more to say to me... maybe not about this, but...”

 

“What... would you like to talk about?”

 

_'You...'_

 

Steve wanted to say it out loud, but the word got lost on him. Instead, he offered an open arm for his mate to come closer. Bucky did, quiet as Steve held him close, still wondering what that look had meant.

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are no agendas held in letting Bucky outside, are there?
> 
> Steeb, infinitely sentimental tree. You produce too much sap.
> 
> Heh.
> 
> ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


	7. Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hydra is becoming emboldened.
> 
> Bucky meets someone new...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
> 
> ~<3

.oOo.

 

They sent Steve out on more missions. It made staying home a bit more boring.

 

If they thought Bucky wouldn't notice the eyes watching him, they were mistaken. Normally harmless. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents keeping a distant eye.

 

At least one Hydra in their ranks, he was sure. Because the Hydra agents always drew closer.

 

He knew this game. He stuck to public areas and made sure he was never alone. It made the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents fidgety, like they were expecting him to hurt someone, but it always singled out the Hydra ones because their behavioral patterns were different. They would always shy away at this, while the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents would draw closer to protect citizens if they needed to.

 

Eventually, they were growing to trust him, but the patterns stayed the same. It had been the same game for the past month. And Bucky was still sick. Steve had bought him a laptop. Both of them using it to catch up. He'd been looking for home remedies for the nausea, not trusting what the Hydra agent would've slipped him.

 

He was looking in the aisle with tea. The ones of ginger for nausea next to those meant to promote healthy pregnancy and milk production. He couldn't stop thinking about the face his Alpha had made when they'd taken the home tests. Did Steve... want pups?

 

With the threat of Hydra looming overhead, Bucky was hesitant at the thought... but Steve... Steve was _good._ His Alpha... he would protect them. After a while, he settled on the mid value teas that were on sale. Four. A cinnamon tea meant to be mixed with milk. A peppermint tea. And a ginger tea with added lemon peel, suggested to be had with honey. A lavender tea as well... for Steve, supposed to help with sleeping.

 

He felt three sets of eyes today, too close for comfort. He let one Beta woman go in front of him because she only had one item. She thanked him and then proceeded to give the cashier a sob story about how her husband left her because she couldn't have children. Bucky wasn't really sure how to respond but he had listened intently, and growled at the man behind him when he sought to hurry them. She seemed utterly broken but eventually finished paying for her item and left, but had also thanked Bucky again.

 

He could see one of the Hydra agents from the corner of his eye. He hadn't minded the delay because it brought more people to the line. More reasons they couldn't get to him directly. Which was better because he hadn't felt any S.H.I.E.L.D. eyes on him today.

 

It meant a possibility he didn't want to think about, so he made sure to stick around people.

 

He ended up in a park, sitting on a bench. Watching people go by and a child feeding ducks in front of him. He took another look at his wrist where the implant was. If Steve... did want children... A woman on her phone sat next to him on the bench and he stiffened.

 

She was loud regarding her conversation and Bucky stared at her. She didn't notice.

 

“No, I know. Can you believe it? I'm his mate. And this bitch already has a pup from some other Alpha who died, or whatever. But because I'm not willing to sacrifice my body and figure to pop out a couple for him, he's choosing her over me. Well, that's what it's gotta be, right? Alphas only think about impregnating people, like we're walking wombs or something. I bet if I offered, he'd come running back. You know what, I'm sure he will anyway, he can't be that stupid. She probably can't have pups anymore anyway, something about medical issues before her _'little miracle'_.”

 

He tuned out the rest of what she said, squeezing his eyes tight and trying not to think about the words he just heard, noticing a different set of eyes on him. The Hydra agents were dispersed and a good distance from him. If they got too close, that might start a commotion, and they'd proven already that they didn't want to blow their cover.

 

After a moment, he noticed the set of eyes was a child... Staring at him from right across the way. Someone else was watching her from a distance. He quietly got up after checking the time and sighing, Steve wouldn't be home soon, but with the particular scouts today, it was wiser he go home.

 

Someone bumped into him, making him drop his bag and the tea boxes inside. The man apologized but continued on his way. When he noticed the area he was in was a bit withdrawn with three figures getting closer, he tensed, but didn't move any faster. He recalled one of them having talked to that man. They stopped suddenly.

 

He realized why when he felt a much smaller figure run into him from behind.

 

She fell. But simply said 'ow' and looked up at him. She was cute, with medium toned skin, tanned like she got too much sun and dark. loosely curled hair... her eyes were familiar. An olive color and she smelled familiar too... like someone... someone Hydra had tried to have him kill repeatedly. He took a breath, he'd never been more thankful for someone being a stubborn son of a bitch than that one. He was about to reach out and help her when he heard someone call out to the child and run over. Picking her up to stand and dusting her off as he handed her back a... it was a stuffed animal but it looked like a toy... wolverine. What a strange choice...

 

Bucky got up quickly. “I'm sorry.”

 

The other man turned. He was wearing a hood, but Bucky could see the scarring on his skin, on his hands. He smelled like an Omega. “No, no. It's okay. She ran into you. She's just... too much energy. Like her Affa.”

 

“Like papa?”

 

“That's right baby girl, like your papa...”

 

Bucky gave a short nod before turning to walk away.

 

“I'm Wade, by the way. This is Ellie.”

 

“I should... go...”

 

Wade had taken his daughter's hand and walked closer to him. “Shouldn't go it alone if you have people following you.”

 

Bucky tensed.

 

“Saw what fell outta your bag, morning sickness? You smell kinda pregnant... but you also smell like abortives and a hormonal mess.”

 

Bucky shook his head. “I can't be—.”

 

“Let's just get you outta here, first. Here. Let's trade for a moment, good. Now loop your arm around mine and pretend you're not horrified by my scrotum skin.”

 

Bucky made a face, but held Ellie tight, she seemed content enough.

 

“That'll work. Now, baby girl, what's the drill when people are following?”

 

“Scouting!”

 

“Very good! Lead us home, sweet pea.”

 

“ _I_ need to go home.”

 

“Then lead her to your home, just tell her the directions, she'll maneuver us safely.”

 

Bucky tried not to panic as he did just that. And the little girl had some surprising skill in getting them to safety. He was surprised at himself for letting a stranger into his home but this man, whoever he was, seemed strange but not dangerous. He felt like he had known him somehow... Ellie had fallen asleep.

 

“Niiice place you got here. A little empty, simple, small if you are breeding, but... homey.”

 

“I am _not_ breeding.”

 

“You smell like you are.”

 

“I've been assured the opposite... who are you...?”

 

Wade seemed to stare at him a moment, as if gauging what he asked...

 

“No one important. Just a single Omega helping some random guy my daughter ran into.”

 

Bucky took a breath. There was more to it than that but they'd helped him get home and he wasn't going to press. Not on an Oma with a little girl. He offered them food which Wade happily ate too much of and had some tea himself. Quiet once they left and the little girl waved goodbye.

 

His smile fell once they were a distance away. He took a few breaths.

 

Hydra was getting closer. Bolder. If it weren't for luck, they might have captured him today. And with everything that happened—... what if Steve threw him away for not breeding?

 

His heart and head were pounding. They were tracking him. _They were tracking him._

 

He locked up the house, went and got a knife and went to the bathroom. He bit at his wrist a few times to see where each implant was. He needed to remove them. _All of them_. He couldn't risk losing his mate. He couldn't risk Hydra getting him back. He turned on the water to let it run as he dug the knife in, holding in the scream as he saw red mix with water and go down the drain. Pulling out the tracker had been easier than expected, but there was a long wire with it that brought plenty of pain and strange discomfort. The monitor was one small piece.

 

The hormonal implant—.

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :o


	8. Selfish...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve comes home.
> 
> What he finds...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here ya go, take a chapter... no it's not early, i don't know what you're talking about, and no, i'm not still having trouble with number sequences...
> 
> Onions~ onions for everyone~
> 
> heads up for grammatically awful translations, courtesy as always, of the lovely mistress google translate~
> 
> <3

.oOo.

 

When Steve got home, there wasn't the smell of cooking like he'd grown used to. Instead, there was a light scent of distress and faded blood. As well as light crying he could barely hear, simmered down to an occasional sniffle.

 

He immediately went to go find his mate, seeing him curled up with blankets. Nesting in the corner of their room, in the dark. Bucky stiffened up and wiped his eyes. There was bandaging around his wrist and his eyes were rimmed with red.

 

“Buck?”

 

He didn't say anything, looking away. Steve walked over and crouched down in front of him.

 

“Bucky, what happened?”

 

He pulled his wrist in as if to hide it from his Alpha but said nothing.

 

“Let me see...”

 

He tensed up a bit more.

 

“ _Please_...”

 

That seemed to make him deflate as he gave his hand over to his Alpha. Steve slowly undid the bandage work. His breath caught at what he saw. Several cuts along his wrist. Vertical, not horizontal. Most, and the deepest one on the side. One towards the center, close to the vein. He ran a hand over them. They were already healing but it would be slow going.

 

“Buck, please tell me—.”

 

“I wasn't trying to kill myself...”

 

Steve swallowed. Wanting to believe him. He felt the skin under. Noting it was more flat than before. The two implants on the side were gone. The tracker and monitor... but the circle toward the center was still there. The birth control, he realized. Bucky had taken out the other two, had tried to take out the last one.

 

“It was too close...”

 

Steve's breath hitched. He was... confused. “Buck... do you... want pups?”

 

Bucky didn't answer, looking away and curling in on himself. Steve thought for a moment. Quiet as he did.

 

“Did you... think this might be what's making you sick?”

 

Bucky uncurled a bit, looking at Steve with a worried expression and wide eyes. Steve must've taken that as a yes because he pulled Bucky in and held him tight. After a moment he spoke again.

 

“I'll see... what I can do about the implant... but... please don't hurt yourself like this again... we can talk... we _need_ to talk more, Buck... I can't—.”

 

He stopped himself from saying more, Bucky clung onto him.

 

“They sent Hydra scouts... three... they are getting desperate...”

 

Steve pulled back. Suddenly understanding all too well why Bucky had ripped out the tracker.

 

“S.H.I.E.L.D. must fall before they will stop...”

 

Steve didn't say anything but tensed. He stood, going to the sink to see both small pieces, the wire from the tracker stretched out and blood not fully washed away in the sink and still on them. He let the water run over them to clean them off and the sink before glancing back over at his mate. He wrapped the wire up around both pieces and went to go cook.

 

He made sure his mate ate something but Bucky didn't seem very hungry.

 

He held him through the night, but it didn't seem they would sleep much. Still shaken. Neither very sleepy...

 

Bucky just seemed so... vulnerable. And Steve wished there were a way to make it better. Some Alpha he was...

 

“I'm sorry...”

 

Those silver eyes looked at him in surprise.

 

“For what?”

 

“For not being here for you... for not being there... _then_... you're so desperate to get away from them _now_ , and if I'd just been there to save you—.”

 

“That is _not_ your fault.”

 

It was said with a hint of a growl and Steve flinched before Bucky calmed himself.

 

“It's actually a miracle they hadn't managed to get to me sooner...”

 

Steve looked up at him, wanting to ask how but not daring to say the words. Bucky gave a soft if sad smile and answered the question as if reading him.

 

“I grew up between countries. Russia... Romania... my family settled in Poland. But we would spend summers in Germany.”

 

Steve sat up a little straighter, attentive. Actually managing some words out.

 

“Where... were you originally from?”

 

Bucky gave a short huff of a laugh. “Isn't that a question. We were mutts among mutts. My mother was mostly Romanian, but my father was moslty Polish with an English last name. As far as I knew, our mixed heritage didn't help them settle, but mum always said it was a wandering heart. She mentioned that we even had a little bit of Romani in our blood... but she was never not proud of our blood... what about you?”

 

“Pure Irish...”

 

“Immigrated? You never speak Gaelic, and you don't have an accent.”

 

“ _Mar ní gá dom riamh, agus d'fhás mé suas Brooklyn díreach. An bhfuil uimhir ar do shon..._ ”

_(Because I never need to, and I grew up straight Brooklyn. Does a number on you...)_

 

He saw Bucky smile. A real one with eyes brightening and Steve found himself smiling right back.

 

“Takes _a lot_ to bring out the Irish nowadays... kids pick on you for being... different. Was always the runt and it was... easier to hide it... Ma had to... to keep her job half the time. Eventually, even when I learned to fight back, it just became second nature... After that, they had me learn to hide the Brooklyn too. Days on the USO tours meant I needed _impeccable_ grammar.”

 

“So you aren't just a simple American boy who speaks only one language.”

 

“Hey, I understand some a the Russian that slips out when we— _*cough*_... you know... and when you talk... just not all of it. Kinda pick some of it up around Natasha, but I'd learned a little before that...”

 

Bucky leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss at his adorable flush. “Well... most of it is swear words I was sure would have you cleaning my mouth with soap if you had understood them... So I hadn't expected you to...”

 

“Picking up languages was... easier after the serum... it kinda became a hobby when I was in Europe... French was a little bit more necessary because of one of my Howlies...”

 

Bucky seemed to light up at the mention before they both blurted out the same name.

 

“ **Dernier**.”

“ _Dernier_.”

 

Bucky quickly toppled him forward with a smirk.

 

“ _Tu prends des jolies filles avec ce français, soldat?_ ”

_(You pick up any pretty girls with that French, soldier?)_

 

“ _Pas n'importe lequel assez jolie pour attirer mon attention comme toi, poupée..._ ”

_(Not any around pretty enough to catch my eye like you, doll...)_

 

Bucky gave another smile and relaxed against him before resting his head on Steve's chest. “I wish I could have met you then...”

 

“I wish that too...”

 

They were quiet another moment.

 

“I met him, you know... before the war...”

 

He looked up at Steve, this time leaning on the Alpha as he spoke.

 

“When Germany started having issues, we spent a summer in France, instead... Dernier was the first person to tell me I was pretty... or suggest that I would be an Omega... apart from mum. Papa was livid. He wouldn't hear about his darling and strong son being anything other than an Alpha... just goes to show...”

 

“Mother knows best?”

 

“Something like that... she would never outright say it... but she always told me to be prepared for someone who would... want to protect me... even if I didn't need it.”

 

“My ma was the same way... I always got the feeling she knew... She was a nurse and would go on and on about how the doctors were idiots... for the longest time... I just thought she was tryin'ta make me feel better about it...”

 

“You... an _Omega_? Have you looked at yourself?”

 

“You're not so far off yourself, Buck... You shoulda seen me then... 90 pounds soakin' wet, frail like a strong wind coulda knocked me down on my best day... I was small... and delicate... and I woulda made a damn good Omega if I hadn't been sick nearly every day a my life... at least for the time period... the whole mechanics of it probably woulda killed me if I'd actually been one and met you then...”

 

“I wish I could have seen you then... just to see the look on everyone's face when you presented Alpha. I was happy... knowing Hydra had been wrong. They thought the same as papa... but had they been right...”

 

“Buck... you don't have to talk about Hydra if you don't want to...”

 

Bucky looked at Steve in surprise, he hadn't noticed tears welling in his eyes until one fell on the Alpha and he brought a hand up to Bucky's cheek to wipe the other with a thumb.

 

“I am 176 in height and the only reason I am supposed to weigh 120 is because of the metal in my system. You are much bigger than me, Alpha.”

 

Steve paused a moment, doing quick calculations to convert the centimeters and kilos in his head. Bucky was still around 10 lbs off his target weight of around 260 but he was getting there, but 5'9'' was a bit shorter for that number. Steve was 6'2'' and almost always on target. His weight tended to range between 240 and 250.

 

“Wasn't always... so what happened?”

 

“When the war came, we moved to London. I joined force there, against my parents wishes... I'd never felt more guilty. I simply thought it would come naturally... Papa had been in and out of the military, and mum... she was so shocked...I just... she died in a car crash but I just... I felt I could have prevented it. Papa died shortly after, and I was young then but I convinced them to let me stay so I could at least send money to support my sister and what was left of my family... they led good lives at least... and will never know... about—... about...”

 

Steve pressed a kiss to his mate's forehead. “It's okay, Buck...”

 

“I met Falsworth there... he said the same thing as Dernier but very differently. For as bad as I was, my Alpha must've had an even thicker head than me...”

 

Steve gave a smile. “That is... probably very true... sorry.”

 

“Oh, no, I like him... regardless of the fact. I stayed with Monty... met others... up until Azzano... but that was actually the second run in with Hydra I'd had...”

 

“What was the first...”

 

“Back in Germany, when they'd just started forming... my last summer there. It was like they had painted a target on me from then... I could never shake the feeling of someone watching me...”

 

“No one's gonna harm you now, Buck...”

 

Bucky looked at him a moment and then leaned down to kiss him. It started out slow, but sensuous. Getting more and more heated as he felt his heart beat faster for a reason that wasn't danger for once... Steve flipped them over, getting inbetween his legs and Bucky spread them more for his Alpha.

 

For once, thoughts weren't anywhere but in the moment, on his Alpha, on the feelings bubbling in his chest for him. On the sensations of pleasure, every tingle passing with every touch. For the first time, they did something that could actually _qualify_ as making love. Steve was passionate, gentle, and every kiss set everything aflame.

 

Everything felt like it would be okay... no hurry or rush... nothing hidden from one another... like everything you'd been taught and told, imagined being with a fated mate should feel like.

 

Appealing to the Alpha instinct inside of his mate had been enjoyable, but it barely scratched the surface of what Steve could... _would_ offer him. What Bucky didn't deserve from his mate. He knew that now... And he was selfish... he would take everything he could just to save himself...

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
> 
> sweet onions~


	9. Raw- (Pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve tries to find a solution.
> 
> Bucky deals with a problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hullo...
> 
> o___o
> 
> I need more onions, so many onions for this story~ be prepared~
> 
> ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

.oOo.

 

Steve went to the facility the next day knowing they expected to see his mate with the tracker in tow. All they got was his lingering scent on the Alpha. He wasn't going to stop for anyone because this was something he needed to speak directly to Fury about.

 

Well... almost anyone.

 

He was surprised to see Sharon. His eyes widened.

 

“Fury's in a meeting.”

 

He was about to speak but she cut him off.

 

“You look like a man on a mission. I heard... about your mate.”

 

“Guess it's a pretty interesting story to tell...”

 

She nodded. “I can take you to where he will be, he likely won't have time for his office today.”

 

Steve gave a nod before following her.

 

She saw what was in his hand, and Steve felt his fist tighten. Fury's words still ringing in his ears. There was even more at stake now. He knew who he could trust, not who he couldn't. He wanted to trust Sharon, but he wasn't entirely sure where to turn.

 

When they got to the room, he thanked her.

 

“I wish you two the best...”

 

“I—... thank you... he's... still recovering...”

 

“I can only imagine...”

 

He watched her go. It was a while before he saw the Director. Fury's eye widened when he saw Steve and the tracker in his hand. He gave a nod as Steve stood and they entered the room. He made sure it was secured before speaking.

 

“He take that out?”

 

“He recognized three agents following him yesterday. All Hydra.”

 

“And he's sure?”

 

“It's the one thing I've seen him completely sure about. He freaked out and cut his wrist open to pull everything out. And... I think the last one might be making him sick.”

 

He still hadn't mentioned the doctor. But considering he suddenly changed station and moved to a different facility, Steve wasn't sure what to do.

 

“The birth control?”

 

“What else would be in it?”

 

“Couple things, I don't know which one they used.”

 

“He couldn't get that one out.”

 

“Do you want that one out?”

 

“I—...”

 

“Don't answer that... I get the feeling this might fall apart before we can fix it. They won't make a move without him but they'll take a risk to get him back... we need a third person, neutral party. Or at least _your_ party.”

 

“I'm not bringin' Tony in on this...”

 

“I wasn't talking about Tony.”

 

Steve nodded. Fury held out his hand and Steve handed him the tracker and monitor.

 

.oOo.

 

Bucky woke up without Steve and vomiting again. Maybe Steve was right... maybe the birth control was making him sick... it seemed to be getting stronger lately and he wasn't sure what to do.

 

After resting his forehead against the lifted seat and staring into the toilet, he heard a light tapping.

 

When he heard it again, he looked to the source. A man in a red suit waved to him. If he wasn't mistaken, those looked like katanas on his back through that small window.

 

At first, Bucky tried to ignore him. But when he started appearing at every window to get his attention, Bucky ran out of patience to deal with this. He went to the door to find out who this man was and what he wanted. He slipped in before Bucky had the chance to say anything.

 

“Oh thank god, you have no idea how nervous you made me. I got these guys after me and heavens know I can't go home with Ellie there. But you, you're a big badass scary mother fucker. They come around here, I won't have a problem. You got anything to eat? What am I saying. Captain America is your mate. _Captain America._ I saw him leaving and let me tell you, I fangirled so damn hard. How could you not tell me that, I feel hurt! You got any pizza?”

 

Bucky took a moment to register what he said, recognizing _Ellie_ in the string of words he'd just spewed.

 

“Wade?”

 

“In the flesh. The one and only. We're friends, right? Great. Help me out please?”

 

“I just met you yesterday, and I didn't expect—...”

 

“Right. _Right._ First off. One day. Totally enough to become someone's best friend, cause it's not like you have any—.”

 

Bucky frowned.

 

“Wow, you've got such a cute grump face. Second. I was in civilian mode and I'll explain anything you wanna know but I've got a _fucking situation_ here.”

 

As soon as Bucky had closed the door, he heard men outside. Every shade was closed but they must have seen Wade.

 

“Now would be a great time for you to go badass, _Winter Soldier~._ ”

 

Bucky's eyes widened.

 

“Don't think I don't know.”

 

“I'm on probation.”

 

Wade stared at him. Bucky stared back.

 

“Oh, you're serious. Well, fuck. And _why_?”

 

Bucky frowned again.

 

“Whatever, doesn't matter. Call your Alpha then.”

 

Bucky hesitated but when he checked for his phone, Wade had already dug through his contacts and was making the call.

 

His eyes widened but he was so stunned he didn't act until he heard Steve's concerned voice on the other end.

 

“ _Bucky?”_

 

He quickly snatched it from Wade. Bringing it to his ear. “S-Steve?”

 

“ _Buck, what's wrong?”_

 

He took a breath, hoping Steve couldn't hear the men yelling outside while he was staring at Wade's eager face under the mask. How did he even...

 

“Everything's fine.”

 

“ _Wha—Bu—.”_

 

_Beep._

 

“What's in it for me if I help you?”

 

“Aww... you're no fun.”

 

“ _Wade._ ”

 

“You help me take care a this mess, and I will personally string up Hydra by the balls so you and your baby daddy can ride off into the sunset. And I'll be your best friend.”

 

“Not on your own you won't. Who are these guys?”

 

“Does it matter?”

 

Bucky raised a brow.

 

“Mercs, the bad kind. Let's just say I spend a lot of spare time going after a cause—... you know, my mate supported.”

 

“Anti-mutant group?”

 

“And here I thought you couldn't tell.”

 

“You came in with bullet holes and they're already healed. You also smell like... one I... remember... Anything else?”

 

“Apart from super cancer, no.”

 

“ _Perfect._ ”

 

Bucky checked the blinds, noting it went quiet.

 

“What, no weapon?”

 

“ _Shh._ ”

 

Bucky was listening for them, which was interrupted by one very well kept katana being handed to him, too close to his face. He stared at Wade a moment, before taking the blade and sheathing.

 

“ _It's more effective if it's unsheathed._ ”

 

Bucky gave a low growl. Pulling Wade behind him. He moved a hand to unlock the door, slowly turning the knob. He didn't want them to break the door.

 

.oOo.

 

Steve groaned. They were explaining with countless bullshit reasons why they couldn't remove the implant in his mate's wrist. All the while reiterating why he should have Bucky permanently sterilized. _All the while_ , Bucky could've been in _danger_ during that very moment. He _never_ called. Steve had gotten him a phone for emergencies and he certainly hadn't sounded _fine._ There was yelling in the background, and dealing with headaches from the brass was the last thing he wanted.

 

“Look. I don't care about any of that. I don't care about pups. I don't care about public opinion. All I care about is whether or not the implant you gave him is able to make him sick. In any way. Period. You've already checked him for pregnancy and the results were negative. He's still fuckin' throwin' up. And that means something's _wrong_. I'm asking _what_ could cause that.”

 

“Captain Rogers—..................................................”

 

Steve let out a sigh, sinking further into his chair.

 

.oOo.

 

“That... was... _AWESOME!!_ ”

 

Bucky finished tying up the last of the men. All incapacitated, but no one dead.

 

“How is it that you managed to not kill a single one? You're like... an expert at that.”

 

Bucky looked over, tensing his jaw. Deadpool, as he called himself, had not shut up the entire battle. “I have control now. I don't... I don't want to kill anyone...” He stood as he finished. He'd have to clean up the carpet. It was a small amount of blood but Steve would notice. He really hoped the Alpha wouldn't be rushing over here despite the call. _God, his back hurt._ He tried rubbing it out a bit, his lower back...

 

Either he was _really_ out of practice, or—.

 

“Here, let me get that for you.”

 

Bucky was about to hesitate and tell Wade that he was fine, but those hands were on him before he could speak and Jesus _Christ_ were they magic. He didn't want to admit he let out a low purr, but it was like the merc knew the perfect spot to make it better.

 

“See? There ya go. Kinda what happens when you're pregnant, my mate did this for me with Ell—.”

 

Bucky almost didn't register before pulling back and staring at Wade. “I'm not—... I'm not breeding.”

 

“Wanna bet on that?”

 

“Why do you insist that I am?”

 

“Mostly the scent, are you sure?”

 

Bucky held out a wrist so Wade could see the implant. Cuts already healing. After a moment of staring, he took his hand and started knawing on the small circle through the mask. Bucky was so surprised, he didn't really fight him. Not at first. But Wade seemed to knaw on something the wrong way, because it had Bucky suddenly running to the bathroom to throw up again. If there were suspicions that implant was causing this before...

 

“Whoa... and here I thought supersoldiers couldn't get sick. _Are you sure_?”

 

“The implant... is birth control...”

 

“Hmm... what are your other symptoms? Hypersensitivity? Horniness? _That's a fun one_. Food comas without the food? Neediness and blanket huddling? I'd say vomiting but I'm gonna guess this one's something else. You know what... how bout I find out what's under your skin?”

 

Bucky groaned. He'd already told him.

 

“Cause I'm pretty sure you got a bun in that oven, and if that little fucker is what I think it is—.”

 

“H-how could you be so sure?”

 

“Enough talk, let's get this finished up, shall we?”

 

.oOo.

 

Steve frowned. These men were essentially leading him in circles and refusing to answer his questions. At this point, he was ready to raid their cabinet, find out what would work to make his mate not sick, and find out what the fuck was in that implant they gave him.

 

He almost wanted to get Bucky pregnant just to spite them, and he _did_ want pups. But he... he could never do that to his mate. Right now, he just wanted Bucky to be safe, happy, and healthy. And he was more than sure he wasn't really any of the three...

 

Instead of sticking around to listen, he got up not caring about them calling after him.

 

He walked straight to the lab, took a medic kit, checked the equipment, threw in a few other things and made a call. Because if he had to play doctor himself, he would. And he wasn't going to give a shit about these people cause they didn't give a shit about Bucky.

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> steve is so done, anyone wondering who he called?
> 
> wade is just a doll, ain't he? i wonder if he's right~... and ohhh, my dear sweet bucky... how we need infinitely moar mama versions of you, but only for stevie's babies~
> 
> and onions... lots and lots of onions... <3
> 
> ;)


	10. -& Exposed (Pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade's antics continue.
> 
> Steve brings a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh Wade, i love you so~<3
> 
> ;)

.oOo.

 

Bucky and Deadpool had to have dragged those men to the other side of town,  _way_ outside of his perimeter, before Wade had told him to step outside of the abandoned warehouse building they'd stopped at. Bucky was unsure about it.

 

“I'm only gonna kill the evil motherfucker giving them orders. The rest I'll _men in black_ their memories.”

 

Men in... _what?_

 

Bucky was so confused he could just watch Wade cock his gun and go inside. He heard a lot more than one gunshot after there had been some yelling. Then something that sounded electrical... like a taser maybe? Wade stepped back outside.

 

He didn't say anything for a moment, putting away his gun before turning to Bucky, staring a minute, and then nodding.

 

“Okay... I'd say that went... swimmingly.”

 

He stared at Bucky a moment, and the next he knew they were standing in line at a drug store buying a plethora of pregnancy tests with a card Wade had, covered in blood, and Bucky was pretty sure it meant he had stolen it from one of the bodies, but he couldn't do much but stare at the tests as the clerk stared at them and Wade bought them.

 

When they got home, Bucky finally spoke.

 

“There's no way I can piss this much.”

 

“Nonsense! You start with those, I'll get you some water, some detox additive, and some orange juice for good measure!”

 

Because of course he couldn't just pee in one cup and dip all the tests. Nope, they needed his blood clear, if for a fine minute. Sure enough, Bucky had peed on the first few and gotten some answers by the time Wade got back. They were all negative just the same. And Wade had stared a good while, squinting before turning to Bucky.

 

“Well, it's a good thing I got this. Take these and a couple bottles of water, along with two glasses of orange juice and we'll know for sure.”

 

Bucky sighed through his nose, but he'd humor the merc. There were a few detox pills and a solution to mix with the water. Why the hell was Wade so... what did it matter... he'd just be proven wrong anyway...

 

They waited some time before Wade pushed more water on him, enough to make him nauseous. Enough to make him throw up, but when he did it was a lot more viscous than he was expecting. And then Wade pushed three more bottles on him as he read through a magazine Bucky had no idea where he'd gotten from.

 

Still, he followed through.

 

The next 2 tests were negative and Wade just looked at him expectantly, this whole thing was pointless but if it was just to prove the merc wrong.

 

He took the next few. And they waited. The rate at which he had to pee went from sporadic to continuous, as he would drink the water, rest, have to piss and take the test.

 

The next 6 read as follows:

 

Inconclusive. Both results showed up. Faulty test.

 

Inconclusive. Neither result, passing the wait time.

 

Inconclusive...

 

Positive...

 

Incon—...clusive...

 

_Positive._

 

They were still waiting for the next few, but Bucky kept going. They had to be wrong. They bought a total of 43 tests. They had to be thorough after all.

 

Bucky didn't want to look at more until they were all done, and he stopped taking water by the time they reached the last 5. Now he was just slightly nauseous again and exhausted. But this time Wade offered him tea. The cinnamon... tea he got... _Sonovabitch._

 

Bucky wanted it too badly to yell at Wade for raiding the cabinet. It was mostly milk and not very sweet, maybe just a single cube of brown sugar but it had settled his stomach immediately...

 

Wade let him rest as he lined up the tests with the results. He fell asleep and eventually woke up to—.

 

“ **Ding ding ding!** Rise and shine Boo Bear, the results are in!”

 

Bucky startled in the chair but took a few breaths to calm himself down. “Great... can you just leave me in peace now that you have your answer?”

 

“Uhhh, no? I was right. You've got a star spangled bun in that oven, I wanna know what you plan to do.”

 

“Wha—?” Bucky's breath got heavier as he tensed up and got up. There was no way—.

 

He saw the tests, perfectly lined up in the order he took them. The first few were the ones he had already seen. The 5 negatives, the 6 strange ones. And his breath hitched when he saw the next 12.

 

 _Every_ single one was _positive._ And the last in that 12 told him 9 weeks exactly. But 9 weeks ago was...

 

_Back when they mated..._

 

The next one after that was negative, but it didn't bring any relief. Because every single one after, with the exception of one more inconclusive, was positive.

 

But that wasn't...

 

The last 3 of the whole group said the same, being the same type of test. 9 weeks exactly.

 

He was—.

 

_He was—._

 

_Inconclusive._

 

This couldn't be possible, they'd been—.

 

“ _...his reproductive capability shows both high compatibility with yourself, and a high probability of pregnancy, even with contraception...”_

 

He was...

 

_High probability._

 

“ _Scheisse... May I speak with Mr. Barnes privately?”_

 

 _They'd_ want this...

 

Would...

 

_Would Steve?_

 

He had to take a breath to calm himself down before throwing away every single test in a large black trash bag that held all the boxes. He'd been so stupid, he hadn't even checked to see S.H.I.E.L.D. following him, _Hydra_ following him but... _no tracker... maybe..._

 

He got to the last one... staring at it as he saw two droplets fall on the counter. 9 weeks. _9 weeks..._ He gripped it tighter as he sat down, unable to throw it away.

 

“The detox stuff was to make sure whatever was in your birth control wasn't blocking up the hormones the tests were looking for. You seem a little emotional.”

 

It was a long while before Bucky spoke.

 

“This wasn't... supposed to be possible...”

 

“Ah. Do you want a pup?”

 

Bucky... didn't know how to answer that. He wanted to be away from Hydra... Steve... He didn't want Steve to throw him away...

 

The face he made...

 

“ _...Well that's what it's gotta be, right? Alphas only think about impregnating people, like we're walking wombs or something. I bet if I offered, he'd come running back...”_

 

Steve would probably... love a pup or two...

 

_He didn't want to be thrown away..._

 

But even so, how sure was this?

 

“How sure are these?”

 

“Uhhh... pretty accurate. With the exception of your weird birth control, I'm goin' with majority. Why?”

 

Bucky didn't answer, holding onto the last test tighter. He ended up pushing Wade out of the house with all the garbage. The merc ended up going to a window and tapping on it. Bucky opened the shade up but didn't really respond. Wade waved at him with the giant bag in hand.

 

“ _Uh... okay. I guess I'll just go... take care of this... you need time to process, right?”_

 

Bucky felt a little bad about pushing him out but...

 

He looked back down at the test before bringing a hand over his lower abdomen...

 

_Steve had... they were... he was—..._

 

He shook it off. Remembering he needed to clean the carpet.

 

.oOo.

 

Steve got home as fast as he could, Bruce in tow. Whatever was going on, he'd figure it out. He _needed_ to. He needed Bucky to be okay.

 

Still, he was surprised to receive the tight hug from his mate upon walking in the door. When Bucky tensed up, he knew that he'd noticed Bruce. Steve held him tighter until he felt him relax and then pulled back.

 

“Bucky... I... this is Bruce. He's a friend, but more importantly, he's a doctor.”

 

Bucky gave a slight nod. Bruce gave a small wave and smile.

 

“We need... we need to figure out why you keep getting sick. That's why he's here. You thought it might be the birth control and...”

 

Bucky's face fell from its neutral expression, suddenly turning to worry before he started shaking his head. They would know. They would _know._ And Bucky wasn't even sure... they might make him—.

 

“Buck?”

 

Steve's face fell and Bruce seemed to pick up on the distress coming from the Omega.

 

“I'm not here to hurt you. And I don't have ties with S.H.I.E.L.D.. They would never know that I was here or that I checked up on you. Like Steve said, I'm a friend. He's worried about you.”

 

Bucky paused a moment, but still pulled back and shied away. Too much was happening at once and it was getting harder to breathe. He shook his head again about to pull away. Steve stopped him.

 

“ _Bucky please..._ ”

 

He faltered, and Bruce cut in.

 

“At least—maybe let me figure out what they used in the implant... there has to be a reason you keep getting sick... Steve just wants you to get better, is that okay?”

 

Bucky hesitated but after a long moment, managed to nod.

 

He was still tense as he saw Bruce take a sample. And nauseated again. It was a small amount of fluid he took into the syringe from the implant, but something about the slight chemical scent was unsettling Bucky. Bruce wiped away the small drop of blood from the needle before doing a different kind of exam. He felt the implant a bit.

 

“Hm...”

 

“Is it what's making him sick?”

 

“That depends on what I'm looking for, and what I'm looking at. Bucky, do you mind if I take a blood sample too?”

 

Bucky pulled away. That was answer enough.

 

“Buck...”

 

“It's okay. I'll get back to you with the results. It'll at least give us some answers...”

 

Bruce went off on his way but Bucky still seemed unsettled. He just wanted Steve to hold him close and nothing more, which under ordinary circumstance, Steve would be more than happy to do... but something was telling him there was more to it than Bucky simply wanting to be cuddled.

 

“Buck... did something happen?”

 

Bucky shook his head before leaning in. Nothing inbetween them and pressing as close as he possibly could...

 

Steve held him tight... no matter what happened... everything would be okay... it had to be...

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :o
> 
> Brucie bear~<3
> 
> i love him too, could ya tell?


	11. Observe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky keeps his distance.
> 
> Steve doesn't know what else to do but worry...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look~ smuts <3

.oOo.

 

The next few days were peaceful, quiet... but Bucky was... distant at the same time he was affectionate. And it had Steve worried and...

 

Not knowing what to do.

 

There were small moments... Steve noticed. Moments that made him wonder. Moments he would see Bucky being more observant or precautious... Moments he would see his mate with a hand placed gently and protectively—... over his lower tummy. Moments he would see him looking at himself in the mirror, bringing both hands to that same spot and seeming worried... Moments he would just want Steve to hold him close...

 

It made waiting for those results both bearable and all too much to handle. Bucky was still sick but Steve was able to stay by his side this time. Fury made sure of that.

 

When Bucky took a new focus, Steve wasn't sure what he could do other than follow through. It went back to sex. Like before they'd spoken. And Steve felt like what little progress they'd made had fallen away. But denying his Omega... with how sweet his scent seemed to be growing, with how beautiful he was, with how adoringly submissive he was choosing to be, as much as his chest hurt at the fact... Still not sure if Bucky trusted him enough to show him who he truly was... Steve knew it was a losing battle from the moment he first saw those eyes...

 

It was obsessive now. And maybe it was because Steve had taken an extended leave and had more free time. But Bucky wouldn't stop. Not the begging, not the pushing. He'd want more from his Alpha until they were soaked in sweat, tired and spent and too sore to continue. And then he'd fall asleep just the same, cuddled in and have Steve wondering...

 

Thinking about what Nick had said before, just after he'd mated Bucky. What the additional birth control was for. How they'd been concerned him and Bucky might've... _sweat through it._

 

Bucky wasn't as sick when they spent their time having sex like that. And it had Steve wondering more. With everything that happened... with every small gesture...

 

All he could do was observe.

 

.oOo.

 

Steve had to force himself to ask one day. Almost not able to with the way the Omega was in his lap. Straddling his hips as they sat together. Lips connecting again and again. Hungry for each other and drunk on the scents of one another. Pulling away had been almost impossible, and looking into those beautiful silver eyes just made Steve feel all the more guilty and worried. Impatient for the results Bruce had promised.

 

He almost couldn't bring himself to ask, but... he knew he had to.

 

“Buck...”

 

Those same eyes softened before he leaned in for another kiss. Steve stopped him this time.

 

“W-wait... wait... I...”

 

He paused. He'd grabbed Bucky's wrist. Now looking down at it, running his thumb over the implant's spot. The same worry passing over his Omega's face, a long moment of silence shared before Steve finally spoke...

 

"What's been going on with you...?"

 

Bucky's glance turned away from Steve, the pain in his eyes purely evident. The tears welling having Steve's own face fall and his worry magnifying. Softly speaking to soothe him before this went down the wrong path. He quickly stopped Bucky from fully looking away from him, a hand on his cheek and making sure that Bucky was looking straight back into his eyes, to know that he wasn't mad at him.

 

"Hey... hey... it's okay. I'm just worried about you... You've been..."

 

He paused, noting Bucky looking back at him with worry. He'd been doing little things, small gestures that might go unnoticed for someone else. But Steve noticed. Bucky relaxed himself in Steve's arms and what he said was barely a whisper, same light accent in that beautiful voice of his... but it had Steve's breath hitching all the same.

 

" _You were disappointed... when the tests were negative..._ "

 

Steve found himself responding before he could think much about it...

 

“Do you... do you... _want_ a baby?”

 

It was the same question he'd asked before and hadn't gotten an answer for. But this time, there were no other questions. And the spark of hope he saw in Bucky's eyes had his heart fluttering. Something barely hesitant of a nod that Bucky seemed to stop himself from giving.

 

“If I said _yes._.. what would you do?”

 

Steve felt his heart clench. And the answer came easier than he expected. Easier than it should have been. Than he would want to admit. And he knew it shouldn't have been the answer that came... He hesitated. Letting his own thoughts mull over what Bucky had said. Trying not to alarm his Omega but not able to speak for a moment either...

 

“ _... If he is a victim of torture, it is likely he's reverted to baser instincts, and that urge may be stronger with him... It would also mean his mind would not be stable enough to handle caring for a child...”_

 

Still, Steve couldn't stop himself from thinking about it. His mate... who hadn't proven to be anything but... _human._ Who was sweet... maybe a bit mischievous but... _pure_. He knew in his heart that Bucky would be an amazing mother. The kind who would die to protect his own child. Who wouldn't hesitate to do what's right, for that child. For their family. He was a man who'd been through too much... but maybe this would never go away... and Bucky was strong. Steve knew that.

 

_And he wouldn't be alone. Steve would make sure of that._

 

When he saw his mate get worried... Even if it was one he knew he shouldn't give. Even if he knew they should talk more about it. Even if he knew how much trouble it would cause...

 

“I'd do my best to give you... to give you one...”

 

Bucky eyes widened at the words... Tears welling in those same eyes before he gave his answer. Nodding. Hesitant at first but then more certain, leaning into the touch Steve gave, the hand on his cheek, the thumb wiping away the tear that fell. He didn't deserve this Alpha. But he'd do _anything_ for Steve to keep him... And Steve would not be the type of Alpha to abandon his child.

 

Even if he didn't know one was already growing in Bucky.

 

He just needed time... time and Steve's loyalty. Loyalty to him and the child so that when Hydra came to collect... Steve would protect them... So that if S.H.I.E.L.D. tried to take away the baby... Steve wouldn't let them... And his words...

 

His words were proof of that...

 

The next kiss was a much stronger press of lips. Less patience and more dominance from the Alpha. More passion. More fire. Not the slightest bit of hesitation. Desperation. Steve didn't move him. But slipped his hands into the soft shorts Bucky was wearing. Under his underwear and over his ass. The man was a very fast learner... And had Bucky gasping the moment those fingers went over his hole, dipping along the slick and puffy entrance. More developed than the first time with every change his body went through. Bucky moved his own hands to Steve's pants but his mate stopped him, taking the time to work him, pulling Bucky closer.

 

Two fingers to start, sinking all the way in almost immediately. The slight yelp from Bucky and then the whimper into a purr, a moan as Steve swallowed up every sound he made. Breaths heavy. Those same fingers curling and pushing in and out of that pathway, spreading it, making it wider.

 

Steve wasn't the one on birth control. It wasn't something that would last on him if they tried. But if he could get Bucky to sweat out whatever was in his system, even for a moment, then maybe...

 

_Maybe..._

 

Bucky shuddered in his arms, the first orgasm overtaking him but Steve didn't let it stop him. Hard in his own right, still straining in his pants, still pushing the Omega to the next one. His other hand moving to overstimulate Bucky's oversensitive cock. Already spent from the first time but still vying for life. An Omega's penis often functioned much like a clitoris after the fact, still able to feel pleasure if differently, caught somewhere in the middle. Steve's fingers pressing against his prostate made it worse. Bucky gasped, stifling the moan with a bite on his mate's collarbone. Just enough to leave a mark, a bruise maybe, but nothing to pierce skin, even if it wasn't the right spot.

 

_What Steve wouldn't give for—._

 

He shook the thought. Not for spite. He couldn't do this for spite. But for his mate... for _Bucky..._ He wanted to be his, wanted to be Bucky's as much as the mark on Bucky's nape made him Steve's... and it wasn't fair. So he'd do his best. He'd give Bucky what he wanted and tell those fuckers to shove it when Bucky showed up at that stupid trial pregnant with a baby that would force people to look at him with an open heart.

 

He'd start a family with him... Because the Bucky he knew... the man he'd learned more about that had been torn to pieces over and _over_ and thrown for a loop without even a chance to be put back together... The man who was sweet, and kind, and tender. The man who cried every time he remembered something about the family he'd lost. The family Hydra had stolen him from. The man who snuggled closer and cried himself to sleep every time he had a nightmare. A _memory_. Every time Steve didn't know what _else_ he could do but hold him close and let him scent for comfort...

 

Bucky deserved nothing less from him. He deserved someone on his side for _everything_ he'd been through...

 

Two months might be too little to fall in love with someone... but they were fated for a reason, right? _Soulmates..._

 

He had his mate lift himself a little, standing on his knees, still straddling Steve. One of the Alpha's hands still playing with his hole, back to teasing as Steve used the other to push his shorts to the side and then set himself free.

 

It was _relief_ and then...

 

He pulled Bucky in again, guiding the Omega to sink down. They'd done this before. Bucky wasn't shy. But it still felt like coming _home_ every time. Slick, heated walls, tightening around him once again, clenching. The minute he was buried to the hilt, Bucky hadn't been able to hold it in anymore. Not with all the teasing, the work Steve had done prior. And he was sweating.

 

_Good._

 

If they could burn through it, if only for a moment. Then maybe... _Maybe..._

 

He pushed Bucky forward onto the coffee table, not worried about it breaking and not stopping for the surprise his mate gave. One arm pulling Bucky's thigh up as he started thrusting into the Omega. Deep and damn near brutal. No hesitation.

 

Bucky was trembling, trying to hold his legs around Steve's waist but not able to help them falling. Steve's grip near bruising on his hips. Obscenely wet hole tight around him, just like always. The rim of it clinging to him. Hugging the base down to the tip every time. Steve leaned forward with a rough bite on Bucky's neck. Making him gasp. A deep moan before sealing their lips again.

 

He pinned Bucky's legs. Thick thighs as wide as he could on that table. Getting as deep as possible as he watched his mate fidget. Eyes closed tight. Tears welling at the edges. Clinging tight. Holding onto Steve and trying to keep him in. Chasing those kisses whenever his mate pulled away. Bucky gave a whine and Steve gave him another kiss. Sweeter and softening his grip. Those same silver eyes opening as he was given barely a moment to catch his breath. Steve gave another harsher thrust and Bucky couldn't help crying out or holding tight.

 

When he heard the table creak, he quickly picked Bucky up, helping his legs gain grip around his waist, going over before he took them both to the floor. He was losing control and he knew that. But he couldn't stop. Every touch razed like fire across their skin. Making sure to near overheat his mate. Making sure there wasn't an inch of him not covered by a drop of sweat. Making sure Bucky felt his own heat.

 

He reached down to play with Bucky's cock. Using his mate's own cum and slick to dirty it up, easing the grip on oversensitive flesh. Bucky whimpered and Steve didn't stop until he was hard once again. And losing it just as quick. Omegas were more sensitive... more responsive. Steve barely held together with the feel of Bucky trying to pull him in, but he needed _more._

 

To feel more. To do more. To make sure this would work. If it could... if they had that _chance_ , he wasn't gonna miss it.

 

He let his knot build, still chasing. A growl slipping and another whine in response. Another kiss to settle his Omega. The rim now clinging to the slight swelling, getting bigger with each passing. Getting harder to pull out, to force back in. He didn't want to be rough with his mate but Bucky only seemed desperate for more.

 

And Steve was happy to give. To give what he could. Happy to lock in place. To fill him to the brim. As deep as he could get. As many times as Bucky wanted...

 

The clench on his solid knot only urging him more. Completely lost in it and drunk on his Omega's scent. The sweet, milky undertone barely escaping.

 

_He needed more of it..._

 

He barely remembered how he'd managed to take Bucky from that spot once he'd knotted him. And he certainly didn't remember how many times he did. Eidetic memory failing him all too easily with giving in and giving his mate absolutely everything he could.

 

_If this was what Bucky wanted—..._

 

 _._ oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and feels~
> 
> ...
> 
> i like porn okay
> 
> the story needed moar of it~
> 
> it's not like i'm plotting nefarious things...
> 
> ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


	12. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's well needed leave lets him know his mate a little more.
> 
> But there's still so much space between them.
> 
> Still so much that the brass wants from Bucky...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmm... be prepared for some onions~
> 
> <3

_._ oOo.

 

Steve asked Bruce if his serum could bypass the birth control. Less so giving the why as much as curiosity and worry. And he was worried. He still didn't know what was truly in that birth control.

 

Bruce told him he'd made progress. And so far, what he was finding didn't look good. There were several chemicals in the implant known to be toxic. A variety of them that Omegas specifically were more susceptible to. And the cocktail of them together...

 

Bruce had immediately offered to just remove it.

 

Steve almost hadn't been able to decline the offer. Knowing for certain that stupid thing was more than responsible for making Bucky sick. In the end, he hadn't wanted to, but had to. With the tracker removed and everything else, with how persistent they were in violating basic human rights, he couldn't risk them doing anything else to Bucky. Fury had needed to give him a different tracker and monitor just to settle the brass when they found out. Less invasive, more like a wristband with an electronic key. Another wristband that Steve wore, displaying health data and location and making him the only person who could take it off and put it back on.

 

Bucky had been sad about it, but tried not to show it. Steve did his best to soothe him, Bucky only really needed to wear it when he wasn't there with him, so it was off every other time. He'd understood. With removing the others... not exactly something that counted as good behavior...

 

And if they removed the implant...

 

They had a cell waiting. Raft containment. And they gave Steve a promise.

 

Natasha gave him a loophole without him asking, but she always knew. They couldn't do anything if their serums had simply been too much for the implant to hold back. Steve hadn't been able to stop thinking about it.

 

He asked Bruce to run more tests. Gave him a sample of his own blood to see the reaction. Bruce said he'd still need a blood sample from his mate to test his reaction to it as well. Bucky had still seemed wary, but had let his mate at least take the sample. Bruce promised him it wouldn't be used for anything other than getting the data they needed so they could make something to counteract the sickness.

 

With everything happening, the weeks passed by quicker than Steve expected but he was happy to be able to spend that time with his mate. Bucky was still shy, reserved. Sometimes, he even regressed... There was a lot he still wouldn't talk about. None of which Steve would pressure him to. Not with the files he'd been able to stomach that Natasha gave him. But part of Bucky was starting to trust Steve with more and more, if bit by tiny bit, about himself. And to be honest, he was a bit of a jerk, but Steve... he—...

 

_He..._

 

The day before Steve's leave ended, they went out together, just enjoying their day. Doing a bit of shopping in pleasant company. And every time he saw Bucky smiling, he'd wished he could always see him that way... carefree, laughing. _Alive._

 

Bucky got caught up looking at things for a baby, and they ended up staying for a while. Words not spoken but with quiet understanding. Thinking about possibilities. About the future. Eventually talking about it. About having one of their own. As if Bucky were already free, leaving behind that worry. Steve, he...

 

“I have always wanted a family...”

 

Steve couldn't help the small smile at the words from his mate.

 

“Always... since the first moment I laid eyes on my baby sister...”

 

“How old were you then?”

 

“Maybe 3? I think some part of me knew... but I... I wanted that. To be able to care for a child of my own. To have the love my parents shared. I may not have known or understood everything, but...”

 

“Well, if you were 3, it technically wasn't _always—_.”

 

Bucky bit his lip but punched Steve in the arm. The Alpha started laughing.

 

“You're a damn punk.”

 

“Yeah, but I'm yours, ain't I?”

 

Bucky paused, he gave a smile but his eyes told a different story. Like he wanted to... but didn't really believe what Steve had said. Steve's own smile fell and he glanced away. He noticed a little plush toy... It was a midnight blue dog. A jackal maybe? A puppy, definitely. Soft, with golden eyes and a golden bow. Beautiful gold accents in the fur like stars and on the paw pads. Fluffy, but neat. It came with a midnight security blanket filled with scattered stars, sparkling and golden like a night sky under the countryside, void of city lights blocking up the view.

 

Something for either a boy or a girl. Something for a baby. And Steve had noticed it had caught Bucky's eye a bit. It was handmade by the shopkeep. Put on display proudly. There were a lot of local stores in the area. And because of that, he knew it was a little bit more pricey, but also one of a kind.

 

Steve stayed quiet a moment. Bucky turned away to look at something else. And when he did, Steve couldn't stop looking at the plush. He went over to inspect it. He knew lots of people had looked, and if he didn't buy it, then someone else would. But Bucky...

 

For the baby they might have... whether now, or after all of this was over...

 

He went to find the shopkeep. Who'd told him her daughter had actually been the one to make it. Expecting to use it for her own child before she'd had a miscarriage...

 

It was nobody's fault. Sometimes those things just... happened. And it had still been early, even if she was so excited... She explained that her daughter hadn't been able to bear keeping it after the fact. But knew that there would be a couple or mother that might make good use of it. That might be able to give it to their child... That maybe it simply hadn't been meant for her child.

 

She'd had a lot of couples ask, but most chose not to buy it either because of the story or because of the high price. But she thought the pup deserved a good home, and part of her might have been still clinging to the thought of her would be grandchild...

 

Steve had offered his condolences. Sat down with her. And explained the situation, in vague detail, about his own mate. About how much Bucky had been through. Saying he was a war veteran who'd seen too much... About how he wanted a family. About how Steve wanted him to be happy, more than anything. About how... against their better judgment. They were trying to see if they could have a baby.

 

She knew he was leaving out details but she didn't mind. She'd smirked instead. Guessing that he was a soldier too and the situation was complicated. When Steve ended up flushed and stuttering, she'd offered him the little jackal plush for free, wishing him luck for him and his mate, knowing they'd be able to give the plush a good home. That he'd been through a lot too...

 

Steve had said he couldn't do that, but his insistence only managed to make her charge him half price for it, and of course, he ended up buying an additional hand knitted outfit, onesie and cap, that matched. This one having been the shopkeep's work instead of her daughter's. But she still only charged him half for that one too.

 

He kept it hidden when he'd walked back to Bucky, who was shaken up and suddenly wanting to go home. Worried, but managing to calm him down when they did get home. Just holding him close until they both fell asleep. Bucky had snuggled in tighter and Steve couldn't help the feeling in his chest at the fact.

 

He knew his mate would get better... and he would be there every step of the way to make sure he did...

 

 _._ oOo.

 

“Well, you seem rather chipper for someone back to work to deal with more headaches. How was the honeymoon?”

 

Despite himself, Steve couldn't fight the smile.

 

“I'm feeling refreshed. And that's not what happened. But he's getting better... that's something to be happy about.”

 

Natasha gave a slight smirk and a tilt of her head. Steve was still worried about Bucky, but he knew this would be a process. His mate needed his patience more than anything...

 

“Sounds like he's stealing your heart. If I didn't know better, I'd assume you were compromised.”

 

When Steve sighed and raised a brow, she gave a softer expression.

 

“Be careful Steve, there's a fine line here and you know they won't hesitate.”

 

He tensed his jaw.

 

“S.H.I.E.L.D. or Hydra...?”

 

She only paused for a moment, but the look she gave was impassive.

 

“He's more dangerous than you know... I just don't want you to get hurt.”

 

“I don't doubt that... but he's... with everything that's happened, all the proof there is... I know he's innocent.”

 

“Rather strong word, wouldn't you say?”

 

“Not when he didn't have a choice...”

 

The soft smile or look in her eyes would have been imperceptible to anyone else. There was almost always something Natasha left out. But Steve knew enough to know it meant she had her own reasons for trusting Bucky.

 

“As long as you don't leave the rest of us behind—.”

 

“I'm not compromised. I'm not gonna put anyone at risk for his sake. But I can't ignore it if someone needs to be saved... I can't. And no one else is willing to help him...”

 

The smile grew into a real one.

 

“They're waiting for you.”

 

Steve sighed, but followed her. Of course they were...

 

.oOo.

 

It was always the same shit and it had soured Steve's day all too quickly. Steve told them what he'd learned about his mate. Everything that made him _human_ and nothing that they wanted to hear.

 

“With all due respect Captain, you're not supposed to be playing _house_ with the enemy.”

 

“Am I not? Cause I was under the impression that you had all the information. Everything he's done according to Hydra. And you needed me to find out who he _really_ is. Doesn't that mean getting him to trust me?”

 

“For information regarding his crimes—.”

 

“You mean his _trauma?_ The stuff he doesn't wanna talk about. Think about? The stuff that gives him nightmares and has him crying almost every night? My mate has PTSD, that's _Post Traumatic Stress Disorder_ in case you didn't know. And I don't think agitating him is gonna help the situation.”

 

“You're supposed to be collecting evidence. Need I remind you, you are a soldier of the United States Army. And your _Omega_ is a _War Criminal—_.”

 

“ _War Prisoner._ You've tried to violate his rights at every turn, I'm collecting the truth. I'm not here to meet your agenda, I'm here to help my mate as best I can, to the best of my knowledge, based on who he's shown himself to be... And so far, he's not the monster here... I'm a soldier, not a spy. And if you really had any interest in _justice_? You would have sent someone for psychiatric help. All he has is me. And whether you like it or not, this is the truth. These are the facts. And the moment they change, I'll be the first to tell you. But unless they do, don't expect me to be your lapdog so you can put a tortured man through more than he's already been through.”

 

The room seemed to go quiet for a moment as the man looked through his papers once more, quite obviously annoyed with Steve's remarks. But Steve wasn't gonna budge. He wrote a few things down before responding.

 

“Very well, Captain. You've made yourself clear.”

 

He took another pause and Steve held his breath, already expecting something worse.

 

“It's clear that you can't be objective in this task. Rather disappointing to know the great _Captain America_ is more preoccupied with getting laid than serving his country. So we'll send someone with you. To interrogate your mate for answers. The ones we need.”

 

“I don't think—.”

 

“That will be all, Captain Rogers. You're dismissed.”

 

Steve frowned, about to say something else—.

 

“Agent Romanoff.”

 

She looked up in surprise at being addressed. Steve looked to her, tensing his jaw again, already knowing what was coming.

 

“Don't disappoint us.”

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh ohhhh...
> 
> :(
> 
> ;))))))))))))))))))))
> 
> i wonder what happened to bucky when they were out...


	13. To Make Good on Promises. (Pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's memories are haunting him...
> 
> A visit reminds him he has something to protect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> be wary, this one and the next hit HARD
> 
> AAAAAAAAAAAAANGST!!!
> 
> let the planning begin~
> 
> also, i have a seriously wandering brain that i really need to get a handle on... i have a hankering for a ruthless war general archangel steve and an adorable, very young, war prize demon prince turned slave bucky
> 
> and yes, mpreg in all the wrong places~
> 
> i have a problem, i have a very serious problem
> 
> i probably have like... at least 30 stucky fics in the works? all of them bottom bucky of course~ 
> 
> . . .
> 
> ah well, little bit at a time
> 
> anywho~ enjoy~ <3

.oOo.

 

_He sees a child. A little girl... frozen in fear as those big eyes stare at him._

 

_She is innocent._

 

_She's witnessed the crime but he can't—._

 

No witnesses.

 

_He can't..._

 

_Mercy—._

 

_Wide eyes in fear._

 

_She is broken. She is innocent._

 

What has he done?

 

_**No witnesses.** _

 

**He can't.**

 

_-_

 

_Every part of her is broken. Every part. Every—._

 

_She is broken. She will die from the pain. They want him to kill her. They **wanted** him to kill her. They—._

 

_Killing her will be a mercy at this point._

 

_She is broken._

 

_They all stare at him. Those same eyes. Wide and fearful. He sees green ones._

 

_She is broken._

 

_She is the only one crying... but her pain is silent._

 

_His pain is. His pain—._

 

_She stares at him. His little—._

 

The Widows are **not** his.

 

_Killing her will be a mercy._

 

_Mercy._

 

_Mercy..._

 

**_Mercy—._ **

 

_-_

 

Bucky woke with a start. Shaken with his heart beating too quickly, cold sweat and too hot for comfort all at the same time. His breathing heavy as he tried to calm down.

 

The day he'd gone out with Steve...

 

The young woman he recognized. He had been hoping to be mistaken. It had been _years._

 

But children grow up. They get older and grow bigger. And suddenly they aren't children anymore...

 

And those eyes... filled with shock and fear. When they'd bumped into each other and she'd dropped what she'd been holding. Bucky crouching down to help her pick it up. Looking up to see those eyes...

 

There was no mistake. They had been one and the same.

 

His stomach hurt. Ached along with his head. The same feeling of nausea, of sickness washing over as he forced himself to get up and go to the toilet just to expel his stomach's contents. Nothing much but thick bile. Thicker than it should be. Dots of red he didn't notice... But the feeling, the pain... It didn't go away...

 

All those people he'd killed... all those loved ones he'd taken from others. The _pain_ in her eyes. Fear, shock, looking directly back at Bucky with the screams of his victims echoing from that day.

 

Did he really deserve to be happy? To be safe? For a mate like Steve to protect him... To give _life_ to something so innocent... for it to be born from a monster...

 

He started crying.

 

He'd hesitated that day. Stopped. Left a survivor when he'd given her family no mercy because those wide, bright amber eyes had reminded him so much of the W—...

 

Of all the things he'd done... he didn't deserve to be alive. He didn't deserve to have an Alpha like Steve... but Steve...

 

He took a moment to breathe, to calm down. It took a long while, just sitting on the floor of the bathroom.

 

Steve deserved better. But so did the child in Bucky's belly... the one his mate had yet to know about... the one—.

 

He heard a tapping on the window. But when he looked, there was no one there. He got up, cleaning himself up. Brushing his teeth. Drinking some water. Reheating the breakfast his mate had left for him. His stomach still aching dully. A hand gently placed to try and soothe it. If _anyone_ deserved better...

 

The baby was innocent...

 

_But could he really be a—._

 

He heard a knock.

 

He waited a moment to see if the person would go away... Not now. _Not now..._

 

For a while, there was nothing. He finished making his food. Nice and hot, sitting down to eat.

 

Then another knock. He looked up, paused, and then another.

 

He got up and went to the door. Looking through the peephole. Big olive eyes stared back at him, dark curls on a sweet little girl. She was being held high by gloved hands. Still holding that plush wolverine. If in a different outfit. Her hair was tied on one side, though not all of it. And she was wearing puffy overalls with flowers on the pockets. Slightly dirty. And there were tiny gardening tools in her pockets too. She kicked her feet out and Bucky was shocked a moment but then opened the door.

 

Her expression brightened tenfold, and Bucky barely had a chance to think before she was pushed into his arms, hugging him tightly and the merc, _the merc_ , was waltzing into his house with a big piece of rolled up paper, mask off but otherwise in the suit.

 

“Ugh, _finally_. I was wondering when you might open the door. Ellie's been so excited to come see you! I told her it was mostly gonna be grown up talk but she said that was okay since you were gonna have a baby anyway and she wanted to be the baby's friend! Isn't she just adorable? So much more amicable than her Affa or me! I kinda wonder where she gets it from... _Maybe_ Althea?”

 

“Wade? What are you—.”

 

Wade immediately made a space and rolled out the paper, revealing what seemed to be a large... very disturbing and concerning crayon picture, with cutouts, over a map of... several maps taped together of remaining S.H.I.E.L.D. facilities.

 

“Don't look at me like that, Ellie didn't do this. I did. Although I did have her line the pathways for me. She's such a smart little girl, aren't you Ellie!”

 

Ellie just looked at her Oma before snuggling into Bucky's arms again. Wade feigned mock hurt as Bucky stared at him.

 

“What? I said I'd help you take down Hydra didn't I?”

 

“H-how did you—.”

 

“I have an inside guy. Him, we gotta keep safe, he's just a doll~. But other than that, I've been here, here, here, aaaaaaaaaaand here. And I managed to at least fuck up this one pretty bad.”

 

Ellie gave a huff at Wade's choice of word.

 

“Sorry, sweetie. You know how mommy gets when he's working.”

 

Bucky let the sound of Wade's voice drown out his thoughts. His plan and what he needed to do. Asking Bucky a few questions regarding missing info on Hydra he might have. Eventually, it all just became ringing.

 

“Hellooo~. Earth to Bucky boo~? Yoo-hoo!”

 

Bucky snapped out of it. Quickly handing the little girl to her Oma and shaking his head.

 

“I can't. _I can't—I_... I'm not meant to do this, I'm not meant to—. I'm not anything and I c—.”

 

Wade's face fell along with Ellie's. But the next thing he did surprised Bucky. He didn't hesitate, moving to give Bucky a tight hug, Ellie caught between and doing the same. Just holding him as he broke down and started crying. Soothing him and telling him everything would be okay.

 

It still took a while before Bucky managed to calm down.

 

.oOo.

 

Bucky served them tea. But he wasn't very vocal.

 

“Mmm. This is delicious. Thank you so much for your kind hospitality. Ellie, what do we say?”

 

“Thank you~.”

 

“Very good, sweetie pie.”

 

Admittedly, it was a nice distraction, having Wade and Ellie there... But Bucky couldn't find it within himself to smile.

 

“He's right, you know.”

 

He looked up from the dishes and over at Wade.

 

“Your mate. It wasn't your fault. And you are worth it.”

 

Bucky was quiet a long moment, turning back to dishes and pausing, wiping away his tears.

 

“No... he isn't...”

 

“Yes he is. He's Captain America. He's kinda got this agitating thing where he's _always_ right. No matter what. I'm pretty sure it's part of his superpowers or something cause it's _super_ annoying. Worse than Domino's _luck_ powers. And he wouldn't be wasting his time otherwise. You're worth it.”

 

“I've killed so many people... broken so many lives... how could I—... How could I be worth anything to a man who is—.”

 

“Basically the living embodiment of _good_ in a solid, hunky form of Alpha glory? Mmm, I know. I've killed tons of people too. _Tons._ For worse. I do it for money. I'm just a bad guy who gets paid to fuck up worse guys. But that's my choice... _You_ never had one. Any moron who blames you for that needs to like... take their own dick out of their ass or something. You feel guilty _because_ you're a good person...”

 

Bucky didn't say anything, pausing another moment before finishing.

 

“Your baby won't blame you either.”

 

Bucky looked back up. He couldn't stop the tears no matter how hard he wanted to. Wade came over to calm him down and comfort him again.

 

“Have you... told him?”

 

Bucky shook his head. He still didn't know _how..._ even if Steve...

 

“He'll probably be like, soooooooo happy. He looks like a family man. Plus for your trial, you'll be like late term and close to popping, so the jury's gonna wanna go soft on you no matter what bastards they pick for the job. Although, technically, you shouldn't even be put on trial because they're basically violating so many Geneva Conventions treating you like this, but still. Mini Cap~. Oh! Here, I got you this. Bob told me it would counteract what they gave you for birth control and protect the baby. He's trustworthy. He said Hydra wants you back but he's not touchin' that drama with a 12 foot whale penis because Cap will probably wipe the floor with their faces and it won't be painless. So... Also, paraphrasing. He did say pole.”

 

Bucky hesitated a moment but took it. Wade helped him calm down a little more.

 

“Man, I wish I had Al here... she's _way_ better at pep talk than I am... You good? You still wanna destroy Hydra for everything they've done? Make it up to the people they hurt?”

 

Bucky stayed quiet a long while, just observing the map laid out on the table. Ellie was in Wade's lap now, still drinking her tea and eating a cookie.

 

“I want to protect my...”

 

Wade smiled as Bucky took the crayon offered. They had shit to plan.

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sniff*sniff*
> 
> i'm not crying, there's just... something in my eyes, ugh, i think i cut a rotten onion somewhere...
> 
> I HAVE A LOT OF ONIONS AND THEY NEED TO BE CUT OKAY!!!
> 
> but i really am such a damn tease, aren't I? i might be a little fucked up, i am not kidding about that next one... if you thought this one was tough, be ready for some of them natasha feels~ ;)
> 
> there ain't no wade to lighten up the load either...


	14. Mercy for the Widows. (Pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky holds no illusions for why Natalia is there.
> 
> Natasha tells Steve a piece of her story...
> 
> And something more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up y'all~ terribly translated russian ahead <3
> 
> as always, thanks to the lovely and ever beautiful:
> 
> mistress google translate~
> 
> and of course
> 
> ANGST
> 
> and onions~
> 
> ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

.oOo.

 

Steve wasn't mad at Natasha. He wasn't. He knew it wasn't personal.

 

But then it was. For them at least.

 

But in the end, he knew it wouldn't matter. At the very least, it was Natasha. He knew she had a past with his mate. Something she wouldn't speak about. And he knew she'd at least treat him like a human being. Still, he couldn't bring himself to say anything to her on the ride back. Even as she stared at him, that same curious gaze she'd had when they were running from S.H.I.E.L.D. the first time. Or Hydra, really... It all seemed to be meshing together at this point, and he was wondering if there had really been anything worth saving.

 

“Are you mad?”

 

“I'm not mad...”

 

She stayed quiet a moment.

 

“But you _are_ mad...”

 

Steve sighed, glancing at her with a brow raised.

 

“You're still a terrible liar...”

 

“Not at you, Natasha...”

 

“Kinda figured... they did just accuse Steve Rogers of thinking with his penis like the average Alpha knothead.”

 

Steve gave a huff.

 

“Are you trying to get me mad at you?”

 

“You love him...”

 

_He—..._

 

Steve stayed quiet for a long moment.

 

He didn't answer.

 

Getting back didn't calm him down as much as he'd hoped. He had to remind himself that Natasha was a friend. That she wouldn't hurt him... She gave him half a soft smile to reassure him and he sighed.

 

“He was strong... when I knew him. I know things are different now but... I'm not here for them.”

 

Steve couldn't help the surprise that crossed his face at Natasha's words. But it was reminder enough. He gave a nod before they went in. She followed behind but gave some leeway in distance. Bucky was sleeping when they stepped inside, wrapped in a blanket and bundled up on one of the arms of the couch. He always seemed so tired and Steve still couldn't help worrying about it... He walked over and his mate's eyes drifted open, still half sleepy.

 

“Hey, Buck...”

 

It was a moment of Steve soothing him as he woke, and another before Bucky registered Natasha there, but when he did... He seemed to know exactly why she was there. The look that followed was impassive, resigned. And Steve didn't know what was worse but he let his friend do her job, taking himself aside once he made sure Bucky was okay. And to calm himself down once more.

 

.oOo.

 

“Они отчаялись.”

_(They are getting desperate.)_

 

Natasha didn't bother lying to him. The small smile creeping up on her.

 

“Да.”

_(Yes.)_

 

Bucky stayed quiet a moment. Natalia... his little spider. Grown into a Widow. He watched as she dragged a chair there and sat down in front of him. Swallowing the lump in his throat as those piercing— _innocent—_ green eyes stared back at him. Sharp with determination— _fear—_... hardened from the years she'd experienced. Soft with something— _betrayal—_ he could never hope to ask her for, or deserve for what he'd done to her...

 

“Я здесь не для меня...”

_(I am not here for me...)_

 

Bucky nodded, turning his gaze down.

 

“Чего они хотят?”

_(What do they want?)_

 

“Вы знаете, что они хотят...”

_(You know what they want...)_

 

He let out a humorless chuckle but it quickly broke down into silent crying.

 

“У них уже нет всех доказательств, в которых они нуждаются?”

_(Do they not already have all the proof they would need?)_

 

She didn't answer. Giving him a moment. Then taking a breath. They would expect something from her. And she would do her job. But she wasn't going to do so by hurting him if she could avoid it... He'd been through enough of that.

 

“Что ты помнишь?”

( _What do you remember?)_

 

He told her. About the little girl he'd seen. About the little girl he'd _spared_. Under Hydra. Against their command. He told her _everything_ about that day. That mission specifically. About the young woman she'd grown into...

 

“Ее глаза были такими же ... такими же, как—...”

_(Her eyes were the same... the same as—...)_

 

She gave pause for a moment, knowing what he would say.

 

“Ты сказал Стиву об этом?”

_(Did you tell Steve about this?)_

 

Bucky was quiet a moment.

 

“Я не заслуживаю его доброты...”

_(I do not deserve his kindness...)_

 

“Он бы умолял отличаться.”

_(He would beg to differ.)_

 

“Он упрямый.”

_(He is stubborn.)_

 

She gave a smile at that. Steve had been focusing on other things to help him recover, no doubt...

 

“Это правда. То, что он любит тебя, сделает его более упрямым...”

_(This is true. That he loves you will make him more stubborn...)_

 

Bucky's breath hitched as he looked back up at her with something of pain and _hope_. Disbelief written there. Like he wanted to believe those words but was already piecing together exactly why they couldn't or shouldn't be true. She took a breath of her own and got up. He stopped her.

 

“Скажи ему...”

_(Tell him...)_

 

Even without asking, she knew exactly what he meant. And she could see in his eyes exactly what he felt for his mate. Exactly what he didn't want to hide anymore. And before she could even ask if he was sure—.

 

“ _Пожалуйста..._ ”

_(Please...)_

 

.oOo.

 

Natasha took a breath as she stepped outside to where Steve was. He didn't turn to her. She knew that look.

 

“Would you say 3 months is too little to fall for someone?”

 

“I'd say it's a matter of circumstance.”

 

Wasn't everything? Steve still didn't look at her. He held in his breath, still letting the thoughts run.

 

“I love him...”

 

It was easier to admit out loud than he thought it would be. But he'd known for a while. Maybe from the start... at least that he'd end up here.

 

“I know... He needs that, Steve... someone on his side. He's been through a lot. Enough... I'm glad to know... it's you.”

 

Steve's breath hitched at the words and he closed his eyes, barely able to get out the next words.

 

“What did he tell you?”

 

She stayed silent for a little while.

 

“What he told me was less important than what he... wanted me to tell you. And then... there's what I was willing to tell you. I think at this point, you deserve to know. You deserve my honesty. He trusts you. I do too... I told you my mate died before I could figure out just who that unlucky person was... I lied.”

 

Steve looked back at her. The implication already sinking in and his heart along with it.

 

“No one ever talks about it. But... kids can sometimes... figure it out on their own. Based on the marks, as small as they are. I was maybe... 11, 12? She was 9. Had these big, _beautiful_ amber eyes... platinum blonde hair... I remember her... down to the freckles that dotted her nose. I didn't care about what I would be as long as I was with her... And we were under the same program. Under the same... _loving_ ministrations of the Red Room. She wasn't as strong as I was... in some ways... and she was stronger... in others... He taught me that. To always cherish her. What little time I had with her... He taught us so much... was nice in what little ways he could be.”

 

She gave pause and Steve let her take it. He wouldn't ask her to continue.

 

“They did their best... to break us. Only the _breakable_ ones... She was the first to break. And when she did, they ordered him to kill her... I watched him... fight against his programming so hard. He refused. And when he did, they did their best to break him. Literally. Just brutally, kicked his leg out from under him, broke it. Waited for the pain to push him far enough. He still wouldn't. So they broke her... _Every single bone in her body..._ And they had us watch. Listen to every single scream. And then they let us be... At that point, it became a mercy. So he pulled the trigger. Forced his leg back into place and bit down his own scream. Business as usual.”

 

Steve let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Shuddered. He could figure. Would've expected it. With everything his mate had been through, everything his friend had been through... and he knew that wasn't the end of it. Not the beginning, not even the half of it...

 

“They never thought about what they did to him. It took less than a week before that mercy was extended to every other girl meant to be trained and graduate with me. He killed them. All of them. And the only reason I was spared was because the Soviets thought to put in a failsafe in case they ever lost control of him. He managed to slip me that message. I was lucky. They did manage to get to me. Yell the word just as he would pull the trigger. But they were a moment too late. If I hadn't known the word, If I hadn't whispered it. If I hadn't taken his mercy like the coward I was—.”

 

“It doesn't make you a coward to want to save someone. Even if that person is _you..._ Not when you're alone...”

 

She gave a huff. Calming down a bit, responding playfully if to lighten the mood.

 

“Steve Rogers always knows just what to say, doesn't he?”

 

“Not always...”

 

He offered an open arm for her and she took it. And despite being another Alpha, he found himself responding the same way to the distress. Offering what comfort he could. Happy she was willing to take it. He'd left his family behind in 1945. What little... _pack_ he'd had left. But he knew what this was... and he'd be damned if he let anyone tear it apart now... They stayed quiet for a while before Natasha spoke again.

 

“He's gained weight...”

 

“I know, he was underweight before, so I've been trying to keep him fed.”

 

“He's a little bit pudgy.”

 

Steve pulled away a bit and raised a brow. Natasha raised one back with that same half smile of hers and made a small gesture to indicate Bucky had put on a few pounds _specifically_ at his lower midsection. Steve's eyes widened and he looked away, immediately turning red. He knew what she was implying but it just... it wasn't possible... right?

 

After another moment, she sighed, pulling away.

 

“Well, I guess I have a story to tell them and they won't be  _too_ happy about it.”

 

Steve gave a small smile. The words were a comfort, but his thoughts came back to the reason his friend was alive today. Had survived long enough for Steve to meet her...

 

“That word...”

 

The same somber expression passed her face and his next words weren't a question so much as a realization. And he felt his heart sinking once more, all the more for it.

 

“He wanted you to tell me...”

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i lied... steve's the giant cushion of this chapter... though he still, technically, is no wade~
> 
> so i realized last minute some people probably thought natasha could tell he was pregnant and that bucky was telling her to tell steve, but nuo~
> 
> of course it would be something else! whaddaya take me for?
> 
> and let's be honest, she would probably be the type to drag it out as long as possible to see how long it takes the idiot to figure it out, or for bucky to build up the courage, she did give steve a hint though, i know you gais are eager~
> 
> but as in the tags...
> 
> it will get worse before it gets better...
> 
> ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
> 
> i'm a masochistic and sadistic demon, what did you expect?
> 
> i did morph into a giant baby writing her story though... but i couldn't stop myself, there were just so many fucking onions i had to cut through, and it just seemed like the perfect something or other for plot devices that i needed!
> 
> namely that delicious delicious word and the dark horizon i see it approaching with~
> 
> <3<3<3
> 
> on a side note, i may be taking about a week or two long break, i'll be pretty busy the coming weekend and following week so i just don't know if I'll have thymes to post. I need to get more seasonings for the hot sauce marinade... i still plan on writing, just not posting, but i will more than likely need that break anyway because of... stuffs... so don't get your hopes up but i *may* squeeze out another chapter just before it... BUT
> 
> i make no guarantees...
> 
> *squints*
> 
> NO CAPES!
> 
> on another side note... i started working on the stucky demon/angel war prize bucky fic... and it is atrociously filthy... it's very wrong in the most terrible and wonderful ways, and i want to feel ashamed... but i don't~
> 
> <3


	15. Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha gives her report.
> 
> Steve gets a new mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a one shot
> 
> of that story, for it... the one i mentioned... of the angel/demon stucky au, still bottom bucky of course... and such filthy filthy trash garbage, all the bad things...
> 
> it's terrible... i regret everything, i stink, i took a bath in garbage and i think that's what happened here
> 
> but really i have no remorse because i'm a terrible demon, which in retrospect makes me a great demon? huh...
> 
> here's a link, click at your own discretion:
> 
> [What's One More Sin...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19146130)
> 
> heed the warnings, it is pure, nasty, and corrupting, and you will absolutely not be fine by the end of it...
> 
> alas, we now return back to our regularly scheduled program~

.oOo.

 

Steve was told to stay outside when Natasha was giving them her report. Of course, they probably should've figured she'd slip him a bug. Set low enough for only someone like him to hear.

 

It was almost funny, how many precautions they were taking. He hadn't even been allowed to wait just outside of the room they were in. Being sent directly to Fury's office instead. Fury seemed to know exactly what Agent Romanoff had done, but busied himself with paperwork, not bothering to ask.

 

If Steve was being completely honest, he was surprised by how much Fury had been willing to do for him and his mate. And he could see how dealing with the aftermath of everything, trying to smoke out Hydra from the rat holes they'd built, was affecting him. It was the most tired he'd ever seen his boss. And it had Steve wondering if it hadn't just been better to destroy it all and start from scratch.

 

With Pierce having disappeared, it gave an example of just how deeply Hydra had woven themselves into S.H.I.E.L.D..

 

They'd taken down the helicarriers that day, and taken away what was likely Hydra's greatest Asset... Steve hated thinking of his mate that way, but he was happy to have taken him away from Hydra.

 

They were still digging through information. A lot of it encrypted. To find out exactly what Hydra had been hiding. And who was still hiding among them. Whatever they could find on Bucky had been the first priority. Numerous terrorist acts and assassinations all led back to him. He was effective in the field and what he was tasked with if nothing else. And if he had been a willing member of Hydra, Steve would fully understand how they were treating him.

 

But the evidence was showing that he hadn't been. And Steve could guess that the idea of Bucky walking free after there'd been so much blood on his hands, whether he wanted it there or not, wasn't something that sat well with them.

 

What they were failing to realize was that Bucky was another one of Hydra's victims. He didn't have a choice. It was blood long dried, and a lot of it had been his own. Lives had been lost, but hurting his mate in some form of wickedly callous retribution wouldn't fix anything. Bucky had just moved from one cage to another and it killed Steve thinking they might have any chance to convict him.

 

“ _I think he needs psychiatric help.”_

 

“ _Based off what you told us, Agent Romanoff, he broke down just from having_ spared _someone. Your written report—.”_

 

“ _Emphasizes exactly that._ _Wouldn't you feel conflicted about being forced to kill someone's entire family? About what mercy would even be in that situation? He couldn't kill a child. And he doesn't know if she's better or worse for it but he knows it's his fault. He lives with that guilt. Sounds to me like you sent me in just to confirm what Rogers already told you.”_

 

“ _I don't think—.”_

 

“Do you have a lawyer for him yet?”

 

Steve looked up, surprised.

 

“N-no... no. Not yet...”

 

Fury took out a file and slid it over to Steve to look over. He was quiet a moment, but when he heard the footsteps outside, he could guess why he'd done it.

 

“Agent Romanoff was looking into it for you. She's narrowed it down a bit.”

 

He opened the file and glanced over it at the same time the door opened. It was clear they suspected something. He turned to see one of the overdecorated men consistently in attendance for the reports. He seemed surprised before exchanging a few words with Fury. Fury gave him something and then he left.

 

Steve looked up again and Fury gave a nod.

 

“ _What would have stopped him from sparing her as a form of torture? Breaking down only because he realized how this could haunt him. This woman sounds like a potential witness to put him in jail, as he should be.”_

 

“ _His orders. Disobeying Hydra was never something easy for him. Whenever he did, it was always fighting against malice. Not to commit it. She reminded him of someone... maybe his little sister or... someone else. She sounded like someone who could give an honest opinion, if she wants to. Whether it serves you or not. Aren't we looking for truth?_

 

“ _You seem to trust the Hydra Agent a great deal.”_

 

“ _He's not a Hydra Agent. He never got the option of choosing. He was more of a weapon... for them at least. And I trust Steve. He may be stubborn, but his judgment has yet to steer him wrong.”_

 

“ _The Captain saved your life. I can only imagine the loyalties you might hold to him.”_

 

“ _He's a good man. I joined S.H.I.E.L.D. to do good. And it was nearly taken over by Hydra. My loyalties will stay with those that have good intentions.”_

 

Steve gave a breath at the words. He could hear a pen scribbling. Practically hear the frown on the man's face. His breath caught at the next words.

 

“ _We have reason to believe the Soviets implanted a failsafe in the Winter Soldier... not listed under Hydra's files. Do you have any knowledge of this?”_

 

“ _I do. I don't know what it is if that's what you're asking.”_

 

“ _The files we have on you regarding the Red Room beg to differ... the only survivor of what should have been 18 other girls. Other_ Widows... _”_

 

Steve could hear his own heart pounding in his ears.

 

“ _Because a scared little girl is a perfect candidate for reliability. I was pissing myself, expecting to die that day and I'm sure you read that in the file. I don't think I would have caught what they'd done to stop him even if I wanted to.”_

 

There was anger in her words. A light way of telling them to back off but Steve couldn't quite feel relief.

 

“ _Very well... do you have reason to believe that Captain Rogers would somehow come across this information? Because, perhaps it would be better suited in trusted hands that can make use of it.”_

 

“ _I... have reason to believe that if the Soldier had any awareness of this failsafe, he would want his mate to know... But I also know Steve Rogers. Even if he had the option, he would avoid being made aware, even denying the opportunity. Because he wouldn't want his mate to be at any risk...”_

 

“ _And if you're wrong, Agent Romanoff?”_

 

She stayed quiet a moment, then gave a breath.

 

“ _Then there's no guarantee it would work. According to you, the Soldier can't be trusted anyway. And it's not something the Soviets would have written down either. Too sensitive for the average agent to know. So I'd say it's a lost cause... Maybe someone like Alexander Pierce would know, but seeing as you haven't prioritized finding him—.”_

 

“ _That's enough, Agent Romanoff... you're dismissed.”_

 

She struck a nerve. She always did... She'd turned it around on them. Made the report she was supposed to be giving into an interrogation for them. And they'd only realized that now. Steve considered himself lucky to have her as a friend. He gave a breath as he heard the feed cut.

 

Pierce was a subject that had been avoided since he'd disappeared. Many other confirmed Hydra agents along with him. Fury had put Natasha and Hill on it covertly enough, tried to convince them that flushing out the rats should be priority. But it seemed like they wanted the entire thing swept under the rug...

 

Either way, he'd have to thank her later...

 

He looked back at the files in front of him. Surprised to hear Fury speak up.

 

“Banner might be able to help you out with that one.”

 

.oOo.

 

“You lied for me...”

 

“Well, considering you couldn't lie to save your own life...”

 

“Not my own life, no... Thank you, Natasha.”

 

“Don't thank me yet. They still wanna see you. Mission briefing.”

 

“I have more to thank you for than just that...”

 

She gave a smile before mouthing the words 'go' to him. He took a breath but went. And sure enough, the men were quiet when he got there.

 

They were quiet for a long while afterward, still going through paperwork. Steve keeping himself calm and composed as they did. Finally, they seemed to get everything organized. And Steve could recognize the map brought out as different S.H.I.E.L.D. facilities. Some of them marked out. Others highlighted. It was something he would've expected them to show to Fury. Or that Fury would have come to him about. His brows furrowed.

 

“What have you been doing the past hour or so, Captain Rogers?”

 

“Looking over files the Widow collected for potential lawyers... why?”

 

He said it blandly. Distracted. Because he was. Looking over that map. And it was certainly a half truth, but they wouldn't be able to tell.

 

“What is this?”

 

The man paused a moment but gave a nod before answering.

 

“As you can see. It's a map of S.H.I.E.L.D. facilities.”

 

“I meant the markings.”

 

“Of course. They're being targeted. The agents as well. Entire facilities have been left decimated, without a single soldier in wake and not much but a gory crime scene to show for. He leaves very few people alive, though they say they won't report to anyone but Fury on what happened as per threat of the individual doing this. And we need more than that. We have reason to believe he may be working for Hydra. Possibly with your beloved _mate._ ”

 

Steve's eyes darkened but he held back the growl.

 

“He was noted in the same area.”

 

Steve took a breath and relaxed his position, giving a tight smirk.

 

“So whaddaya want me to do about it?”

 

It was clear they were getting irritated with the Alpha behaviors he'd fallen so easily into. After they'd been so thrilled, it was ironic. But he figured they maybe weren't expecting him to be so protective or territorial about his mate. If they wanted to make this a pissing contest, Steve wasn't gonna hesitate to make it clear where that line was drawn.

 

The man seemed to pause, searching for information before continuing.

 

“Take him out. Allegedly, it's just one guy. But the maniac has been spotted using swords as preferred weapons. It also seems he's trying to tamper with the data we have present in each facility, but he's either completely crazy or just an idiot because he doesn't seem to remotely know what he's doing. Almost all the servers are locked out when we get to them. Like there have been too many failed login attempts.”

 

“Romanoff's more of a spy than I am, why not send her?”

 

“Because we've lost too many good men to this guy and her expertise isn't quite _suited_. Fury doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. He's armed, extremely dangerous, and wearing—.”

 

.oOo.

 

“—A red suit.”

 

“What do you know about this?”

 

Fury took a breath and a sip of his coffee.

 

“What the Agents have told me.”

 

“What have they told you? Who is he and why hasn't he been caught?”

 

“He's a merc. Goes by the alias _'Deadpool'_. The Agents he let go? All people I know I can trust. Rumor has it he can heal from _anything._ Not exactly light on the violence either. But I'm sure they mentioned that.”

 

“Why haven't you gone after him?”

 

“Because he's targeting Hydra. And I'm betting they didn't tell you that... So unless he's gone rogue, I doubt he's working _with_ Hydra. Though I'm sure they made a jab about him possibly working with your mate? That one I can't confirm or deny. Apparently, they were seen together. And if it's true, it means your mate might be able to identify just about anyone who _is_ Hydra...”

 

Steve paused a moment. He hadn't wanted to pressure Bucky with his recovery, but if he could _help_ them sort the mess...

 

“We have an ally?”

 

“Hydra has an enemy. An unpredictable, very hard to kill, enemy.”

 

“But you haven't bothered approaching?”

 

“Because he's taking down S.H.I.E.L.D. in the process. He's not the best hacker. But he's setting the system up for failure. With Pierce gone, the only way to override security of it without two top tier retinal scans would be complete system failure. There are already gaps. It's weaker.”

 

Steve stayed quiet. Nick took pause before setting the cup down, leaning forward and sighing.

 

“Look, this... Hydra ran a lot deeper than I initially thought. Maybe half of my team can be trusted. And I still don't have clear cut lines on which. They noticed. And it's not surprising they'd try to protect their own.”

 

“If they noticed, why not try to keep this under wraps?”

 

“Because the one thing they had that stood a chance against this guy? Not exactly available. They're still trying to take back the control they had. From what I hear, Deadpool is damn near unkillable. Extremely so considering what's happened to him... And either they think the soldier that beat their greatest Asset can help, or they're setting up an ambush for the both of you. I'd send Romanoff—.”

 

“But they'd get suspicious...”

 

Fury gave a nod. Steve stayed quiet a moment. If anything, he needed to find out what Deadpool knew and how. And who's side he was really on.

 

“What are my orders?”

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plot ~thickens~
> 
> ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
> 
> okaaay, i'm off to take that break now, i will see you all in a week or two or maybe sometime later but not too soon? toodles~ <3<3<3


	16. The Wild Card (Pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky still isn't sure how to tell his mate but it's nice to have a friend in all of this...
> 
> Steve takes a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hulloooooooooo~. What a nice little break I had. I'm sure you've all been waiting very patiently~. <3
> 
> One step forward...

.oOo.

 

Bucky looked down at the small bump that had been growing day by day...

 

The proof that Wade had been right.

 

He had thought about it. The fact that he would show. But he hadn't figured it would be so soon.

 

He placed his hand there gently. Slightly hesitantly... His chest had been getting more and more tender, puffier. More sensitive to touch, particularly during sex. And even the color of his nipples had gotten deeper. Among _other_ things... It seemed like the more that time passed, the more he could note all the symptoms the pregnancy brought with it.

 

He gave a breath.

 

For once he was... _creating life..._

 

His other hand came to rest along with the flesh one. His thumbs rubbing soft circles into the skin before he finished putting on clothes. Another one of Steve's shirts. His Alpha's scent a comfort... Soft shorts. It was getting a bit more difficult to put on some forms of clothes. And explaining that to Steve, to his Alpha. He was still wondering how...

 

But Steve deserved to know... He knew that much.

 

His mate had been assigned another mission. One that was taking up most of his time. Something more important by the gaze he would set on Bucky... the worry he would try to hide. Steve still wouldn't press. Wouldn't ask Bucky much about Hydra, but with Wade coming around every so often, always just missing each other, Bucky almost wished he would. Wished he could help Steve. He couldn't know if he... if Steve would... to _agree_ with what Wade was doing... Bucky still wasn't so sure himself... even if he understood why Wade would choose the path he'd made.

 

_But with the threat of Hydra still there, he—._

 

He caught flashes, holding his head and willing the feelings to go away. _They'd been getting more frequent... the reminders of who he was... what he'd done..._ But... he had something more important to worry about now... something that deserved his best. And he—.

 

The doorbell rang, and he sighed. Guessing perfectly who it was. He let himself smile a bit at seeing Ellie. If anything... it was nice to have a... friend... in all of this. However strange he was.

 

.oOo.

 

Ellie was an _incredible_ child. The amount of compassion and understanding the little girl held was unreal. And it was a wonder how she could relay tact better than her own Oma, who had been a soldier in his own right.

 

“Her papa was a soldier too. Sometimes I hate it...”

 

Bucky gave a quiet hum, looking from the kitchen with Wade. Ellie was eating some homemade pudding that Bucky had made for her. Chocolate with chocolate sprinkles and chocolate cookie crumbs, and thick whipped cream on top. Still hot with a chocolate drizzle and layered.

 

“But she was born into it, you know? Born into a life where she was... where _I_ was always running. And I hate that I couldn't just... set her down with a nice family. Leave all of this behind. Keep her safer with someone else, keep her away from this kind of world... But she's... she's all I have left... I mean apart from Althea, but she's... you know, lovely company in the bitterest and crabbiest form. Constantly there to give you a reality check~... I just can't help feeling like Ellie's missing so much, missing a part of herself, like her other half... There's so much _I'm_ still missing from the day she was born, it's just... all a blur. And I'm the one who gave birth to her!”

 

“Wade...”

 

 

The merc had tears welling in his eyes, Bucky had placed a hand on his shoulder to let him know it was alright, but of course Wade apologized anyway.

 

 

“I know... shit. Sorry. I... the cancer came around by the time I got pregnant. My mate. He was still around then. We met on a mission. But he'd kinda gone rogue and they sent me to kill him? Except, you know, he kinda heals from anything so that didn't work out very well. I made a _different_ call. Sorta. We ended up mating right then and there, it was pretty great but... I guess I didn't realize I was on the wrong side then. I brought him home and my boss happened to be _really_ happy about that. Less about the mating thing since that honeymoon clause still stands for marked military.”

 

Armed forces that meet their mate on the battlefield are allowed to go home for a while, and enjoy what would essentially be the 'honeymoon' phase, should they choose to mate. It's too much of a distraction otherwise. Bucky wasn't sure if it was still in place now. But it mostly covered allies and he was... sure Steve was a special case... particularly with Hydra...

 

“We were mated almost 7 years before Ellie decided to make her debut. I'm pretty sure he was fertile, but I sure as hell wasn't. Felt bad about it, but neither of us was really in any rush for kids. Wasn't sure he even really wanted them, but he seemed happy at the time. Not so much with Stryker hanging around... My mate, he followed orders. But him and Stryker... didn't exactly hit it off. Our boss wasn't exactly a good person though... My mate convinced me to go rogue. AWOL. We left the country. Thought about the baby instead... I found out I had cancer then. Couldn't take treatment without killing her... Figured between me and her, she had a better chance at being someone _good_ in the world. Stryker followed us and...”

 

Wade seemed to drift off a moment. But he came back to himself, wiping away one of the tears before it fell. He took a breath.

 

“I can't remember after that. Next thing I know, I've got my mate's healing factor, scars across my skin, and I'm trying to save the baby I just gave birth to. He—...I knew he was there, he went after Stryker but... I don't know if he'd still want me like this... if he even remembers me... I just know I need to take care of Ellie...”

 

The little girl looked over at them. She'd finished her pudding and Wade gave her a little wave and soft smile before heading over to his daughter again. That same cheery merc, picking her up, letting her put the cup in the sink, and handing her to Bucky.

 

“Well, that's enough of my sob story, right? We gotta make sure you have your own happy ending after all~.”

 

 

.oOo.

 

Apprehend the Mercenary. Avoid violent engagement. Capture if possible.

 

Now they were playing the sit and wait game. Fury had managed to spot him a loaner. It had been a while since Steve worked with him, but he certainly didn't mind.

 

“ _Hey Cap, how much you wanna bet Nat woulda handled this in half the time it'll take us?”_

 

Despite himself, Steve couldn't help the laugh.

 

“I don't know Clint. Stay focused. Target's been known to be—.”

 

“ _A wild card? Noted. Think he's workin' for Hydra though?”_

 

“Whether he's an ally or a foe. That's what we're here to find out.”

 

He looked up to the hawk's nest Barton had stationed himself at. Steve signed for him to adjust the sensitivity of his hearing aids. The line for the earpieces they were using was secure, but he knew they'd have to be cautious. Clint smirked and signed back an okay before doing just that.

 

It was a long while of quiet. For anyone else.

 

Steve's hearing was a lot better than it used to be...

 

“ _Cap—.”_

 

“Hold your position. Get a gauge of where he is.”

 

Another little while passed.

 

“ _I have eyes on target.”_

 

“Hold your fire.”

 

“ _He's closing in, Cap.”_

 

Steve didn't take the time to say 'I know'. Silently intercepting the merc to immediately pin him against the wall with the shield. Hand clasped over his mouth so he stayed quiet. The merc was breathing heavy like he'd been caught off guard. And the smell of blood on him was thick. When Deadpool finally stopped with the muffled sounds, Steve responded.

 

“I need you to keep an eye on the perimeter. I just caught our rogue.”

 

“Ugh. Not Rogue. I don't even have her fabulously voluminous hair or a southern accent~. Wade Wilson. I'm a big fan.”

 

Steve frowned. At the very least, he was managing to whisper. Somewhat.

 

“Why are you taking out S.H.I.E.L.D. facilities? Agents, data. You're a merc, who hired you?”

 

Wade seemed to pause a moment, tilting his head.

 

“I'm not taking out—Oh-ho~! You already know that answer... which means you probably know we don't have a lot of time to talk. I have an inside guy.”

 

“S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

 

“Hydra~.”

 

Steve let out a growl, jostling the merc who immediately made a gesture for peace.

 

“Easy! Bob's harmless, and I'm a delicate Omega...”

 

Steve paused, pulling back. The scent of him confirming what he said but Steve didn't release the hold. He smelled familiar...

 

“Seem pretty sturdy to me.”

 

“Ha. I know, right~ow—ow! Okay. Okay! I'll be good. _Jesus fucking Christ_ , you're strong.”

 

“Why are you doing this?”

 

“You're asking me? Why haven't you done it? It's so your baby mama can rest easy—.”

 

At the mention, Steve nearly lost it. He didn't know if he could trust this guy, and before he knew it, the surge of Alpha rage had him pinning the strange Omega by the throat with his shield, a low and threatening growl being released. A sound he didn't even know he could make.

 

“ _Cap!”_

 

Clint's voice didn't bring him back. The arrow to separate them did. By the time Steve registered what he'd done enough to feel guilty about it, the merc was coughing on the ground.

 

“Shit— _shit._ Remind me not to piss you off, _Alpha._ Ugh, if I weren't mated to an even bigger manimalistic _asshole_ , I'd swoon at the protective instinct. More like _overprotective_. I wouldn't hurt him, he babysits my daughter...”

 

Steve winced, but forced himself to press.

 

“What do you know about my mate?”

 

“We're besties! He hasn't told you about me? What am I saying, of course he hasn't... I promised him I'd take down Hydra cause he maybe sorta kinda helped me with some anit-mutie baddies. He could probably list almost every single person you're after, and I'd recommend him in action but he's weary. Kinda busy making a life which, trust me, takes _a lot_ out of a guy, and he doesn't have the heart to kill. Know you don't prefer it either, Captain America~. But sparing psychopaths never sat well with me... Especially not with a kid at home.”

 

Steve blinked at the words, but quickly helped the merc up.

 

“Don't say sorry. Now I know there's no point in giving you shovel talk. But you know~..................”

 

Steve could barely register what else Wade's mouth was running with. A single detail now iterated twice sticking in his mind like a strong glue. He barely heard Clint.

 

“ _Cap? We got incoming...”_

 

Steve snapped himself out of his thoughts, his eyes darkening. Tensing his jaw.

 

“Wade. We'll talk about it later.”

 

“Oh! Right~. Please, call me Deadpool.”

 

They lined up back to back watching agents pour in and surround them. They'd updated the uniforms. But it was clear to see they were decidedly,  _not_ S.H.I.E.L.D....

 

“ _Well, now I know why Fury called me in...”_

 

.oOo.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3<3<3


	17. Secret's Out (Pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The motion is set.
> 
> Steve needs Bucky safe...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know why.
> 
> but.
> 
> i'm about ready to stab a bitch.
> 
> there needs to be moar baby mama bucky.
> 
> anywho~
> 
> here ya go, has some action gais~.

.oOo.

 

Captain America was just as eloquent in action as his mate was~. Brutal but avoids the kill. Between flying knees enough to knock someone back or—ooh! Right in the _face!!—_ _and_ the unrelenting shield thrown in perfect angles, hitting heads and the like and then always coming back~. Wade could hardly keep up. Normally, he was professional, but he figured Cap might not appreciate the blood and guts everywhere. Even as he slit the throat of another Hydra agent. Snapped the neck of one more. And made another one eat a dirty sock. For _funsies_ ~.

 

There were no S.H.I.E.L.D. agents today apart from Cap and Hawkeye. Considering they'd been set up.

 

 _God_ , this was _fantastic_. And Wade couldn't help thinking about how him and his mate would be _together_ in action.

 

_{You should have worn your white pants.}_

**[You should have worn your white pants~.]**

 

“Ugh~. I know right?”

 

“Wade! Focus!”

 

Ordinarily, he'd stop to fight with those stupid voices, but right now? Arrows were flying, the last one hitting with a line before Hawkeye ziplined down to join the fight, hand to hand. _Ugh, definitely shoulda worn the white pants~._

 

The fight continued with an efficiency dealt out that only two Avengers could manage. Both of them, blond, buff, and Alpha~ and definitively. Never. Once. _Missing!_ Three arrows at once set up a knockback explosion. Cap swung in with his shield once again and another flying knee to finish them off. Using the shield to push more of them back the moment it came back to his hands. _And people said it was a useless frisbee~._ Honestly, it had Wade wanting to spectate and  _drool~._ Hawkeye used his bow to trap one agent in a hold that  _thought_ he'd be catching him off guard, quickly flipping him over and slamming him into the ground just as another came at him just to get a hard round kick sending him into the wall, followed by his buddy thrown at him. _Guess Cap wasn't the only one to not skip leg day~._

 

By the time the last men were taken care of, Wade had a gun ready for every last Hydra agent and—Clint had his last arrow carefully aimed at the merc...

 

Steve sighed, but had him stand down.

 

“Barton...”

 

“So what, we just have him kill them? I thought we might—.”

 

“They're _evil_ Hydra agents—.”

 

“Then they're useful. At least for now. Back then, almost every Hydra agent I came across would rather be dead than captured. Romanoff's on her way now, I just sent the signal.”

 

Wade gave a growl, shooting the gun at the floor a few times, muttering about how he'd let Wolvie do it. It was a valid point though.

 

“Fine! I'll be on my way then—.”

 

“I'm coming with you.”

 

“Wait. Cap—.”

 

“Wait for Romanoff. Tie them up. Tell them I'm in pursuit. Wade. The mainframe?”

 

“Oh, that was the first thing I did. This place is fried. Feed was already blown out though. Pretty convenient if they intended your _disappearance_ , huh?”

 

“Anything else?”

 

“I'm assuming your boss has questions for me~.”

 

Clint was the one to answer.

 

“Yeah, he kinda does.”

 

Wade stared at him a moment.

 

“ _I thought he couldn't hear me._ ”

 

At that, Barton frowned. And Steve sighed and signed a quick 'sorry' to him.

 

“He's got special hearing aids. Tony made some adjustments to them. But most of us learned sign language anyway.”

 

Barton signed a 'thank you' to Steve who ended up sighing again, and blushing.

 

“Aww~. Ain't that sweet. I have a cabbie waiting for me. I probably shouldn't worry him too much. Oh! And Bob gave me this!”

 

He handed a flash drive over to Steve, who gave it to Clint, since he was staying.

 

“It's a virus~. When everything's said and done and all the firewalls are weakened enough? It's designed to help us finish the job~. I don't know where he gets his connections but Bob's great. Make sure he doesn't die!”

 

Clint looked to Steve, but all he could do was just shake his head before following the merc.

 

.oOo.

 

Steve almost didn't register the ride back or anything that Wade had said to him. At a certain point, it all just became ringing. From the amicable introduction to 'Dopinder' to what Wade told him about the mission, what he'd done so far. His mind still rearing on _one_ thing.

 

Coming home... seeing his mate smiling like that, so carefree... He'd only gotten to see that smile a handful of times, but every time he did... his breath hitched. He felt his heart clench at the sight, at his mate keeping a little girl, Wade's pup, entertained...

 

He couldn't stop himself if he'd wanted to. And the moment Bucky saw him, stunned, guilty and embarrassed, flushed bright red, Steve barely paused before doing what he could to make sure his mate knew it was okay. That everything would be okay. Immediately closing the distance between them, and then between their lips. Wade's dramatic gasp in the background drowned out.

 

The pup running to her Oma as the couple shared a kiss that wasn't anywhere near chaste.

 

And still, Bucky immediately apologized.

 

“I'm sorry...”

 

Steve shook his head.

 

“Don't be sorry for doing something I shoulda done a long time ago... Hydra shoulda been priority from the start... I just wish I coulda known sooner, coulda been the one to help you... Just wish you coulda trusted me...”

 

He couldn't stop his thoughts from drifting. To what Natasha said. To what Wade said. Bucky wasn't as thin anymore. He'd been nesting more often. Drifting off, too tired to keep up, always wrapped up in Steve's scent. From what his ma had told him way back when... And his scent... _His scent..._

 

Steve had to stop himself from pulling his mate in to scent him. To look for—.

 

Right now he had other things to worry about. Glancing at the little girl in Wade's arms.

 

“Is there someone at home who can take care of her?”

 

“Mmm... Althea? She's blind. And crabby. Ellie normally ends up taking care of her. But I could have Dopinder stay with them too. They both love Ellie~.”

 

He gave a nod to Wade, then Bucky another kiss before using the band on his own wrist to unlock the tracker on Bucky's. The shock on Bucky's face was clear, but Steve made quick to settle him with another kiss.

 

“Take her home. Stay with them. Wade and I just stirred a hornet's nest and I don't want you alone or _here_ right now.”

 

“Y-you... trust me? To do this?”

 

“I trusted you the moment you chose to stay, Buck...”

 

_The moment you saved me from drowning..._

 

There was so much more Steve wanted to say looking at his mate. The day they fought, his instincts were screaming at him. Begging him to stop. Not a word spoken between them, but he'd been able to see Bucky faltering. The Soldier... faltering. He hadn't been able to stop himself from saving Bucky. _Protecting_ him. Lifting the fallen structures, ready to face death. Ready for his mate to _run_. But Bucky... the helicarrier hadn't given them much time to chat after that. And when the structure gave in, and Steve fell...

 

He hadn't been expecting to wake back up.

 

But his mate had _stayed._

 

 _Saved_ him.

 

He'd made it clear then just how desperate he was, that he was _running_ from something, even before they'd bonded. And Steve could _feel_ him... Even before the bite was set. And he hated the fact that he still couldn't feel Bucky as strongly as he should.

 

Hated that he'd waited this long to do something about the thing that Bucky _feared_. About this monster that wouldn't leave his mate alone. About _Hydra_.

 

If they ever truly cared about stopping Hydra... Bucky would've been the least of their concerns... and he wasn't gonna stand by and be their puppet anymore.

 

“... I was just too stupid to realize it until now, and I need you _safe_.”

 

Bucky seemed upset, like he wanted to say something, that Steve shouldn't do this. But Steve just kissed him again, soothing him.

 

“You could've run from me at any time... but you didn't... you put your trust in me to protect you, and I know I didn't deserve that... But I don't want you to have any reasons to run anymore...”

 

Bucky's face fell to something melancholy and _hopeful_ , and Steve could see the tears welling up again in those same eyes, but the nod came next as they fell. Steve gathered a few things for Bucky, placing the tracker aside as Wade handed Ellie back to his mate.

 

This time... _this time he'd make sure._

 

They saw them off together, Wade telling Dopinder where to go and what back roads to take and avoid, and what to do if they were being followed, with Ellie's help of course, before waving them off. Wade ended up turning to Steve once they were gone.

 

“So what's next Captain—... textbook. Tightwad. Dick. Alpha male... Fuck.”

 

Despite himself, Steve smiled as he finished locking the cuffs on Wade. He did say he was in pursuit...

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like there are a lot of really blond buff alphas in this story... ah well~ <3
> 
> clint has always been one of my great loves, and i feel people often don't do him justice or give him enough love, and don't get me wrong, i love renner's portrayl of him, but clint is another one of those huge, 6'3'' blond motherfuckers who don't know when to quit, and he's a fuckin' badass~ he doesn't miss ever, it's a point given the team he's on, he *can't* miss to keep up with those guys, he's a lovely little shit like wade, and he just wants to do the right thing, what's not to love <3
> 
> i need inspires... i keep flip flopping... :(
> 
> am i forgeting anything? nuoooo... nope. i don't think so~
> 
> eheheheh! toodles~<3


	18. Plans for the Fallout. (Pt. 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve takes Wade in for interrogation.
> 
> Plans are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i totally almost forgot about posting this...
> 
> I NEED INSPIRATION.
> 
> and more mumma bucky...

.oOo.

 

“Remind me again why you gave me this _oh so fancy_ jewelry?”

 

“As far as ' _S.H.I.E.L.D.'_ is concerned, you're trying to sabotage our operations.”

 

“S.H.I.E.L.D.? _Ohhhhhh,_ you mean Hyd—.”

 

“ _Shh._ ”

 

Steve pulled Wade aside to make way and gave a nod to the agents passing by. They still didn't know who to trust, but they had to make this look good. Wade had been brought in for interrogation after having incapacitated nearly every agent sent to help. At least, that was the running story... It would bide their time if anything. Captured Hydra had been moved to a separate facility, with only those working directly under Fury. For _medical_ , to make sure they were _okay._ They all knew Hydra would suspect something, as the higher ups were already barking. But since there was nothing they could prove, Fury didn't have to budge. And he wasn't gonna.

 

Eventually, they came across Natasha, who gave Steve a raised brow and the barest hint of a smirk. But led them to where they needed to be. Small, private interrogation room. All mandated under a team Fury had handpicked, to ensure there was no interference from _anyone_. Maria was there. Natasha stayed. Clint had caught up.

 

Fury stared, the moment they entered the room. He looked somewhere between eerily calm and damn annoyed in that way that only Nick Fury could manage. He had a file in front of him. Waiting as Steve pulled the chair for Wade to sit down. _What a fuckin' gentleman._

 

Wade took one glance at the file and very much would have failed at hiding his smile if not for the mask.

 

“Wade Wilson. Special Ops. 41 confirmed kills. Confirmed capture of Weapon X. Went AWOL and took him with you. And then got dishonorably discharged.”

 

Steve furrowed his brows slightly but stayed quiet.  _Weapon X?_

 

“I was wondering if they got all the paperwork filed for that~.”

 

“Not so much, withdrawn when they realized what Stryker was up to, and not without a fight. Weapon XI, that's what he called you right? A bonafide troublemaker. Guess it doesn't matter now, but you are _way_ over 41...”

 

“Yeah, that Professor really likes to stick his goody-two-shoes nose in everyone's shit, doesn't he? And hey. I'm not a day over 29 I'll have you know.”

 

Fury deadpanned. Flat out.

 

“Your file tells me you're 34.”

 

“Fuck. Okay, fine. But I look great for an Oma of a 4 year old that was mated 7 years before. The only wrinkles I have? Come from cancer~. She's kind of a sweetheart, light on the stress~. I'm a _great_ parent.”

 

“Shit. Mama didn't tell me twice. I wouldn't be able to tell, you're wearin' a mask. Considering what you're willin' to do for her, for your mate's cause, I don't doubt that. You know where he is?”

 

“Nope.”

 

Wade popped the 'p' as he put his feet on up on the table. Fury seemed to soften a bit before his face hardened at the sight of the shoes on the table. He sighed.

 

“Don't you think he'd wanna know his kid?”

 

“He's probably got more important things to worry about...”

 

“Just like you do.”

 

“I don't get a lot of chances to be someone's hero. And I'm sure you're all very lovely people, but it just wasn't working fast enough for me! Bucky boo's gonna run out of time before you end up handling Hydra. Who gives a fuck what those assholes think?”

 

Fury seemed to take a moment and sit back. The room silent. And then he smirked.

 

“I agree. But we can't quite go about it as chaotic as you have been. As much as I appreciate the help, I think there's a more delicate way to do this.”

 

Silence again.

 

“Oh, you're serious. I wasn't sure if I was processing the words right.”

 

Clint was the next to speak up.

 

“If we've got any chance of S.H.I.E.L.D. sticking around, we have to handle this more carefully.”

 

Steve took a breath.

 

“Is that what we want? S.H.I.E.L.D. stickin' around. The way I see it, we tried that the first time, it didn't work. Wade's right, we don't have time to try again. The longer this goes on, the more they try to get to Bucky. And now they're tryin' to get to me too.”

 

Natasha's brow lifted.

 

“It's a lot of resources to lose, a lot to risk, if we can't unweave this web Hydra's built...”

 

“And who would we be risking to do that?”

 

“No one has to be put at risk, Steve, it would just take _time_.”

 

Fury spoke up again.

 

“According to sources, your mate may be able to—.”

 

“ **No**.”

 

It was that same signature stubbornness of Steve's they'd all come to recognize. But bordering a growl and aggression. Even Fury seemed surprised.

 

“I'm not saying to put him in the field, but if he can spot the rats, it would help us _tremendously_.”

 

“ _No._ I don't care who he can spot. Bucky stays out of this. He's done enough. And it's not gonna matter anyway... He's been through enough and there's—... there's more at stake now, I don't want him _anywhere_ near this...”

 

There was something Steve wasn't saying. But it was clearly something that had him worried about his mate...

 

“He doesn't have time. _We_ don't have time. Whatever window we did have, we let Hydra eat up by distracting us. All of us. Now they've dug themselves even further, and this isn't gonna work unless it all goes. You said it yourself, Nick. Whatever was left of S.H.I.E.L.D. by the end of that battle, it wasn't salvageable, and it's gonna blow up in our faces tryin' to fix it. Pierce is gone. And the longer Hydra's in our ranks, the longer _everyone's_ at risk.”

 

Silence fell over the room. Maria looked worried but she ended up mouthing the words 'he's right' to her boss. Nick took a gauge around the room. Natasha looked resigned. Clint had something of a smirk that looked more proud than anything but still a little melancholy. Deadpool just looked startled, blinking.

 

“This got _way_ too real for me, _way_ too quickly...”

 

Nick gave a huff but a nod to the Captain.

 

“Well, looks like you're givin' the orders now, Cap...”

 

Steve took another breath. They discussed further plans. What Wade had done. The people he'd taken out, the facilities he'd weakened. His inside guy, what was on the flashdrive. What Bucky had told him...

 

And what to do.

 

.oOo.

 

Hours passed...

 

The room dwindled. Nick and the rest of the group discovered very quickly that Wade W. Wilson would not, could not, be silenced. Dealing with Barton was enough. Wade was on a completely different level of _annoying._

 

And Steve...

 

Steve didn't even seem fucking phased by it. Either he was too stubborn or too determined or every little thing was going over his head, but he didn't seem to mind Wade one bit. And that just made the merc even more insufferable.

 

Wade's initial plan had been simple enough. Take down each facility, one by one. Total S.H.I.E.L.D. meltdown. Natasha mentioned it being likely that Hydra had off base facilities that would need a second look. So mop up afterwards... The virus would exploit the weaknesses in their systems to finish taking down all the firewalls... and dump every bit of data about Hydra out on the internet. S.H.I.E.L.D.'s along with it. This would give them every piece of information they needed without digging for the mop up once everything was all said and done. The other thing was to make sure they knew who the Hydra agents were. Steve also wanted to minimize crossfire casualties as much as possible. This was war... he'd make that number '0' if he could.

 

But cockroaches always start moving as soon as the rug is lifted away. It was a lot of intricate mapping and data to transfer over, Steve paying attention to every detail in ways none of them were sure how he still had energy for. He refined every detail and tact needed for Wade's plan, ensuring it was something solid, rather than the crude rough draft it had been. Because he'd be damned if he let any of Hydra escape after this...

 

The others left, little by little. Natasha had taken the flashdrive. Clint, the list of names. Fury and Maria a piece of the hologram map they'd set up, layered so one part couldn't be understood without the others. Steve was still working on the third. Still looking over those last few details with Wade falling asleep, still in cuffs.

 

“Ughhh... are we done yet? Ellie's gotta be asleep by now, it's _way_ past her bedtime. And my bedtime. I'm a parent you know, I sleep on her schedule.”

 

Steve looked up for a second, the tiredness in his eyes showing well enough in its own right.

 

“Sorry. I just—.”

 

“Don't apologize for protecting him... Even if you are going a little overboard. There's no such thing as too obsessive when it comes to love~.”

 

Steve paused. That... didn't sound right, but he was too tired to really think straight about it. He'd about finished anyway...

 

“You know, he said you used to get like this almost every night before a mission. You'd barely sleep. Look over every detail. You didn't wanna lose any men on the field. That's why you were always there to lead the Howlies in... Whatever it was, they were your pack... You'd go off on your own like a _'damn moron'_ countless times, but you'd never let them take a chance without you there to back them up...”

 

Steve looked up again, the words coming to him at the same time Wade said them.

 

_You need to watch your own back before you can watch anyone else's._

“You need to watch your own back before you can watch anyone else's...”

 

“Logan... he's your mate.”

 

That's why he smelled so familiar. Wade seemed to give a half smile under the mask.

 

“Best he is at what he does... but what he does isn't very nice. I always kinda wondered how you two became friends.”

 

“He was the one always watching my flank... callin' me an idiot for rushing in, fists first.”

 

“Mmm, sounds like him... first thing he did after we mated was call me a 'fuckin' moron'. It was the nicest thing he ever said to me~. Apart from, you know, all the sweet nothings and endearments when I was pregnant with Ellie. Hey, speaking of baby daddies~...”

 

Steve couldn't stop his face from falling at the words. The worry, hope, shock, all too clearly written. He ran a hand through his hair trying to process it.

 

“Is he... _Is he really_ —...?”

 

He choked off the words, barely able to stop the tears welling. He hadn't been sure what to expect, still waiting on those results from Bruce, but he'd been hoping. _If Bucky was already pregnant..._

 

“O-ohhh... you didn't know. I made a boo boo... _Don't tell him I told you—shit..._ he's probably gonna know. Fuck it. Yes. He's very pregnant. Kinda already shows. I'm surprised you didn't notice. Though my mate did say you were dense as fuck for some things, as painfully observant as you were for others.”

 

Steve took a breath.

 

“I... I need a moment.”

 

He took a step outside, going to the bathroom a few rooms down to clear his head and splash water in his eyes, trying to keep awake. Leaving a small key on the table in place of the last hologram map piece...

 

He knew Wade wouldn't be there when he got back.

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i love wade...
> 
> ugh, my dearest wolvie, where in the world might you be? ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


	19. Quiet Moments...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, they are what's needed...
> 
> But sometimes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're not always peaceful~
> 
> i expect this chapter to invoke anger, frustration, and maybe some tears...
> 
> i found some moar onions~
> 
> <3<3<3

.oOo.

 

When Steve finally got back, he tried to keep quiet, figuring his mate was already sleeping. He'd gotten an earful before he left for the merc having escaped. A few days in suspension while they 'figured out what happened'. Steve knew they weren't going to, but it also gave him time to finalize the plan. He was exhausted and figured Bucky would be too... The day he had...

 

Wade had probably gotten home and taken him here a little while ago. Steve still wondered how the conversation went... if Bucky might be upset with him...

 

Instead, right after he locked the door, he turned around straight into a very passionate kiss, lips he would recognize anywhere at this point. The gleam of silver eyes too familiar in the dark. Only parting for a moment to look into them. Delving back in.

 

They stood there for a while, just sharing long stretched, sweetened kisses in the dark. Before Steve picked up his mate and carried him to their bed. Moonlight lit the room enough. Steve paused as he sat down with Bucky on the bed. His mate moving to his lap as they shared a few more kisses. Steve paused again, pulling back, giving a soft smile as he ran his hand down the side of Bucky's hair. Bucky gave a slight tilt of his head. Soft spoken as always...

 

“What's wrong...?”

 

“Nothin'... just... tired. I need to shower... change.”

 

Bucky seemed skeptical but gave a nod and reassuring smile, moving himself to sit on the bed so Steve could do just that. It wasn't often a supersoldier would get tired. But Bucky imagined it was more than physical. He watched as his mate changed out of his uniform. Steve was still very much all hard lines and defined muscle. Clear strength a reminder with every deeply toned area Bucky's eyes passed over. Steve's abdominals were still well defined, his ass wasn't growing, his thighs weren't softer, everything still as chiseled as it was the day they met... It was enough to have Bucky a little self conscious... and fighting the urge to bite his lip.

 

Steve ended up taking a quick shower and putting on a soft shirt and sweatpants to sleep. The shirt clung to his skin with the leftover droplets, highlighting every detail. Making it difficult for Bucky not to stare as he walked back over and sat down. Bucky straddled his lap once he did and kissed him again, but Steve still seemed distracted...

 

“Steve?”

 

Steve gave him a soft hum. The look in his eyes showed how tired he was, but it had Bucky relaxing in his arms. He noticed Steve looking down. At his belly. Steve hadn't changed... but Bucky had. He'd gained weight and picked up an all around softness, like the baby fat he had when he was younger... Already edging over his ideal weight, and certainly not anything Hydra would have considered _peak_ condition. His thighs were thicker, his ass was softer and getting bigger... and as the baby grew, he knew his belly would only grow along with it. His chest filling in with milk along with his hips widening for the birth in the later trimesters. That wouldn't be possible to hide...

 

_And Steve deserved to know..._

 

Steve's fingertips brushed over the barely there swell. Bucky tensed up. Hesitating and stopping Steve's hand for a moment. Gauging the look in his eyes. The question, the uncertainty, the _hope..._

 

Bucky's breath hitched before taking the Alpha's hand. Gently moving it to feel under his shirt. Pressing it firmly. To feel the entirety of the change he'd made in Bucky. What they'd made together... what would only grow from there.

 

Steve's eyes widened before looking at Bucky for confirmation. Bucky hesitated a moment, but gave the barest nod. A hint of a smile before the Alpha pulled him in, holding him tightly. Scenting him to calm himself down, to hang onto something. When he pulled back, he saw tears in his Alpha's eyes and alarm immediately struck him before Steve kissed him again. To calm him down. And the awe and admiration were clear in his face as he moved his hand to feel the swell again.

 

Just holding Bucky there in that same quiet comfort as tears continued falling... for both of them.

 

“How long...?”

 

Bucky hesitated. But the answer came easier than expected.

 

“Since before... since...”

 

_The first time..._

 

“The tests were wrong...”

 

Bucky gave a nod.

 

“When did you...?”

 

“About one month ago, a little more than that... Wade insisted. He could scent it... scent everything... He helped me... and—.”

 

“Why didn't you tell me sooner?”

 

The question came quicker than Steve could stop it. It wasn't really relevant now and he knew there were a million reasons Bucky might not tell him right away. But the worry wouldn't let up. Bucky was 3 months pregnant... 3 _months_ and already leading into the 4th. He'd already finished his first trimester and Steve hadn't known. The answer his mate gave broke his heart. Because he knew it was his fault.

 

“I was scared...”

 

Shock broke in Bucky's face as soon as the words slipped his mouth. Shame followed.  An honest answer he hadn't wanted his Alpha to know, but couldn't stop the words before they'd escaped. And it was no excuse. Steve deserved far better. He was afraid. Afraid of Hydra. Afraid of losing Steve. Afraid of what might come when the world knew he'd done the one thing he'd been told not to. They didn't want him pregnant. It would cause trouble for Steve. And Hydra—...

 

The tears fell as he found himself looking away. As guilt found its way onto his Alpha's face. He _shouldn't_ feel guilty. This was _not_ his fault. He—.

 

“ _Bucky..._ Buck. Look at me...”

 

Steve lifted his chin so their eyes would meet, the same soft wonder in them and something more that Bucky couldn't place. Emotions so strong, swirling through the bond. Too much at the same time they weren't enough. Steve placed his forehead against Bucky's. Making sure to calm him first.

 

“ _You don't have to be afraid anymore..._ ”

 

Steve took pause to keep Bucky calm, moving to kiss his temple and hold him tighter as the tears fell once more.

 

“You won't have to be afraid ever again... Either of you... This ends now... Whatever it takes to keep you _both_ safe. _They're **never** touching you again..._”

 

He didn't just mean Hydra... And it almost hurt to know how badly Bucky had wanted to hear those words. Guilt welling in him. For holding his mate's heart. For using him. For manipulating him into being his savior... _For using their pup as a tool... because he was never strong enough to save himself..._

 

He felt guilty. Because he knew Steve deserved better. Because he couldn't stop himself from the overwhelming _joy_ he felt at those words. From knowing how _selfish_ it made him. To want Steve. _To love him_... To trap him by his side with this... To hold him when he would undoubtedly be happier with a... with a better mate than Bucky...

 

But he was too scared to fight for himself after everything Hydra had done... and Steve... Steve would protect them.

 

_Both of them..._

 

They stayed there a long while, caught between gentle kisses, tears, and quiet comfort. The scent of happy Alpha, of _relief_ , of _hope_ , soothing them both as they laid down on the bed. Steve only pulling away to lean further down and kiss Bucky's belly. It wasn't big yet. But the baby would grow and they both knew that...

 

Steve wanted to be there every single day for them. To kiss Bucky and the baby every day he could. And as he leaned down and pressed his ear against the small swell, as Bucky ran his hands through blond hair, encouraging his mate...

 

_He heard it..._

 

The small flutter of a heartbeat that wasn't Bucky's. A slower pulse almost hinted, an undertone. Even, calm... _And a smaller pulse beating proudly against his ear..._ Faster, somehow fainter at the same time it was louder... and more _real_ than he would have ever thought possible... _Mother and child, a reminder that they were both alive..._

 

The rhythm lulling him to sleep as they both held tight...

 

.oOo.

 

Steve woke up the next day to the faint smell of blood mixed with bile. The scent of his mate's distress rousing him from sleep. Exhaustion that otherwise would've had him slept in pushed away in favor of instincts on high alert. The Alpha taking barely a moment before he forced himself out of bed and to his mate's side.

 

Still sick. A whine escaping him. Trying to pull back and not worry the Alpha, only to cough blood into his palms. The distress spiking.

 

_He was getting worse._

 

Steve's eyes widened at the red mixed with thick, sickly colored bile. He quickly kneeled in front Bucky, having his mate look at him, trying to calm him down.

 

“ _Bucky,_ Buck...”

 

_It wasn't morning sickness. It never was._

 

If the circumstances were different, he could have hoped. But it had started far too soon and wouldn't stop. His instincts driving him on autopilot as he barely registered what he did next. Getting Bucky cleaned. Flushing away the sickness. Getting him something to soothe his stomach and throat and replenish the blood he lost. Molasses and chocolate in milk with peppermint. Holding him closely as the thoughts ran through his head.

 

His Omega was pregnant. He needed to protect him. _He needed to protect them._ And he was failing.

 

After settling Bucky down, he couldn't stop worrying. Couldn't stop the instincts. He still had yet to hear from Bruce but he mentioned testing the samples more extensively. _They were running out of time, the circumstances were changed now._

 

He called after managing to get Bucky back to sleep, but didn't get an answer, so he left a message.

 

“Bruce, I... it's Steve. I know you said it would take time, and I really appreciate that you're going out of your way to do this for me and Bucky... but I... something came up. As soon as you can, as soon as you get this. I don't know what else to do, where to turn. Bucky's... he... he just keeps getting worse... keeps throwing up. He coughed up blood today and—. He's pregnant. He's... he's—.”

 

Steve cut himself off and the message cut shortly after. He couldn't think, he could barely breathe. His instincts running haywire at the situation. The _fear_ in Bucky's eyes... bordering hysteria, melding into disassociation, numbness once Steve had managed to calm him down. The Alpha in him screaming at him, he'd failed to protect his Omega.

 

_Something **more** was wrong..._

 

And even as he walked back to their room to watch over his mate as he calmly slept, he didn't know what to do...

 

The next few days brought up different worries. He knew there was more Bucky wasn't telling him. The times they spent in quiet comfort always had Steve wondering, hoping. Now he couldn't help thinking they weren't ever enough. More than once Bucky had spaced out. Completely drifting, as if losing his place in the world just before Steve brought him back. He'd dropped a plate and had forgotten Steve, begging his _handler_ not to punish him, nothing but a string of desperate Russian coming out of his mouth, tears streaming down his face expecting to be _struck_. Steve had to swallow the pain just to keep his mate from hurting himself.

 

He'd seen it before in those moments of regression, but Bucky would always quickly calm down at his scent and being held in tight. Steve'd been so busy, he hadn't been there to see them get more frequent. The nightmares were worse, the flashes of memory. And all this time, Steve hadn't been there for him. Hardly knew how to. What Bucky truly needed, Steve couldn't give.

 

_What Bucky needed..._

 

“ _Steve...?_ ”

 

Steve was always at his side the moment he could be, the moment Bucky asked for him. Reassuring him and being reassured by him. Checking every day, listening to his mate's and the baby's heartbeats. He had more to care for, more to protect now... but he also had more to worry about. It made waiting for Bruce's response, for the results that much more painful. That much more desperate... And there was more that Bucky needed.

 

_He wasn't enough._

 

All he could do was stay by his side...

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wonder what's taking brucie bear so long...
> 
> because of course i can't give fluff without extra angst~ ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
> 
> i'm debating taking another break, the inspiration just isn't flowing evenly and it's kinda frustrating, normally if i get distracted, i can just work on a little something extra on the side and everything be peachy, cravings sufficed, but lately it's like i can't pinpoint what i want or what to work on and it's just driving me crazy instead...
> 
> motherfucker
> 
> i will... figure this. out.
> 
> somehow...
> 
> fuck
> 
> we'll see
> 
> feed my neediness and inspires me, i am grumpy


	20. Soaked in Red (Pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an early chapter? for what occasion~?
> 
> this isn't here, you're all imagining things~...
> 
> happy birthday, steeb~<3
> 
> anywho~
> 
> i figured it out, i'm just gonna finish up what I have and then i shall take another break, at the most probably around 2 weeks-ish? somewhere around there to relax and focus on other things, get my inspiration flowing again, etc. figure out whatever the fuck is throwing it out of whack... of course, i'm always open to discussing ideas if you gais wanna help me out~
> 
> that being said, i think it's fair to throw up a few warnings for this chapter, just for those that may not be able to handle it as we are reaching some of the darkest points in this fic, as i still hate hate HATE spoilers, all i will say is that one topic was mentioned in an earlier chapter, and neither of the two should be taken lightly or brushed over, as they can both be deeply traumatic and very very personal
> 
> HOWEVER, if you don't happen to make it through this chapter... i will say, and this kind of is a spoiler but fuck it, you won't get the treats in the next one, which i plan on posting mmm... later~<3
> 
> today though, for sure, give or take a few hours, provided you all feed my attention whoring methods, because i swear to satan, if there isn't a single comment on this lovely angst by midnight, i'm not posting the next one for like a week, especially because i wanted to take my break on an angst note rather than a fluff one... and i regret that very much...
> 
> i am needy
> 
> as fuck
> 
> you know this by now
> 
> so, without further adue~
> 
> enjoy the onions~
> 
> i founds a mountain... ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
> 
> prepare to hate me~<3

.oOo.

 

“How is he?”

 

Steve knew she meant well, but with everything happening...

 

“The sooner this is over, the better he will be.”

 

She gave something of a half smile, but they'd all seen Steve throw himself into work when he was worried. When he was overwhelmed. Steve was a soldier through and through, if it meant protecting someone, he would never stop fighting... He was strong enough to take the burdens of others, to hold the weight of the world on his shoulders just so others wouldn't have to.

 

That didn't mean he should... less for him to be the only one to do so.

 

But sometimes reminding him he wasn't alone proved a little difficult. She placed a hand on his shoulder in reassurance before adjusting her earpiece.

 

“You hear back from Bruce yet?”

 

“On which end?”

 

“Both.”

 

“The first test showed him a few things that weren't helpful for Omegas. He offered to remove it, but I don't want to give them more fuel. He's doing extensive testing now and I haven't heard back from him. He said he'd talk to her for the trial.”

 

She paused, her brows furrowing.

 

“When you say 'not helpful'—.”

 

“Borderline toxic. If not completely poison... It's making him sick, I know that. But they...”

 

He stopped himself and took a breath. He knew they'd take Bucky from him the moment they got the chance. He didn't have options and he was running out of time. Natasha seemed to tense her jaw a moment, thinking.

 

“Steve.”

 

He gave a glance.

 

“He'll be okay...”

 

He gave a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in. He knew she meant it, and he wanted to believe the words too... he just... _he had to keep hoping_.

 

“Thank you...”

 

“ _Are you two in position yet? I'm still wondering what we're doing here...”_

 

Natasha smirked at the other Alpha's voice on the earpiece.

 

“This facility's a lot more delicate than the others. It's all medical, so even if there are bad guys, they're not likely to be combatants, excluding security, which is mostly S.H.I.E.L.D. here. It also means a more careful touch, and avoiding casualties in favor of capture. It's also one of the more important databases. Which will help set this in motion quite nicely. And get us any information we're missing.”

 

“ _Got it, and the merc?”_

 

“Playing decoy at another facility. For now.”

 

“He'll meet up with us later, stay focused Clint. Fury had to pull a lot of strings to get us here, better not to screw it up before we start.”

 

“ _Sir yes, sir, Cap.”_

 

Steve and Natasha kept walking to the next point, showing the badges when they were stopped. Giving a glance at the hidden nest the hawk had set up. If things went well, everything would stay calm, and they'd have full control of the facility before Wade got there. He heard the _swick_ of a few darts flying through the air as they continued.

 

They got through the first checkpoint. Natasha siphoning what information she needed. The second, just fine. Now they were at the third.

 

Then Steve saw him.

 

_Him._

 

The _doctor_ that had been sent to check over Bucky the first time. He'd been there. _He'd been there._ When they'd given him the implant and Steve hadn't noticed. _He hadn't noticed and now Bucky was—_.

 

He couldn't suppress the growl.

 

“Stay focused, Steve, can't have you going all Alpha on us just yet.”

 

He barely held back for a moment. But when the doctor saw him?

 

The shock was apparent. It was like watching Zola try to scurry away with his research all over again. _Did they all do that?_

 

“Hey. _**Hey!**_ ”

 

Natasha barely had the chance to call after him. And he almost didn't hear Barton over the communications piece.

 

“ _Cap, we got an issue. They know we're here.”_

 

Steve focused on not losing this guy. Not stopping for the bullets. Using his shield to deflect. Taking out anyone in his way. He took a pause, ducking out of range. Eyes still on target.

 

“I know. We can't avoid this getting messy at this point, just do what you can.”

 

He could practically hear Clint smirk before a stream of arrows was fired to clear his path. He gave a nod in thanks as he saw the other Alpha quickly take a new position, and ran after the same doctor. He must have not been expecting it by the cry he let out at being caught and thrown against the wall, then lifted by his coat and pinned there.

 

“ _ **What did Hydra give my mate?**_ ”

 

The man seemed to want to fight the _command._ But wasn't able.

 

“T-the implant is known as _Ome-56-19C_ , or more commonly by its nickname. _*Cough*_ _The Belladonna's Remorse—_.”

 

“ **What does it do!?** ”

 

“ _What d-does it matter, Kapitan? We gave him a very special version of it, it is far too late for you to save him, though had you given him back, we—._ ”

 

Steve's instincts and rage were surging. He was ashamed to admit that the only reason he didn't do worse was—.

 

“ _ **FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!**_ ”

 

The blast blew him away and left ringing in his ears. Barely a moment to even watch him pick up and run away as he saw Deadpool nearly split in two and _healing._ Having taken the full brunt of the blast. Something must have gone wrong. He shook it off, getting ready for the fight. Barely a moment to chat before it started. Hydra didn't have firepower there so they _brought_ it. They were _beyond_ desperate now.

 

Steve didn't hesitate. One, two, three soldiers, and it was all the same. He helped Wade up, the same situation. Fighting as arrows would catch some off guard, Steve would throw his shield, and they'd make sure they were out like a light. Clint caught in brutal hand to hand with one, throwing him straight into another. Wade taking the brunt of the hits and turning it around on the enemies as he healed. They managed a bit of clearing before he heard Natasha again.

 

“ _Cap, I'm gonna need you.”_

 

“What? I'm a little— _busy!_ ”

 

“ _Whatever that doctor told you, get over here now. This concerns your mate.”_

 

Before he could answer. Clint took out another person and turned to him, having heard.

 

“ **Just go! We got this!** ”

 

Steve ran back, barely registering his pocket vibrating. Trying to ignore it by the time he got there. Natasha asked before he could. She was typing up, digging through info, fast. Taking what she needed but it was clear she was looking for something else and still had yet to find it.

 

“What was the name of the birth control they gave Bucky?”

 

“Ah—. Ome-56-19C. He said it was nicknamed _Belladonna's Remorse._ ”

 

The pause was almost imperceptible. The change in her scent wasn't.

 

“You're sure?”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because it was banned by the 70s. Anything else?”

 

“He said it was a special version of it. What are you...”

 

“Figuring this out before we run out of time. You should get that.”

 

His phone. He looked to see who it was. Bad time or not—.

 

“Bruce?”

 

“ _Steve. I'm so sorry I couldn't contact you sooner. Something came up and it was... I'm sorry. I got the results back and I had to check for errors just to be sure. And then I got your call and—. Look. None of that matters now. You_ need _to get to your mate and we need to take that implant out. I looked into his bloodwork, into yours. It was never any match for your serum. But they added something extra to destabilize his. If my information is right, what they're using is illegal and I don't think it was S.H.I.E.L.D.'s pick. He's sick because his body is trying to fight it and filter it to protect the baby, and it is_ killing _him. I'm already on my way but as soon as you can, we need to remove that thing and check on him and the baby._ ”

 

Steve felt his heart sink, on the verge of breakdown. _He might lose them before he even has a chance to save them. And it was all his fault._ He couldn't hear what else Bruce had said and he almost hadn't heard Natasha.

 

“Steve?”

 

He looked up, his eyes widening at the information on the screen.

 

“Go _now_.”

 

.oOo.

 

When Bucky woke, he hadn't felt nauseous like he normally did. At first thought, he felt fine. Tired. The flash of a nightmare forcing him awake, trying to calm down. Dull ache in his belly...

 

_And then sharp pain._

 

It felt like a knife. Enough to keep him grounded for some time, barely able to do much. A twist but no relief as intense worry flushed him. _And then a wet feeling_.

 

Soreness, pain. Another flash of memory and another push to force it away. And when he managed to check. To rub his hand along the wetness and look down.

 

_Red._

 

Blood.

 

And sharper pain.

 

 _The baby was dying. Steve's baby. The only thing_ **good** _that he had ever created, and he wasn't even worth enough to keep it alive._

 

He tried to move but he couldn't. The pain growing further. Intenser. A whine slipping, a cry for help with no one there. He was alone. And the secret he'd kept, the only treasure he had was slipping from his grasp while he could do _nothing_. He couldn't move. Couldn't focus on anything but the pain. Losing track of time. Eventually enough to lose consciousness.

 

Another nightmare. Memories to relive. Reminders of his crimes.

 

Closing his eyes was no relief, opening them was worse.

 

The pain was... gone.

 

He sat up, looking down. The bottom of his pants _soaked._ The sheets soaked through. All of it painted red as realization dawned on him. _There was no way it survived._

 

He'd killed it. _He'd killed it. The precious gift his Alpha had given him and he'd destroyed it. Too absorbed in his own pain, too worthless to protect it. To save it. He'd killed the baby and done **nothing** while it happened._

 

_He was worthless. Useless. An Omega that didn't deserve his Alpha's love and affection for what he'd done. Steve should have never kept him. He shouldn't even be alive. He didn't deserve Steve. He couldn't carry their child to term and now—._

 

 _He was worthless. Wrong. A criminal. A **murderer**. He could never be good. He could never be good. **He could never be good.**_ **He** _**would** _ **never be good.**

 

More flashes ran through him as he tried to hold it in, a headache overtaking him as the tears fell. The dull ache in his belly and the blood between his legs a firm reminder. _He didn't belong._

 

He stood. Quickly. Too quickly. Dizzy. Forcing unsteady legs to carry him. Remembering the spot his Alpha had placed it. S.H.I.E.L.D. issue. Standard. Not something Steve tended to use. Left for emergencies because he trusted Bucky... _He'd trusted Bucky..._ he came back, sitting once more on the blood soaked sheets.

 

_He was worthless._

 

He didn't belong and he'd... _He'd..._ His hand ran over the swell one last time as more tears fell. He didn't deserve his Alpha... not for what he'd done. For _everything_ he'd done... but Steve...

 

_Steve deserved to be free of him..._

 

He checked for bullets. Loaded. And unlocked the safety. Positioned it just under his chin. An angle that would destroy his brain. A supersoldier's healing factor would not be adept enough to heal from this... And this way...

 

_This way..._

 

_Steve would be happier without him._

 

The flash of amber eyes, wide and innocent made him pause.  _Of green..._ _Fear, pain, betrayal..._  Tears falling once more. Trembling.

 

_They'd all be happier without him._

 

The world around him slowed. The noise drowned out. Nothing but ringing.

 

He took a breath.

 

_And he pulled the trigger..._

 

“ _ **Bucky!!**_ ”

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> worst. birthday gift. EVER.


	21. Trust (Pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky trusted him enough to know it...
> 
> That didn't mean Steve ever wanted to use it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you all hate me now?
> 
> ohhhhhhhh, i bet you do~
> 
> that's okay, you won't after this one, which i... begrudgingly, am making good on that promise to post it since i did get some of that lovely attention and i debated leaving everyone hanging... but... i'm an attention whore...
> 
> enjoy~

.oOo.

 

“ _Sputnik...”_

 

_-_

 

_A whisper..._

 

_Handler?_

 

_No..._

 

_He trusts this voice._

 

_It soothes him..._

 

_Alpha._

 

_Alpha is good._

 

_Good._

 

_-_

 

“ _Please... please... let them be okay. I can't lose them. I can't lose him._ **Please**... _I can't—.”_

 

_-_

 

“ _What happened—Steve!?”_

 

_* **Growl** *_

 

“ _This isn't gonna work just approaching him like that. He's bordering feral, everything is a threat right now...”_

 

“ _His hand—.”_

 

“ _Steve?”_

 

_Steve... Alpha._

 

_Good._

 

_-_

 

“ _N-no! NO! No no no no—don't make me leave him!!”_

 

_Mate._

 

“ _Steve—S-Steve—!_ Steve! _He needs medical attention! Look at me. Listen. No one is going to hurt him. No one is going to separate you two. But Bruce needs to check him... If there's any chance—.”_

 

_The Widow..._

 

“ _Fuck it. Point me in the right direction. I will fucking steal the equipment.”_

 

_Friend._

 

“ _Fury'd be more than happy to let us borrow it. But there's no way we're moving him.”_

 

_Someone new..._

 

_-_

 

_He feels lighter suddenly. And heavier... soft. There is softness under him. Steady. Painless._

 

_The pain is gone. Gon—..._

 

_There is new pain. But only in his wrist. Dull. Needle. Thread. Stitches. He's had them before._

 

_Beeping. Continuous._

 

_Heartbeat. Slow. Steady. His._

 

_Heartbeat. Small. Faster... not his._

 

_Heartbeats..._

 

_Crying. Someone is shedding tears for him..._

 

_Alpha. Safe._

 

_Good._

 

_-_

 

“ _Steve? He's okay now, he's stable... are you gonna let us look at that?”_

 

“ _I'm not leaving his side...”_

 

“ _No one's asking you to...”_

 

_-_

 

Steve sighed, but held out his hand. Still with the bullet lodged straight through it. Still bleeding. Still being poisoned by the lead, his serum fighting it. Bruce was careful cleaning and preparing it to take out the bullet. Steve held in the pain as he stayed by Bucky's side. Glancing at his wrist... where they'd removed the implant. An I.V. connected to Bucky, ensuring to filter out and clean whatever was left of it, replenish the blood he lost. Help his body stabilize...

 

“I don't understand... Bob said it would help him, stop this from happening...”

 

Natasha looked at the merc. She took a breath.

 

“It's because of your friend that they're both still alive... Hydra probably doesn't tell him everything. It was a chemical self destruct. No one could have called this.”

 

“I should have.”

 

“Steve—.”

 

“I had the chance to make a call. And I made the wrong one. He paid for it. That's on me.”

 

“You couldn't have known, Steve. Hydra plays dirty.”

 

“And I should know that by now.”

 

“ _Stop._ **Don't**. Do that to yourself. They're _alive_ because of you. In more than one instance. You know that, Steve. You've done everything you can.”

 

“Yet, somehow it's not enough...”

 

“It is when someone's cheating. That's why we're changing the rules... What they added... Hydra liked to manufacture chemicals and test them on him... And they found one that worked... very well on him. They used to use it to—... to make him _want_ to forget. Make him docile... a form of torture. It took apart his mind... scrambled memories, made him relive them. It had adverse effects on his serum, so they would avoid using too much, at least after they'd learned that well enough. I guess they stopped caring so much... It kicked in as a last resort when his body was trying to filter it. And he might have succeeded if not for the... distractions in his system... Instead, it made every other poison that much stronger... I should've dug for this information sooner—.”

 

“That wasn't your responsibility...”

 

“As your friend, I'd say it was. You don't get to blame yourself without us lightening the load. Not everything is in your control, Steve. Don't blame yourself for what Hydra did. They're both okay now, and... he wouldn't want you to... he wouldn't have been, without you.”

 

Steve tensed his jaw looking down at Bucky. Resting. Peaceful. He'd never wanted to use that word. His mate had trusted him enough to know it. Had given everything to him. Scared that Hydra would take control of him again... He hadn't wanted to learn it... conflicted and wishing he never did, that he had Bruce remove the implant at the first chance... _that he'd been there for Bucky..._

 

Watching him go limp like that had been frightening in a different sense.

 

He'd come into the house to catch a thick scent of blood. Running to their room to see his mate sitting on the bed, blood soaked pants and sheets below him with a gun aimed at his chin and his finger on the trigger. He ran. Quickly grabbed Bucky, blocking and moving the gun with his hand, tense muscles and a firm grip as pain shot through it. Bucky screaming, crying, hysteria overtaking him as he tried to fight free of Steve's grip.

 

It felt like he'd betrayed him.

 

It was nothing more than a gentle whisper in his ear. But the results were instant and... brutal. He'd watched his eyes roll back as the fight left him entirely and he lost consciousness in Steve's arms. And Steve held him, near losing his mind, not knowing what to do. Crying.

 

It wasn't until the others had arrived, that Bruce arrived that they'd managed to calm him down. Bruce told him to listen for their heartbeats... and he did. _And he'd heard them..._

 

He took a breath at the sting of a tonic sterilizing the wound, meant to heal now that the bullet was out. His other hand running through Bucky's hair as he stayed beside him. His mate had come so close to taking his own life... he'd thought he'd lost the baby. Failed them both. Hydra had control of his mind even without being anywhere near him and Steve hadn't noticed... He knew Natasha meant well, but...

 

In that instance, he'd failed Bucky...

 

He took another breath as Bruce wrapped up the wound, resting his ear lightly against the small swell to hear the tiny rush against it, closing his eyes as the barest amount of relief lightened the load of guilt. Slightly fainter, but still fighting...

 

.oOo.

 

Bucky opened his eyes slowly... sleep leaving him almost gently. Taking in his surroundings and adjusting.

 

No pain...

 

He closed his eyes a moment, before glancing down. His Alpha by his side, sleeping. A hand placed over his belly... it was wrapped up. Bucky's brows furrowed. His clothes were different. An I.V. in his arm... His wrist—...

 

_He remembered..._

 

He felt tears welling. There was no blood this time, but he knew. _He knew—._ He'd... and then his Alpha had tried to stop him and—. _The wound on his hand was Bucky's fault._ _He'd—._

 

Steve stirred, and the tears didn't stop welling, falling once those blue eyes locked with his. How could he feel _anything_ but shame knowing he'd—... _He'd..._

 

“ _Bucky..._ ”

 

Bucky immediately glanced away, tried pulling away. Firm hands keeping him in place as silent crying turned to sobs, small strings of 'no' repeated to try and get the Alpha to let go. He wasn't worth anything. He'd lost their—.

 

Steve immediately moved to hold his mate tight and try and calm him down.

 

“Bucky— _Buck. Please... it's okay. You're okay now. You're fine—_.”

 

“ _I lost—I... I lost the—._ ”

 

“ _The baby's fine, Buck._ Still there. _Heart still beating with yours..._ you're both okay. You didn't do anything wrong... _You didn't lose it..._ ”

 

Bucky was stunned. The tears just falling harder. _How could that be possible?_ There had just been... _so much blood..._ There was no way it...

 

“ _N-no... no. No—._ ”

 

“ _Bucky..._ I promise you... Bruce checked you over, took out the implant to make sure you'd both be okay. He said he could check again, run an ultrasound so we could see when you woke up... but I _promise_ you... _our_ _baby's still alive, still here with us..._ ”

 

Steve kissed him and held him tighter as the tears kept falling. Bucky clinging to him for dear life as Steve looked at him with the same softness in his eyes asking the question as Bucky responded with the barest nod. He wanted to see. He wanted to know... It was then he noticed the other faint scents in the house.

 

.oOo.

 

The gel on his belly was cold but... Bucky couldn't deny the small bump still being there.

 

Wade. The Widow. A friend of Steve's Bucky could identify as Hawkeye, Agent Clint Barton. And Bruce. Bringing a wand to the gelled area, spreading it, and searching...

 

Bucky closed his eyes.

 

Steve squeezed his hand in reassurance and the tears just came back, his eyes watering as he looked at his Alpha. Steve hadn't left his side for a moment...

 

It wasn't long before Bruce found what he was looking for. The room quiet enough to quickly note the change... a small flutter... a faint rush, repeated through the room. _A heartbeat._ And it had his own speeding up as his eyes widened. The tears falling as he covered his mouth.

 

Bruce showed him, defined the blurry image on the screen. The head, the arms, the legs... _and it was moving..._

 

Bucky had felt small fluttering sensations inside of himself for a few weeks now but he hadn't known what to think of them. What they could be. _His baby was moving._

 

And he hadn't known. He hadn't—.

 

_Dear god... he'd almost killed them both—._

 

He choked up as the tears fell harder. He hadn't lost it and he'd... Steve made quick to be by his side, to settle the tears.

 

“Bucky—.”

 

“ _I almost—...I—._ ”

 

“ _You didn't..._ Hydra... the implant nearly killed you both, they put... something in it to destabilize you, to make you lose your mind. None a that was your fault. I wasn't here for you, and I shoulda had Bruce remove it the first chance we got... _I'm so sorry Buck..._ ”

 

“ _You are not to blame for—..._ ”

 

More tears fell as he clung to Steve.

 

“Bucky... _Bucky... it's okay..._ ”

 

Steve kissed him to calm him down. Until he calmed down and the crying settled. And Bucky couldn't help the way his heart clenched as he looked back at the screen. Wondering how after all this, he could deserve something so beautiful. Pure. How he could deserve such an Alpha that would truly do anything to protect him. That truly loved him so much...

 

“How...?”

 

Bruce gave a sad smile before answering.

 

“The birth control they used... it may very well be the strongest ever made. Where it would fail in preventing a pregnancy, it would succeed in causing them to fail. But because of the nature of its design, it wasn't... healthy, for people to use. Typically, it caused the Omegas and Betas that used it to go sterile, and it left their hormones a mess and their minds worse. Of course, they didn't figure that out until more than a few years after its invention. It's made of so many poisons, it would have been enough to hurt you, just not anything you couldn't heal from. You'd think the _deadly nightshade_ would be enough on it's own. Hydra knew exactly what would push it further, the chemical they added is... honestly, I've never seen anything like it... but they couldn't factor in Steve's serum because not even S.H.I.E.L.D. has all of the information on it...”

 

He gave a pause moving the wand slightly for a better look. Smiling when they saw the baby move again, both parents staring in awe, raw emotion too overwhelming to hide.

 

“That wall right there, the reason there was so much blood... Your body was trying to do what it could to save itself once it realized it couldn't save you both. Placental abruption isn't common, but can very easily lead to a miscarriage. Your body was trying to destroy the placenta entirely and push it out, but because of Steve's serum from the baby, it was able to repair almost as fast as it was being destroyed. Which in a way, also helped you filter out the poisons to save the baby... You're still healing, and it'll take some time. I'm recommending some bed rest just to be safe... but otherwise, I'd say you're both gonna be okay...”

 

Bucky near jumped seeing the baby move again. His hand quickly going to the spot where he'd felt it. A blush crossing his face when he realized. Steve seeming a bit concerned.

 

“Bucky...?”

 

Bruce just smiled.

 

“It's normal for you to be able to start feeling the baby by this stage, though maybe a little early for a first time Oma. You're about 16 weeks, right? Coming up on the 4th month but not quite there yet. I'd say it might be a little bit more time before Steve can feel any 'kicks' from the outside, but I can also imagine you both might be a little more sensitive to it, with the serums, and the baby might be a bit stronger.”

 

Steve's eyes widened in surprise as his hand came to where Bucky's was. Bucky gave a tentative nod to the questions from both men.

 

“Do you guys wanna know what you're having?”

 

Bucky's eyes widened, looking to Steve. His mate seemed caught between excited and worried, but he smiled and gave Bucky another kiss in reassurance. Bucky gave another nod as Steve squeezed his hand and Bruce moved the wand again. He seemed to angle it various times before giving a huff.

 

“Well, I'd give you a definite answer, but I don't think he wants to cooperate very much...”

 

Both of them lit up in surprise, trying to hide it. It wouldn't have mattered, but... it was nice to know, to learn something about the baby that had snuck up on them... Steve was the one to respond.

 

“He?”

 

Bruce gave a nod and a smile.

 

“As far as I can tell, yes.”

 

Steve kissed Bucky again. Excitement, happiness, worry, all buzzing through the bond, rich in his scent for what the future held for them once all of this was over... And it was the first bit of good news, without worry, without fear, that either of them had gotten in a long time. Something to look forward to, something to hope for, to love...

 

_They were having a son..._

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe a bit of a better birthday gift, right?
> 
> happy birthday Stevie~<3<3<3
> 
> ugh, too much fluff, i need more onions...
> 
> that being said, i will now take that break, if it goes well, i might be posting again sooner than 2 weeks, but i just can't seem to shake whatever this is, between particular stucky cravings and whatnot, i think my body wants me to start another stucky fic to satisfy it, but i have so many... and i can't pinpoint the ideas...
> 
> i want a feral steve and an innocent bucky, but i have so much innocent bucky i can already work on... just not too much feral steve... and then i want other things... ugh...
> 
> i will... figure this out...


	22. Belladonna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve confronts the Brass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ollo everyone~
> 
> wowzas, it's been a month...
> 
> miss me? ;)))))))))))))))
> 
> so you know that senator asshole from iron man 2? the one that's a dick to tony with that permanent smug look of his? The one that turns out to be Hydra in the winter soldier? and you know the forefront asshat brass man i had in mind to give stevie trouble this whole time?
> 
> yeah~
> 
> him!
> 
> figured i should finally paint a face for you gais to hate~<3<3<3
> 
> steve is so done<3
> 
> on a side note, my friend finally posted her theory~ and i am so fuckin' proud of her<3<3<3
> 
> [Steve went back for Al, pass it on.](https://www.reddit.com/r/FanTheories/comments/cl8x3h/endgame_theory_steve_rogers_never_intended_to/)
> 
> please, please, PLEASE click the link and let's get the ball rolling on this, it is gloriously devious and i agree with her 100%, the creepy uncle theory for sure needs to be retconned, no exceptions
> 
> i wish i could say i'm completely back, but the truth is the tank is running on completely empty again...
> 
> I NEEEEEED FUUUUUEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL!!!!
> 
> :(

.oOo.

 

Steve had so many thoughts rushing through his mind all at once. And he was more than certain the bitterness and staunch anger rolling off his scent were more than enough to frighten people. The implant clenched tightly in his fist as he marched to his destination, wholly focused and undeterred.

 

He'd managed to get Bucky back to sleep before he left... he needed the rest at this point. But the conversations that followed still kept playing in his head over and over. He almost hadn't been able to leave him alone before being reassured by those that stayed back.

 

“ _Steve...”_

 

“ _It's been a while since he's purred... was kinda wondering... what I might be doing wrong... now I know...”_

 

“ _Purring is a mechanism for healing in some instances, but it directly relates to how healthy an Omega might be. He's gonna be okay...”_

 

“ _He almost wasn't.”_

 

“ _And it's because of you that he is. Without you... he'd either be dead... or worse. You know that...”_

 

“ _I don't wanna leave him...”_

 

_Bruce remained quiet a moment._

 

“ _Natasha said she'd be more than happy to handle the implant business for you. She's going to confront them at the main facility.”_

 

“ _She shouldn't have to do that... I just... I don't want him to be alone.”_

 

“ _He won't be. Wade's staying, for now. Clint's... he's processing. I think your situation might have stirred up some memories for him... Fury's on his way with Hill. And if Hydra wants to come around and make a mess... they can answer to the Hulk. ...Likely a second one if it comes down to it... Jen said she'd take the case. You're not alone in this either, Steve.”_

 

_Steve's breath almost hitched at the words, but he caught what Bruce had said._

 

“ _Second one?”_

 

_Bruce gave a sigh._

 

“ _The... issue I was dealing with... Can I ask you a favor?”_

 

Steve took a breath. Hydra had gotten involved and attacked Bruce's cousin. Her near death had meant she'd needed a blood transfusion. And Bruce had been the only match at the time. Needless to say, Hydra managed to get a lot more than they bargained for.

 

Jen had more control over it. Her version of the Hulk. And Bruce's other guy seemed to like her, actually listened to her. But she was... well, green, for lack of a better term. She needed training. And Steve was more than happy to help. She'd be doing more than enough for them, it was the least he could do for her.

 

Fury had arrived shortly before Steve left, but he hadn't had many words to say. Natasha had opted to go with him, marching along his side at the same quick pace and Steve was thankful for that. He wasn't sure what he would do, but he knew exactly how far his instincts wanted him to take this.

 

His scent must have given them a hint. But they all looked surprised and about ready to piss themselves by the time he burst open that door to the conference room. Still in uniform. Still with obvious signs of a mission gone wrong. The explosion, the battle. _The covered bullet wound._

 

“Captain Rogers—.”

 

He barely gave them time to speak. Immediately moving forward and into their space, holding himself together as best he could before placing the removed implant right in front of the center man, on the desk. And then crossing his arms, looking down on them and barely containing the growl.

 

The man took the piece in hand, looking it over. A quirk in his brow as he tried to match the Captain, standing up in some display of defiance, avoiding submission. Maybe even seeming a bit smug. And Steve could guess why. He'd been at the forefront of the chaos since S.H.I.E.L.D. had taken out project insight. The way he'd treated Tony should've been enough of a hint. _His lunch with Jasper Sitwell._ Hydra was always after weapons.

 

“Captain, if this is what I think it is... I hope you realize—.”

 

“ **Sit down.** ”

 

It was a command. And he could see the shock in his face and everyone else's as his body was forced to comply. The anger came next as he tried to reassert himself. No one else was stupid enough to challenge Steve.

 

“ _You removed the implant! Which means you—._ ”

 

“My mate tried to kill himself.”

 

There was no anger in his words. Calm. Even tone. And it shocked the room into silence. Steve tensed his jaw for a moment, and when it was clear he didn't have any response for what Steve had just said...

 

“Oh. I'm sorry. You were saying something. Did I interupt you? How _incredibly_ rude of me. To just... disregard what you're saying and not listen. What does it mean? Now that the implant is out of my mate's wrist?”

 

Steve gave him a moment, continuing when he didn't respond.

 

“You seem a bit shocked, maybe tongue tied? I think I can get the gist of it. I forfeited my rights to him as an Alpha, my right to protect him in directly violating my orders. Because the pheromones of a pregnant Omega can cloud an Alpha's judgment, right? Nevermind the _fact_ that my mate is a _criminal_ who belongs in the finest lockup available for what he's done. Does that about sum it up?”

 

Still no response. He started unwrapping his hand. Revealing the treated wound.

 

“Do you know what this is?”

 

There was a stammer before he forced himself to find composure.

 

“What is this, some kind of game for you? It looks like a wound, maybe a bullet hole? This is your line of work, Captain. I'm sure you're no stranger to a few bullets.”

 

“That's right. It's a bullet wound. And you're right. In my line of work, I'm no stranger to getting hit... I keep a gun at home. Standard. S.H.I.E.L.D. issue. Not really my first choice, I've never really been a gun person.”

 

“You let _him_ have access to it?”

 

“Absolutely. Because I trust my mate. And if I'm being honest. I trusted him the moment he chose to stay. The moment he showed me he was _running_ from something. The moment he _saved my life_. I figured... someone who would do that for me, I gotta owe them _something,_ right? A chance.”

 

“And look where that brought you—.”

 

“ _ **You don't get to speak about this, about him, when you won't even listen and**_ **continually** _ **choose to ignore everything I tell you.**_ ”

 

He took a breath, gauging the room as he held up his hand.

 

“It's a bullet wound... at point _blank_ range. From my hand just at the muzzle. Barely stopping the bullet and redirecting the line of fire... _from his brain_. I had to _fight_ my mate to save _his_ life. _Why?_ Because he's gotten so sick that his own mind put him at odds with himself. Because that _thing_ was _**killing**_ _him_ and _you._.. wouldn't listen...”

 

“Captain Rogers, I think if you'll just take a moment to—.”

 

“To what? To calm down? He wouldn't stop throwing up. And it was the damnest thing. Nobody seemed to be able to figure out _why_. And even as he got _worse._ As it didn't stop or show any signs of stopping, your only response was that the implant had to stay in place, right? Couldn't have him _impairing my judgment,_ or manipulating me... and _certainly_ not pregnant for the trial. Because any instance of him having just the _opportunity_ to show a bit of humanity, the tide tips far too much in his favor. Nevermind the fact that he's a prisoner of war. That he's still reliving the nightmare of what _Hydra_ **made** him do... I took matters into my own hands.”

 

The look on his face quickly dissolved into a sneer. He knew where this was going. And the constant smugness he had was quickly going away with the realization.

 

“I didn't see any solutions from your end. The people I work for, right? So I looked into what was put into his arm. What I let... _S.H.I.E.L.D._ put into his arm... Except I come to find... it wasn't actually _S.H.I.E.L.D._ that made the call.”

 

The spikes in their scents were next. Not everyone. But he could catch the few that might _think_ they were hiding it well enough. Maybe if Steve had been any other Alpha, he wouldn't have noticed the shift.

 

“ _Belladonna's Remorse._ Nicknamed for its graceful herbal cocktail of poisons, the minute amount of nightshade drawing them together. Where it failed to prevent a pregnancy, it would ensure any that occurred were guaranteed to fail. A... _remorseful_ side effect. The strongest form of birth control available for Agents from 1958 to about 1969. Fully banned and made _illegal_ for use by 1971, when they realized it not only hurt those that took it, it did it's best to _sterilize_ them as well. In some cases, when failing, killing both mother and child. But maybe the only possible defense _Hydra_ might have had against an enhanced supersoldier getting pregnant.”

“Capt—.”

 

“I'm not done. Apparently, neither was Hydra. Because they somehow _knew_ exactly what my mate would be getting, and that it wouldn't work on him. Not on its own.”

 

“Captain Rogers, I assure you, S.H.I.E.L.D. had no knowledge of the workings Hydra might be committing under our noses. We'll ensure he gets a newer, more manageable form of—.”

 

Steve tensed his jaw.

 

“He's not getting new birth control.”

 

“Captain Rog—.”

 

“Hydra seems to know every little step he takes. No one's touchin' him 'til all of Hydra's gone. Because the way I see it, _they shouldn't be able to do a single damn thing_ _ **under S.H.I.E.L.D.'s nose**_.”

 

“With all due respect—.”

 

“ _ **You forfeited any rights to touch him the moment you chose to ignore Hydra and be their little puppet.**_ ”

 

That was enough to spark something. Push enough, back someone into a corner and fear becomes a last resort for fighting back. _And it might reveal something more._

 

“ _ **Your instincts are out of control!!**_ ”

 

That was a challenge. And the responding growl from Steve was _feral._ It was then, they realized Natasha wasn't there for any input. Any of her own sharp words and interrogations as the Widow. She was there to _hold Steve back_. A trusted packmate to keep him from _killing_ anyone for what they'd done. And it took some time before she managed to calm him down in all the commotion. The murmurs in the crowd well enough heard. She rewrapped his hand, having him take deep breaths and take in her scent to calm him down. She knew it wouldn't be the same, but she also knew how much the bonds of pack could help. Steve was overwhelmed. Maybe something he hadn't even noticed in himself. It took him a moment, but when he finally managed, he spoke.

 

“ _Control..._ that's always been what Hydra's wanted, right?”

 

Even after the outburst, it seemed they wanted to try and salvage this.

 

“Captain Rogers—.”

 

“ _ **Stop.**_ ”

 

Steve took a breath. Calm and collected.

 

“This ends **now...** Consider it a warning. And my resignation. I won't stop... not 'til every last Hydra agent _prefers_ the comfort of a jail cell as opposed to the prospect of facing me...”

 

“You can't just—.”

 

Steve gave a low growl in warning. He didn't finish that sentence. They couldn't stop him.

 

Another spike in their scents and Steve could pinpoint exactly where they came from. He had to admit, even he was surprised the senator had it in himself to respond again. It was a last attempt at some semblance of power in the conversation. They heard the threat loud and clear. Steve decided to give him this one.

 

“Very well... but I'm sure you know that... this doesn't excuse your mate from a trial, Captain Rogers. However _paranoid_ you've become, or that he's made you. The fact remains, he's committed crimes. And despite the mishap for his... birth control, it's imperative we find a method to ensure he can't influence you any more than he's already done.”

 

Nevermind the fact that Bucky _shouldn't_ be put on trial...

 

“No, of course not... I've picked his lawyer. Though I've heard she's picked up a bit of a temper. You can thank Hydra for that, and I've already run it by Fury. He can fill you in on the details. Her name is Jennifer Walters. As far as birth control goes... it won't be necessary.”

 

“And why is that, Captain Rogers?”

 

“Because even if the implant hadn't been illegal to use and tampered with by Hydra... defying orders would entail removing it with intention of breeding him.”

 

“And... may I ask what intentions you do have if not breeding with a lack of proper birth control for your Omega, Captain Rogers...?”

 

“He's already pregnant. My only intention was saving my mate's and son's lives. I'm sure you understand, the serum tends to burn through a lot...”

 

He barely gave them time to process before turning and leaving. Not bothering to hear any of the shouts calling after him.

 

He wasn't answering to Hydra's beck and call anymore.

 

.oOo.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeahhhhhh, they're pretty much fucked~


	23. Pack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talks to be had.
> 
> Steve has more family than he ever thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hullo again...
> 
> wish i could say i got my mojo back, it's still slow going and i get distracted... but i'm kinda inspired?
> 
> if that makes sense...
> 
> i've been thinking a lot about letting loose with those bottom bucky prompts and making a prompt fic, just cause there's so many fucking ideas and not all of them tickle my pickle~ but...
> 
> fuck it, just read the damn chapter~

.oOo.

 

“I came as soon as I could, I—.”

 

She paused, watching her cousin give a small gesture to keep quiet. The Omega in question sleeping soundly... Her next words were softer...

 

“How is he...?”

 

“They're okay... Steve's formally resigning with S.H.I.E.L.D.”

 

She gave a huff.

 

“Are they really gonna accept Captain America resigning?”

 

Bruce smiled at that.

 

“Maybe not formally... Jen...”

 

“Yeah... I brought some documents... figured maybe it could wait for now, given... given...”

 

Bruce gave a nod and Jen sighed before taking a seat next to him.

 

“Steve said he'd be happy to train you.”

 

“Oh—he doesn't-I... I'm not doing this for that...”

 

“I know. I asked him to.”

 

“... You didn't have to... but thank you...”

 

Bruce gave a half smile. He still felt guilty about what his blood had done to her. He knew Steve felt the same involving her in any of this. But she had better control and she said she wanted to help. She'd always been such a shy kid that he'd wanted to protect, that had done so much more for him... And when she grew older, she said she wanted to protect people too... When the issue with Ross first came about and Bruce was on the run... she'd left him so many messages about how she'd fight the U.S. Government tooth and nail for him, about all the rights he had and everything they were doing wrong. How much she missed him and that it wasn't his fault...

 

She'd always had a spitfire core under all the timidness, and he'd loved her for it. Now wasn't any different... maybe she had a bit of a stronger side, but he was happy she at least had more control. He offered up an arm and a space and she leaned in. Light scenting she didn't realize she was doing, but pack comfort was something they all needed in situations like this.

 

It was a while before Steve and Natasha came back. And by the time they did, Fury was already getting calls. Steve seemed surprised to see Jen there, a different look crossing his face before she cut off his train of thought.

 

“Don't apologize. Hydra probably would've given anyone you picked trouble... Kinda have a knack for finding it on my own anyway.”

 

The look he gave was still apologetic, but he took the hand offered regardless.

 

“That... doesn't exactly make me feel better.”

 

“Yeah, but you'll make up for it anyway. He's worth it to you. That's enough for me.”

 

Steve gave a sigh and half smile but it quickly faded. He was jaded. And that wasn't surprising.

 

“Thank you... I... how much do you know.”

 

“Just the basics. What Bruce has told me... and that things just got a little more complicated... I know there's more...”

 

Steve gave a nod as his face fell. They could all see how much this situation was affecting him. No matter how strong a person was, no matter how many fronts he put up... bear the weight of the world on one set of shoulders? Everyone's got their limits...

 

“I'm sorry, I just... I need a moment...”

 

She gave a quick nod, stepping aside.

 

“Of course...”

 

No one hesitated to give Steve just that. With what had just happened... being separated, even for a moment...

 

“He's on the verge of bond shock...”

 

Jen turned to the red haired woman, the Black Widow... Beautiful, strong... and an air that said she was more dangerous than she looked.

 

“I—.”

 

“I know who you are. I knew you'd be good for this case. Your sense of justice drives you, that's a good thing. It's what he needs in this, what they both need...”

 

She gave a glance in Bruce's direction, it was a subtle thank you and he gave a nod. Jen was still a bit nervous but The Widow, Natasha... she held out her hand with a small piece, circular, maybe an implant of some kind.

 

“People think bites are the only way to create bonds. But if that were true, severing them would be so much simpler. Less messy. They make it easier to _create_ them, sure, but... Steve nearly lost his head back there. That doesn't happen with just a one sided bite for a bond. Pretty sure he doesn't wanna see this thing ever again. Snagged it when he wasn't looking because he was prepared to leave it just to protect Bucky if it meant it would, keep it away from him... but it's also evidence they'd be more than willing to hide or tamper with.”

 

Jen was quiet a moment, her hand closing around the piece once Natasha handed it to her. She continued after a moment.

 

“Steve's... losing grip on his instincts. I've never seen that happen before but with someone like him... it could be very dangerous... He can't do this alone... more so... he shouldn't have to. I think we all know he would given the chance. Right now, he needs that moment and I think we should give him that... but you're here to talk case files. Let's talk case files.”

 

.oOo.

 

No one bothered Steve for a long while. Between discussion regarding Bucky's case, S.H.I.E.L.D., and taking down Hydra, there were reasons not to. He stayed with Bucky, just by his side making sure he was okay, listening to the monitor watching both his and the baby's heartbeats. Listening to each steady breath in his sleep, too afraid they might stop to let go... But he also knew those were discussions he should make himself a part of. He knew his mate was safe, he just...

 

Eventually, he forced himself to walk to the door, leaning on the frame of it to listen. It was a while before anyone noticed him. Anyone that wasn't Natasha anyway. Jen was...

 

“From the information I have, it's an attempt to shift the blame. So where does that leave us standing? I could certainly prove it, but there are still a few pieces missing.”

 

“I'm sure you know that was intentional on their part. Once Hydra's dealt with, we can give you access everything that would be needed for his trial. We should have noticed the holes sooner...”

 

“What about absolvement?”

 

Both women turned to Wade before Natasha turned back to Jen as if asking the same question. She was the law expert here, and it was becoming very clear she was well versed in her field.

 

“It's a possibility, but right now, it's slim. Ideally, Hydra is exposed and the real people responsible will be put away. But as it stands, there are so many crimes leading back to him, beyond reasonable doubt, the U.S. Government still has a right to put him on trial, even if they don't manage to convict him. And they will certainly try from what I can tell... There's also the possibility of interference... someone trying to intercept the process. We already know Hydra isn't above that...”

 

“So what would you need?”

 

“Apart from all the case files we currently have? Full medical evaluation and any possible history, a current psychiatric log for evidence of trauma and any and all recovery. Information prior to his capture would be immensely helpful. We would also have to be careful not to include any perceived bias, so it would have to be the full scope of everything committed to him, and everything he committed. Pretty much anything factual we can get our hands on. And then a messenger who could stay under the radar... I'd have to compile all of it into formal documentation and have it sent to the U.N. for evaluation. If they have any sense... we'd get the right answer back, and the charges would immediately be dropped under the Geneva Conventions. But it would take time, and with everything we need, everything from now until we managed that point, the U.S. would still have that right to try him. Somebody committed those crimes. As far as they know, as far as they _care_... somebody has to answer to them...”

 

“Somebody's going to.”

 

They all turned to Steve. Most surprised to have noticed him when he finally spoke. Natasha just gave a smile.

 

“Once Hydra's dealt with, we'll have access to that information. And they won't have the resources to stop it. The only thing left will be clean up. I don't want there to be a moment my son has to spend away from his Oma. And I want Bucky to know... that the world knows he's innocent...”

 

Fury was the next to speak, crossing his arms.

 

“Well, look at you... Left quite a mess letting those sorry bastards know what's comin'. I guess you plan on cleaning it up too... Shouldn't be surprised, dad always did say you were a rebel. Now I know why you were so pissy. And why that equipment was stolen—. I'm sorry, _borrowed..._ but I guess at this point, it doesn't matter too much. Congratulations... and like the old man said, try to remember you're not alone, or get yourself killed in the process. I got a few extras willing to help too.”

 

It was interesting to think back on his Howlies, the pack he had before and the new one that supported him now... They weren't the same, not even close... When he first met Fury, he couldn't help but see the overlay, the differences and similarities with the one he'd known.

 

Couldn't help being happy for the man he'd known and amazed at the son he almost wasn't able to raise... even if he didn't always agree with him.

 

The pack he had now... they were good people. And he couldn't help but be grateful for it.

 

“Thank you...”

 

They knew it was for more than the baby being acknowledged. Fury gave a nod as Steve gauged the room. The faces looking back at him, with a smirk, a worried smile, determination... hope... were enough to tell him they were more than ready for this.

 

And he didn't doubt that one bit.

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's still a bit of slowness (and fluff), maaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyybe smuts~ <3<3<3 to get through before the takedown and big fight
> 
> did i say big fight, i mean...
> 
> nothing, absolutely nothing, i don't got plans, i don't know what anyone is talkin' about...
> 
> i might need more onions though...
> 
> 8=====D~~~<3


	24. Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky wakes up to a change of pace...
> 
> Steve needs to protect his mate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GAIS!!! GAIS~!!! GO LOOK AT THIS STORY FILLED WITH SWEETNESS AND DOMESTIC STUCKY AND MPREG BUCKY THAT SOMEONE WAS SWEET ENOUGH TO ENTERTAIN MY CRAZY ASS WITH!!!
> 
> <3<3<3
> 
>  
> 
> ['Just the Way You Are' by 'Daretodream66'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20286661)
> 
>  
> 
> <3<3<3
> 
> LOOK AT IT! 
> 
> LOOK AT IT!
> 
> LOOK AT IT!
> 
> okay, i'ma stop now... WOW this took me forever to get around to... but seriously, go check it out, if you haven't seen that stupid prompt fic hybrid thing i've been updating, i *would* say go check that out too and laugh your asses off at my insanity, i'm a crackhead, but y'all knew this... but... unfortunately, site overlords are stuffy when it comes to artistic exploration... so alas, i must find some revisions to make the blatantly obvious storytelling undeniably present...
> 
> like a dick pic~
> 
> yes, you read that correctly...
> 
> ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
> 
> seriously read it though, it helped with my low inspiration for this one and i will be sad and put SO MANY more onions in if you don't...

.oOo.

 

When Bucky woke, he hadn't been expecting his mate to be there, but he supposed he shouldn't have been so surprised. He couldn't help the feeling either... knowing his cheeks had flushed from the sudden rush of heat to them, barely pulling the blanket in as if wanting to hide.

 

Steve hadn't noticed him at first, seeming to be going through a few things sitting on the floor. Packing? But the moment he did, that same soft smile followed along with a simple kiss to Bucky's forehead.

 

“Hey...”

 

“Steve?”

 

Steve flushed himself, figuring what the question was. Taking a breath.

 

“I um... maybe jumped the gun on things... kinda told Hydra to eat shit and quit? I was angrier than I realized... made a mistake... _*sigh*_... It's not safe for you here anymore...”

 

Bucky raised a brow but couldn't help the flutter in his chest as he sat up a bit.

 

“Was I ever, really?”

 

Steve gave a look of slight surprise and a worried smile...

 

“Fair enough...”

 

Bucky was about the stand up but Steve quickly stopped him, having him sit back down.

 

“Uh—... Bruce says it looks like you've stabilized... but he just... he wanted to check before you were up and about again.”

 

Bucky paused. He could read it was so much more than that, and he could guess exactly why... but just nodded. Steve still looked worried but quickly went and got Bruce.

 

Bruce ran a full medical exam, a bit more detailed than normal, taking note of his body's current state, the baby's health, and explaining to Bucky some of the various things they had talked about regarding his trial while he was asleep. More specifically, what they would need for and from him medically, in both mind and body. Professional help and full evaluation was something that would help his case tremendously, but considering what he'd been through, they weren't going to force him to push through that if he felt it was something he couldn't do or didn't want. Especially not with the current state he was in... Bucky just gave a nod.

 

He knew they were worried... He knew he... _should_ get help... looking at his mate's face only made the guilt rise in his chest. He still wasn't sure he was worth all of this for him... for them... but he knew he had to... _try._

 

“I will... think about it.”

 

Bruce gave a nod. It was well enough for now.

 

With the serum, it was likely Bucky would heal fairly quickly if he hadn't fully already, but Bruce still wanted to keep monitor in case anything else happened for the next few days. Telling him to be cautious as they moved.

 

Steve of course took this as not allowing Bucky's feet to even touch the ground, swooping in the moment he tried to stand.

 

“Steve?”

 

He looked a bit surprised but hadn't put Bucky down yet.

 

“I need to pee...”

 

“Oh...”

 

It was clear his instincts were maybe a bit frazzled. Despite the worry, there was some part of Bucky that was happy to see his Alpha responding this way, even if it was a bit ridiculous, and he felt a bit guilty for it. It still scared him... what had happened. And thinking on it with his head more clear, it felt like he'd been trapped in his own body by his mind, losing himself with all that pain, with—... He took a breath.

 

It wasn't... _quite..._ like the... like  _being_ the weapon Hydra had made him... and in other ways, all too much. He couldn't stop the guilt, even if Steve didn't blame him, he'd still almost—... he was still _broken._

 

Steve and the pup deserved far better from him.

 

He washed his hands and stepped out, it was clear Steve was still a bit on edge. Bucky paused a moment, staring at what he'd packed and gone through. They didn't have a lot of possessions in this house, but...

 

“I can help.”

 

“N-no. That's... it's okay, Buck, I just... you should rest...”

 

Bucky gave a hesitant nod. He wanted to help... but he also knew he'd done enough...

 

“Where are we going to go?”

 

Steve paused, letting out a breath.

 

“That's up to you... we got two offers.”

 

.oOo.

 

“ **Yes!** Ellie's gonna be thrilled! Oh, and Al~. This is gonna be great!”

 

Steve glanced at his Omega, seeming a bit surprised and slightly amused by Wade's reaction as the other Omega chatted him up. Steve sighed, glancing back at Jen.

 

“I'm sorry, I... he didn't want to impose.”

 

“No, it's fine... It's clear they're already forming something of a sister bond. And it probably will be safer for him with...”

 

“Undoubtedly...”

 

He turned to Bruce, quiet another moment.

 

“He still needs a doctor... I thought you were staying with Tony.”

 

“Uh, _no_ , I _was_ but—.”

 

“Oh, c'mon Bruce, you know that wasn't your fault...”

 

“Jen, I know you're trying to make me feel better, but it's not gonna change what happened.”

 

“They're both adults Bruce, all you did was be a friend.”

 

“But if I hadn't been there, it wouldn't have torn a rift between them.”

 

“Whoa, I don't understand... what happened?”

 

The cousins sighed before Bruce spoke, hanging his head a bit in guilt.

 

“Tony and Pepper broke up... or they were about to when I left... I was spending too much time with him in the lab, it was pulling them apart.”

 

“That is, assuming they stayed together once you left. Even if you were the reason they were drifting, you couldn't be the reason they break up if you were taken out of the equation. Tony's an adult, his decisions are his own.”

 

“Doesn't mean he can't be influenced by pheromones or fate...”

 

“Isn't that something you should talk to him about?”

 

Bruce seemed surprised by Steve's words, opening his mouth to reply but then closing it. Steve even seemed a bit surprised by them but Jen smiled at him for them.

 

“I... I know things aren't the same as they used to be... people don't have to follow what marks say... sometimes... sometimes they're wrong, I know that... can mess people up, be more trouble than they're worth... but don't you owe it yourself to at least try and figure out why fate wanted to put you together? You're both scientists, right? I know it doesn't always work out... it's not the fantasy everyone made it out to be when I was a kid, but I—...”

 

Steve glanced over at his own mate... of _everything_ Bucky had been through... he didn't want to be something else that hurt him. He liked to hope... maybe that was the reason they'd been marked for each other, so that despite everything, Bucky could still have a reason to be happy... _someone_ so he wasn't so alone... someone who could keep Hydra out of the picture. And maybe someone else would be better for him, but... He heard Bruce give a sigh.

 

“Tony's... more curious than I am. I'm sure he'd want to know, as much as anyone... I just don't want to be the reason he keeps himself from something better. Fate got it right with you two... it's just... Hydra... that got in the way... And there isn't anyone better to take them down than Captain America. Even time managed to pull you two back together... But there are so many things that Tony wants that I just... wouldn't be able to give him. And no amount of time's ever going to fix that.”

 

“That's not something you could know for sure...”

 

Bruce gave another sigh, rolling his eyes, despite himself, smiling at Jen's words.

 

“I keep forgetting what you do for a living.”

 

“Yeah, and I'm normally not as nice to people.”

 

Steve couldn't help the smile either, Jen was... she was somethin' else, and he could already tell, she'd be good for the team.

 

“So... training?”

 

“We'll work it out... thank you, again... you should probably get going though before the merc gets any other ideas. I think I just saw the cabbie he called pull up.”

 

Steve gave a nod, glancing back at his mate and deciding to give him a little extra time anyway... especially when he noticed there was someone missing from the room. He picked up the bags, stepping outside. Making sure to close the door when he saw him.

 

“Barton.”

 

.oOo.

 

Steve couldn't help going over the conversation he'd had with his friend as he held Bucky close to him. Thinking about how lucky he'd been to get there in time... to... to have the friends he did. His hand intertwined with Bucky's flesh one, gently placed with it over the small swell of his Omega's belly. He was still reluctant to have Bucky moving too much with how he'd been at risk.

 

Natasha had promised to make sure no one could follow them, namely because she didn't trust Wade, but his tactics weren't... unhelpful, just unorthodox. Steve had spoken with Fury and Maria as well. And she'd let him know that they had two other players in mind that would be willing to help in the more subtle tactics, and the more aggressive. Fury said he'd deal with the hornet's nest in the meantime.

 

But what Clint had offered...

 

“What are you thinking about?”

 

Steve shook his head, kissing his mate's forehead.

 

When they got there, Wade was about as expected. Overly hospitable and excited. And very loud.

 

“ **AL!** You in there? I brought guests!”

 

“Mama!”

 

“Hey, sweetheart!”

 

Ellie had run to him the moment they stepped in through the door. She'd been sitting on the floor coloring while an elderly woman seemed to be listening to older radio shows.

 

“Wade?”

 

“Right here Althea~. Say hello to our new friends. They'll be staying with us for a bit.”

 

“What did he bring in the house this time, Ellie?”

 

“Bucky! And... _and Captain America..._ ”

 

Ellie's last words were much quieter, she seemed to get a bit shier around Steve but Wade was still holding her.

 

“Captain A-what? Sweet child, what is happening?”

 

Because of course _Wade_ wasn't gonna tell her. Steve barely got a look at the board covered in map pieces and crayon— _plans?_ —before he got a message from Natasha.

 

_: Your tail got lost, I guess I owe your host some credit, even if it was dumb luck. They seem quite frustrated. Come find me. Fury's sending a helper, but this may be worth something to you. :_

 

“Steve?”

 

Steve paused a moment, looking at Bucky again, and then at the same planning board Wade had set up. Dopinder came in near dragging the bags they'd had and Steve quickly helped him. He'd carried Bucky in and near forgot about them. Then another message.

 

_: Not 5 minutes and they already start making plans... are you in? :_

 

Steve leaned in to kiss Bucky one more time. He wasn't going to risk anything this time...

 

“I have to go...”

 

**: I'm on my way. :**

 

 _._ oOo.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8======D~<3<3<3
> 
> help. me. spread. the. baby. mama. bucky. like. a. bad. case. of. the. clap.
> 
> or just any venereal disease... wildly and untameably terrible and so very very wrong~ but obviously in a much more delicious way<3<3<3
> 
> MMM~<3
> 
> want an idea? I GOT EM!! make me gift? free promo included in my latest fic!! (exposure to whoever listens to my bitch ass stupidity~!!)... i wanna build a monster collection~ Should I just make a general one for mumma Bucky, lol?
> 
> ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
> 
> BUT ON A DIFFERENT NOTE
> 
> BIIIIITCH
> 
> BITCH
> 
> BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH
> 
> I realized there's so much fucking world and plot building/build up I have to do, and pulling ALL of that shit together has been FRUSTRATING, like y'all have no idea, but I think I got something now, I'm trying to balance it between the action and what I want for each chapter, so the next one should have more action and movement, but legit, THERE IS SO MUCH FUCKING SUBTLETY I HAVE TO BUILD LIKE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK MY LIFE WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF???
> 
> Okay... i think i'm done...
> 
> but also, i'm working on a whole bunch of other side shit, like i have the inspiration now, but i'm just too fucking distracted to focus on one thing, hopefully i can get a flow back soon, but i might end up adding a new piece or two to 'the lilac half space potato' series, i started working on ANOTHER fucking fic too! BECAUSE I'M A FUCKIN MORON OF COURSE. It should be shorter and hopefully i'll have it done for halloween, but who fucking knows with my attention span
> 
> give me attention so i can keep focused on my shit...
> 
> or just... MOAR MUMMA BUCKY I AM SO GODDAMN FUCKING DEPRIVED FUCK.


	25. Usefulness & Wear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of being left unused.
> 
> And being worn down...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooohhh... BITCH.
> 
> I am so fucking salty right now, y'all don't even KNOW.
> 
> I am salty as fuck. And I am pissed. And that makes me PETTY as fuck.
> 
> Finding some inspiration has been harder than a penis, but if all goes well, hopefully, I will have a brand new and complete fic in time for Hallow's Eve, if not, i'll figure something else to post for you gais~ but that is the goal here. For now. I get distracted easily so I can promise nothing.
> 
> But anyway, I'm fucking petty, and pissed, and WHY IS THERE NOT ENOUGH MUMMA BUCKY??? MOTHERFUCKER!
> 
> I also figured I should at least try to get one chapter for this story out a month like a bad irregular period if I can't get that inspiration to come back consistently. I feel bad leaving it hanging for so long, but i'm also feeling pretty drained AND IN NEED OF MOAR MUMMA BUCKY!!!
> 
> Give to meeeeeeeeeeeeee... pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaase... TT______________________________TT

_._ oOo.

 

“I was wondering when you'd show up.”

 

He took a look at the bodies knocked out all around.

 

“Doesn't look like you really needed me...”

 

She gave a smirk. Already hacking into another Hydra computer.

 

“This one off the books?”

 

“Something like that. The facility is a lot bigger than it looks. I have a little birdy surveying the outside for me.”

 

“Clint?”

 

She gave another smile. “Not exactly... There's definitely more information here than what we could dig with S.H.I.E.L.D..”

 

“Anything on Pierce?”

 

“Not yet—дерьмо _._ Looks like they know we're here. Think you could do some clean up for me? Join you in a minute.”

 

Steve let the first few agents try to find a way into the room, only to knock them back with his shield. They weren't light on the guns, but they didn't have the strength to deal with a supersoldier. He threw the shield, bouncing it off the walls to knock out more of them, dropkicking another and quickly rolling onto his feet in a crouch to sweep another. The reaction was quick enough, punting the same agent out of consciousness and punching another through his shield the moment it came back to him. Ducking to avoid a hit before grabbing an ankle, dragging one guy into a wall before throwing him at another.

 

There was a yell from up above, German, behind him, likely holding a gun. He glanced but didn't turn, noticing more of them lining up and hearing Romanoff on the comm.

 

“ _Looks like our late entry could use a little back up.”_

 

And hearing a familiar voice respond.

 

“ _On it.”_

 

The next he saw, the same friend he'd made coming in on wings to handle the man up on a balcony behind him. A kick over the ledge, a couple shots to disarm them as Steve handled a few more on his level. Sam using his wings to knock a few down himself. Finally landing in front of Cap. Steve didn't get too much a chance to greet him before they had more Hydra agents rushing in to deal with.

 

 _._ oOo.

 

Bucky watched the clock tick by from where he was sitting, Ellie on the floor beside him still coloring. Al was sleeping on the couch next to him. Wade had gotten around to introducing her after she'd complained enough, then made sure Bucky sat down to rest on 'Cap's orders and concern' since he still had to set up the guest room for his bed rest. He'd also gotten distracted. Now cooking something for them.

 

He looked to the plan Wade had set up. There were pins and pictures, those were new, some more red marks than before...

 

 _Steve_...

 

His Alpha was doing what he could to ensure that Hydra wouldn't be a threat anymore... and Bucky...

 

He felt useless.

 

“Here we go! One stack of banana pancakes with chocolate chips for the pregnant Oma to be~.”

 

He handed Bucky a plate with said pancakes, maple syrup spilled over them before adding _lots_ of whipped cream.

 

“And one stack of _smaller_ blueberry pancakes with strawberry syrup for my little one~. Op! Hands are clean sweetheart?”

 

She quickly ran off excitedly to wash them since she'd been coloring on the floor, happy to get some pancakes, with some whipped cream, to enjoy from her own Oma. Pausing for a second as she cut her fork into them and Wade stared at her expectantly. Then kissing him on the cheek as a thank you. Bucky couldn't help the smile but he...

 

Wade gave him a similar expectant look and Bucky thanked him. Al had wanted chocolate with strawberry, but obviously, she'd fallen asleep. Wade didn't seem to care much, quietly setting the plate on her lap. _Then_ she woke up, gun in hand and aimed at a wall. Wade moving it and then putting a fork in her hand. She did _not_ thank him. But she did call him a motherfucker and start eating.

 

“Hey, I'll have you know I resent that. I have never fucked anyone who was a mother at the time I was fucking them or became a mother directly because of me.”

 

“You could have waited.”

 

“But then they would've gotten cold! Enjoy Althea~.”

 

Bucky stayed quiet another moment and Wade noticed.

 

“Something wrong, Bucky boo~?”

 

He shook his head and took a bite. They were... _really_ good. But he didn't have much of an appetite, even if the sickness he felt before was gone. Pancakes were an odd thing to have in the middle of the night, but no one could really sleep besides Al. Ellie had been worried about her Oma and insisted on watching him now to make sure he 'stayed out of trouble' 'cause she'd taken naps'. Either way, he knew he _should_ eat something, if not for himself, then for the baby...

 

 _._ oOo.

 

“Fury sign you on for this?”

 

“Well, you don't call, you don't write. Figured you're busy with the mated life but I had to make myself busy with somethin'.”

 

“Sorry... and thank you, Sam.”

 

“I'm fine, just try to keep in better touch. You ain't gotta handle this yourself. I signed back on to help you out after all, we gotta see this through, right?”

 

Sam offered a hand but Steve quickly pulled him in for a hug. He knew he'd been a lousy friend, but he couldn't help being thankful.

 

“What a tender moment boys. But the fight isn't over. They have another mainframe deeper in this place. Let's say we play Deadpool's game but a little more... _sophisticated._ ”

 

They followed her lead, taking out more Hydra as they came. And with her help, it wasn't long before they managed to knock everyone out and get to the other side of the building. To be honest, in any other scenario, it mighta been a disappointment.

 

“That it?”

 

“You honestly want more?”

 

“Steve's used to more of a challenge. Though to be fair, I think we did catch them unprepared.”

 

“You're both crazy...”

 

Steve couldn't help the smile. Neither could Natasha as they watched Sam shake his head and walk a little to the side keeping watch. And it didn't take much for her to hack the next mainframe. Steve was staring up at the information. The last time she downloaded stuff on Hydra...

 

He took a breath.

 

“Anything useful?”

 

“Lots of it actually. Almost too easy. But it could mean luck.”

 

“Or a trap.”

 

“Smart birdy. But considering their mission beforehand, I don't think they were expecting us.”

 

Right... they'd been trying to follow him and Bucky.

 

“We can work out the details later, right?”

 

“And send in Wilson—the other Wilson, just in case.”

 

Steve raised a brow at her.

 

“Not the Hulk?”

 

“Wade's more of a punishment.”

 

Steve might've laughed if not for what pulled up on the screen. The smile he would have had fading before it had a chance to show up.

 

“Oh my god...”

 

“Jesus...”

 

“Steve? They knew _beforehand._ This isn't your fault.”

 

He looked at her but he couldn't help feeling the guilt wash over him as his breaths got heavier. They'd had suspicions of course, but he'd confirmed it for them.

 

_And Bucky had been right..._

 

They didn't want him _pregnant..._ it would have taken away any usefulness he might have otherwise. Keeping a viable fetus within him would also mean holding back on whatever torture they could manage to ensure his memories stayed burried. But they weren't exactly opposed to the idea of a _viable fetus_ either... More importantly...

 

They weren't opposed to the potential mix of supersoldier cocktail between their serums...

 

There were several plans in the files. But all of them led back to the same. Once they'd gotten him back, ideally when Steve had _thrown him away_ that first time... the idea had been to sterilize and bond him to one of the Alphas under Hydra for better control, and then use him to capture Steve. They'd wanted to remove Bucky's reproductive systems to prevent a pregnancy... and then harvest as many samples for experimentation as they could. From both of them. Whether cloning their cells, starting from scratch and _growing_ new _soldiers_ via test tube, or... under suspicion that the birth controls had failed...

 

_Removing the fetus for disection and further analysis of the serum... and recreating it._

 

Steve could feel his own heart racing in his ears.

 

_He'd given them confirmation... and they knew **exactly**_ _what they wanted to do._

 

He barely waited for Natasha to remove the extra flashdrive she'd had to siphon information before his shield was in the monitor. And she only took a step back when he punched in the command console. He barely managed to hold back the growls.

 

“Steve...”

 

“I—.”

 

“This is _not_ your fault. _This_... is **Hydra**... you _know_ that... Bucky's safe. And because of you—.”

 

“ _They're never getting Bucky again..._ ”

 

He took his shield out of the monitor to finish up destroying the computer, a harsh throw between remaining pieces to damage them beyond repair. Yanking down another with enough backlash of force to damn near shatter it. He took a breath to calm himself. He knew his scent was sour enough just by the responses from his friends...

 

“What did we get?”

 

“This facility isn't as guarded as any of the hidden S.H.I.E.L.D. ones. So a few new playgrounds, some extra data. Some of it's encrypted but we have Bruce for that.”

 

“Anything on Pierce?”

 

“Nothing obvious...”

 

The implication was that there might be something in the encrypted files, but the apologetic look she gave said it wasn't likely, and she had tried to find anything she could.

 

“Okay... let's make sure this place isn't salvagable.”

 

She gave a short nod before they finished up their work.

 

.oOo.

 

Getting back made Steve near desperate. Every instinct in him _screaming_ , needing to verify that Bucky was _safe_. That he would _stay_ safe. _That they both would_.

 

He'd nearly rolled over Wade in an effort to get to Bucky, and it wasn't until he was inhaling the calm scent of his Omega that he was able to calm himself down.

 

“Steve?”

 

The slight tinge of worry only made him hang on tighter. It faded when Bucky saw the look on Natalia's face. He saw her talk to Wade, along with another man. He recognized him. The other Omega that Steve knew... but while he saw them discussing some of the information, and new data, regarding their plans, Steve was in enough distress for Bucky to pull away, still calming him down.

 

The worry in Steve's own scent was near overwhelming. And it only seemed to blast him tenfold by the time they got to the room Wade had given them.

 

“You weren't in bed, how are—are you okay? Why weren't you in bed? You— _resting—_.''

 

“ _Steve..._ I've been in bed or resting nearly this whole day. I'm okay. The baby's... okay. What happened...?”

 

Steve looked as if he might respond for a moment, but instead just ended up pulling in Bucky and holding him tight again. They had to have stayed like that for at least an hour, just with Bucky running his finger's through his Alpha's hair to calm him down. And Bucky couldn't help but feel... _all this trouble..._

 

_Was he really worth it?_

 

Eventually, Steve did calm down, looking at Bucky with that same soft smile.

 

“Hey... sorry, I just...”

 

He brought his hand to a cut on Steve's cheek. He was worn... tiredness showing in his eyes and he wasn't taking breaks. Bucky knew enough about his serum to know it was supposed to prevent fatigue... _this was..._

 

“You don't need to apologize... you haven't slept.”

 

Steve just took the hand and kissed his palm, holding it close.

 

“Haven't eaten either...”

 

“Wade made pancakes if you... there was more batter.”

 

Steve smiled a bit more.

 

“Steve...”

 

“You're okay...”

 

He'd said it as if to confirm it himself, almost like he was having trouble believing it. Bucky hesitated a moment, but his Alpha was... _this was too much for one person to take on._ He had his pack, but they wouldn't stop him if—.

 

“You don't have to do this alone.”

 

And the sudden alarm on Steve's face said more than enough.

 

“Bucky, I need to keep you safe. I haven't done _enough_...”

 

“You've done more.”

 

“But Hydra's still out there... you didn't see what I saw... what they—...”

 

Bucky took a breath, closing his eyes and leaning in closer with his Alpha, letting him take in the same scent to calm down. Whatever he'd seen... for it to affect him this harshly... It only made Bucky feel worse.

 

He'd selfishly dragged Steve into this mess. And his Alpha was paying for it.

 

 _Far_ more than he should...

 

.oOo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooohh... sweet Bucky... so it builds... and builds...
> 
> Sammy's back! Wonder what's he's for~. ;)
> 
> Also, I love how no one asked me about what Steve's conversation with Clint was about, I guess you all trust me to answer it... maybe I shouldn't, just for that. I need some goddamn attention. Y'all know it helps inspire me~.
> 
> Don't you want me to write moar~?


	26. Regression- (Pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam agrees to a favor for Steve.
> 
> Steve takes on a new project for Bucky...
> 
> Sam has some regrets, but maybe...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, hello~.
> 
> what the fuck is this? this totally isn't here, obviously, this story's been abandoned and forgotten in the graveyard of long lost beautiful stucky fics i wish would fucking continue because i am still so goddamn fucking salty and deprived and need me moar of that mumma bucky...
> 
> but i suppose if you want to stay and feed me attention... i certainly won't despise your company... the price is motherfucking inspiration so i can continue writing this goddamn story y'all seem to enjoy so much and entertain the fuck out of you with the drama and the crackfest, so fucking pay the piper, i need some attention!
> 
> and on that note, this bitch got fucking distracted again~ cause honestly, when don't i? seriously, i need inspiration for all the fics i'm working on, or at least people to rant to about the garbage that happened in endgame, cause bitch, that shit is still gettin' me down
> 
> but anywho, i started another wolfie steeb fic~<3 HNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGHHHHH<3<3<3
> 
> it's a beauty and the beast one~... very elegant, very lovely~ if i do say so myself... and very... *dark*<3 along with naughty if you're looking for those delightful porny elements!
> 
> it's also the first fic i'm writing that has a Steve and Bucky who knew each other/were friends through childhood, cause holy shit, i can't believe it's taken me so long to write one of those! maybe with a bit of a twist... Bucky's a faerie~ cause i just couldn't resist, and he's fuckin' adorable
> 
> here's a link for the lazy fucker, just keep in mind there may be a bit of horror and gore~<3 love me a wolfie steeb that loses control<3<3<3:
> 
> [Under Moonlit Mercy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21269969/chapters/50641892)
> 
> did you follow it? are you gonna leave me some inspiration~?
> 
> ...
> 
> well, fuck me then, i guess i'll just quietly go away for satan knows how long...
> 
> check out the fic
> 
> give me attention
> 
> please? i'm fuckin' lonely here...

.oOo.

 

Sam took a breath. He was still pretty sure there were damn better choices for this, but Steve had asked him. With those stupid puppy eyes of his.

 

And Sam hadn't had the willpower to say _no._

 

Well, at the very least, he could manage a basic evaluation and working diagnosis. Then suggest what they _did_ need. Definitely a specialist, a Doctor that could manage giving Steve's mate full attention for on call private sessions, probably with _years_ of experience. This was seriously out of his league...

 

And he couldn't help feeling even more out of place as the other Omega just stared at him. It wasn't like he had a forming sister bond with him either. They'd barely interacted beyond... the _Soldier_ trying to kill him... and he'd been worried about Steve from day one. From that first moment they seemed to stop and scent each other on the highway. From the moment Steve first uttered the words.

 

“ _I... I think he's my_ mate _...”_

 

But looking at him now... holding himself so cautious as if making the wrong move might break the world, _protecting his—..._ he didn't even seem like the same person.

 

“Steve told me you're not from the States... that right?”

 

He didn't quite hesitate, but it took a moment before he nodded. He could guess that he'd only agreed to do this because of how much Steve worried about him. It wasn't exactly difficult to understand why he'd be wary.

 

“You wanna tell me a bit about yourself?”

 

When his only response was another stare, Sam knew this would be a _long_ while...

 

.oOo.

 

Steve couldn't help thinking on the conversation he had with Clint. But then, he wasn't used to being just a passenger if not the pilot. Specifically, not knowing his destination. He hadn't necessarily expected Clint to ask for one of the Quinjets. But then he hadn't expected him to need it either. And thinking back on that day...

 

_Steve could scent him before seeing it. He knew there weren't a lot of reasons his friend would cry. But he knew what reason this particular one was. They'd all felt this reason. Even Steve. Despite the... awkward wording in their first encounter, Steve could see the good in the man. He was braver than most of them had been that day. Braver than he needed to be._

 

“ _Clint...”_

 

 _When he didn't get a reaction, he noticed his friend had taken the hearing aids out. He knew he had noticed him being there, but it wasn't likely he wanted to_ talk. _Not exactly._

 

_Steve could only wait for Clint to wipe the tears and look at him. When he did, he waited for any indication that his friend might want him gone. When there was none. He signed an 'I'm sorry' to him._

 

_Clint only shook his head. The rapid fire return that came next nearly caught Steve off guard. Enough for him to be reminded of how lucky he was to have an eidetic memory. Barely managing to keep up._

 

_'It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. No one's fault but... You didn't ask for this, it just happened. Fate happens. It just decides for us, right? Who we're supposed to love and how long we get to... You have a chance to make this right and... I fucked up my chance. It hurts to be reminded... but that's not your fault.'_

 

_Steve's response was a lot slower and shorter._

 

_'You shouldn't blame yourself either.'_

 

_'Blame... who else can I? Thor's mate? It's not his fault. As much as I wanted to hate him, push everything that happened on him, he was in the same boat. And Thor just wanted him back. How fair would it be for me to push that on him? He's not the one who shot him. Who made sure he wouldn't get back up. There's no one to blame but me. We both know that.'_

 

_'He wouldn't want you to think that way.'_

 

_'He's not here, is he...?'_

 

_'He doesn't have to be...'_

 

_He could see the way the signed words affected him. See the way his face changed, the way the tears came back. The same face of a man who didn't want to be forgiven. Because he felt he didn't deserve it. Even if he did. Even if the people who loved him had already done so._

 

_'You read that on a card?'_

 

_'I see it almost every day. If I just let you feel this way, what would that mean for him?'_

 

_At that, Clint had both punched his arm and pulled him in to cry on. It hadn't hurt much. Steve knew he hadn't meant it to but Clint did happen to be a 6'3'' Alpha with skill and strength to show for being an Avenger, despite being completely human. The serum cushioned the rest. Steve waited for him to calm down._

 

_After a while, he continued..._

 

_'So many of his victims... should have been nameless. Not to Hydra. But as far as he was concerned. They weren't. Because of who he is... they couldn't be. There are a lot more days I can't convince him that any one of them would forgive him, even if they knew. There are still days I don't know how to help him...'_

 

_'Natasha told me not to think about how many I might have...'_

 

 _'She would. But when it comes to Phil... I think you owe it to him. To live your life and... he wanted you to be happy. For Bucky... I guess I wanna believe he's owed a life. After everything he's been through... what Hydra stole from him and all those people. But if I turned my back on him... neither of you had a choice. But it's the choice you_ would _have made, if you had one, that shows who you really are. And I know you would've made the right one. He knew it too.'_

 

_'I know... but knowing I didn't... I remember... his last breaths, the look in his eyes. We'd... we'd talked about starting a family. He wanted to, you know... always prepared and... He died because I protected someone else. From him. I guess... your situation... it just hit me harder than I expected it to.'_

 

_'I'm sorry...'_

 

_Steve knew it wouldn't change anything, but he... Clint just shook his head, if calmer, putting back in his hearing aids._

 

“ _Like I said, it's not your fault.”_

 

Steve took a breath, the conversation at the time had taken a turn towards something else. Something Phil Coulson had left behind in wake of everything that happened. Something Clint couldn't bring himself to keep with everything it should have meant. But not so much to simply sell either.

 

When Steve asked what it was, Clint had _claimed_ to not know, saying Phil had only given him coordinates for it. The smirk he gave said otherwise. As did asking Steve if he had a passport. Seeing the area clearly enough as they got closer to the ground, Steve could take a guess.

 

The land around them was clear, the grass bright. Wildflowers took their place to add even more color. The air was cool and crisp. The area was beautiful if a bit remote. There were also a number of tools and supplies, including a drafting table.

 

“This place is a little ways away from a small town, but it has everything it needs. Or it will.”

 

“A property. Phil left you a plot of land?”

 

“And everything needed to build a home...”

 

“I can't ask for this.”

 

“You didn't... I just can't keep it. Figured it might be better in the hands of someone who could make good use of it. He'd be proud, you know? Knowing it at least made someone happy. Knowing it made you happy though? There's enough land for a small farm. The idea was to get it up and running enough to be completely self sustainable. And completely safe.”

 

“Where are we? You still haven't—.”

 

“Iceland!”

 

When Steve raised a brow, Clint started laughing.

 

“Yeah, I knew you'd give me that look. He chose it because it was supposed to be one of the safest places on Earth. I believe it... Plus all the pretty lights that happen at night? Might have to learn some Icelandic but—.”

 

“Thank you, Clint... I think... I'm sure he'll love it...”

 

“Oh, I'm sure he will... but maybe don't thank me yet. He wanted to make everything from scratch. You might just get sick of me before this is all over.”

 

“And miss a chance at having you as my building buddy? Now why would I do that?”

 

.oOo.

 

“He's going to kill himself... and it's going to be my fault.”

 

_Oh boy..._

 

If Sam had even wanted to think he'd made any bit of progress with Steve's mate... it felt like he'd had it all just backtrack with those few words. The scariest part about it... was how he'd gotten to know Steve. How he'd watched him. If he had to, to protect Bucky, his _kid_ , he would. But Sam wasn't so sure his Omega would be able to survive through something like that, let alone come to terms with it. Even if Sam said none of this was his fault, he wasn't gonna believe it. Not now. The words slipped before he could catch them.

 

“What do you plan to do about it?”

 

And the way those eyes changed. The tears welling, the strange mix of fear... and _hope._ They hadn't been words he'd expected to hear, they hadn't even been words Sam expected to say. But he could almost _feel_ the expectedness, for him to say something more. He hesitated, barely knowing if this was the right path to follow, the right thing to tell him with what had already happened. But he knew leaving it at that could just make things worse.

 

“You care for him. I can see that. You've been worried about him... almost this entire time. Rather than yourself. And... I'm sure you don't want him hurt. None of us do. I think we all know a little bit of how stubborn he can be. I know you don't want your... pup... to grow up without a dad... But I think you know. You can already do so much more for him than you realize. Than he's let you with all this... overprotectiveness. There's a part of you... that I think can protect him... in ways we couldn't hope to, couldn't reach him. So... if you see him on this path, hurting himself because he thinks that's somehow gonna make you safe... what are you gonna do about it?”

 

Sam didn't get to hear his answer.

 

By the time he might have thought of one, Wade had come by announcing a dinner. And that 'the Alphas had returned home'. It had been a long time, longer than he'd expected. But he could see the tiredness in the Omega's eyes. Steve asked him how it went and he didn't have a real answer. Bucky had spoken about a few things, but his mind had been elsewhere, and in the end...

 

The only suggestion of one was the way Bucky had grabbed and then squeezed his hand gently in both of his own, before Sam left. Something of a silent thank you, hopefully. And if he hadn't been mistaken, determination in those eyes.

 

He didn't stick around to see the answer. When Bucky finally worked up the courage to say what he'd needed to, to Steve.

 

_And it was those exact words that made Steve's heart sink._

 

“Let me _help._ ”

 

.oOo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm... i wonder what steeb's answer will be...
> 
> there ya go, some onions, some cotton candy, and a cliffhanger~
> 
> cause it's fuckin' me bitch<3
> 
> also, WE NEED MOAR BABY MUMMA BUCKY.
> 
> fucking feed me.


End file.
